Part 110 - Jokes , Fun , Haasya , Humor , Quotes , Greetings

A man was invited to a wedding. When he reached the hotel, he found two doors written on them...
1.Bride relatives
2.groom relatives
He entered the groom door and found two doors again.
Part 110 - Jokes , Fun , Haasya , Humor , Quotes , Greetings
1. Ladies 2. Men He entered men door n found two doors again. 1.People with gifts 2.People without gifts He entered the second door ( people without gifts ) He found himself outside the hotel..😁😁😁😁


दारू पीने से पहले जो गिलास में उंगली डुबो कर
दो बूंद नीचे गिराई जाती है...
उसे #शराबियों के ग्रन्थ में #संस्कार कहा गया है 😁

DRINK शब्द का एक -एक Alphabet एक -एक पेग के असर को देख कर बनाया गया हैं.

1. यदि एक पेग लेते है तो वो Digestion (पाचन) के लिए ठीक हैं, इसलिये उसका "D" लिया गया .

2. यदि दूसरा पेग लेते है तो वो Relaxation (विश्राम) के लिए ठीक हैं, इसलिये उसका "R" लिया गया .

3. यदि तीसरा पेग लेते है तो वो आपको Intelligent ( बुद्धिमान ) बना देता हैं, इसलिये उसका "I" लिया गया .

4. यदि चौथा पेग लेते है तो वो आपको बातों से Naughty बना देते हैं, इसलिये उसका "N" लिया गया .

5. यदि पांचवा पेग लेते है तो वो आपको King (राजा ) बना देता हैं, इसलिये उसका "K" लिया गया हैं .

इस तरह बना है DRINK .

सभी “ दारूबाजों ” को श्रद्धापूर्वक समर्पित।


Absolute Classic!!!
Frustrated husband : seriously I think that my wife is a distant cousin of Nathuram Godse.

Friend: why do you think so?

Frustrated husband: She has been systematically eliminating all Gandhis from my wallet!


Attachment in Detachment 
When my daughter, the older of my two, wed and left home, I felt a part of me gone.

With a daughter and a son, I know what both mean, differently.

When she was in her teens I felt as if she was my "physical extension" !

So when she left home to set up her own, I felt I lost a limb.

Next time she came to stay with us, I was astonished how her priorities had changed.

We too must've given the same shocks to our own parents !

When she said Amma,
she meant her mother-in-law, not me!

I felt she was always in a hurry to go back to her house and not stay with me for a few more days.

 That was the first time, it dawned on me that I have to start practising detachment with attachment.

Two years after my daughter’s marriage, my son left for higher studies to US.

Having experienced a child's separation once, I was better equipped emotionally.

I plunged head long into various classes held in the city starting from vedanta to healing to ikebana -
 I just wanted to be away from home..since my husband was a 24/7 workaholic.

My son used to write how he was missing my home cooked food, how he was waiting to come back to live in Chennai with us ...

After a few years, he did come back and we got him married.

He started living separately with his wife and we were also happy that they wanted to be independant from the beginning...

But now, it was all changed !

When in the U S, he missed my cooking, now if I called him to come over with his wife for a meal, it was always some excuse like "oh, amma, we have other plans for the day, please don't mistake us if we don't drop in today" !

I could see that his priorities had also changed completely..

We talk so many things and give so much advice to others, but when it comes to our own children, acceptance comes very late. Our next step is to just leave them undisturbed
in every way.

It was at that time, that I made the following, my 'new profile'.

In all my relationships , rather interactions, I give my best and do my best to live up to what I say.

My attachment with them is complete.

However, I remain detached in the sense that I do not expect them to reciprocate my affection.

Most importantly, I make a conscious effort , not to interfere or pass judgements on the lives they choose to lead.

My concern for my near and dear ones will not fade with my detachment.

If you let go of the ones you love, they will never go away –
this is the beauty of attachment with detachment !

I have learnt to love and let go.

This dictum has developed tolerance in me.

When I let the people live the way they want to, I learn to accept them for what they are.

Most importantly ,
I learn to tolerate the world around me and this tolerance brings in me a sense of peace and contentment.

Since both my children live in Chennai, I follow this very strictly, you know why !

Now I have realised that we start growing mentally much more only after the children leave the house and we have to tackle the emotional vacuum, that arises, along with age-related problems .

I specially dedicate this post to my  friends, who are  totally  dependant  on their  children's lives, to nurture their  own  selves  emotionally.

Please develop your  own  intersts, hobbies  etc, however mundane they  seem to be..

We must learn
To love whatever  we  do
instead of
Doing whatever we love !!

"My Great Grandfather was illiterate; he put his  thumb print on his will.                             
My Grandfather was an old SSLC; he put his thumbprint on land deeds.
 My father was a Graduate; He signed on all sale documents.               
I am a graduate; I use my fingerprint to get into my office.                          
My son is a postgraduate but uses his thumbprint to access his own mobile!
 Have we really grown?


The Old man goes to an Audiologist with hearing problem,  so the Audiologist gives him a nice powerful hearing aid. A month later the old man goes back for check up. The Audiologist asks him how is the hearing now. He says it's marvellous. So your family must  be very pleased says the Audiologist.  Old man answers : haven't told the family about my hearing aid. I just sit and listen to everyone 's conversation.  From last month I have changed my WILL  five times😆😆☺👌
Paandu was playing a cricket match. When his individual score reached 35, he took his helmet off, pointed his bat at the stadium and looked at the sky.

His partner was surprised, " You have not reached a 50 or a 100, the team hasn't crossed a milestone, so why are you so excited at reaching 35?"

Paandu, "Only someone who always struggled in studies knows the importance of 35" 😂😂


ಗಂಡ : ಲೇಯ್, ಮರ್ಯಾದೆಯಿಂದ ಮ್ಯಾಚ್ ಹಾಕು..😡😡
ಹೆಂಡತಿ : ಆಗಲ್ಲ, ಏನ್ ಮಾಡ್ತೀರಾ??😠😠😠
ಗಂ : ನೋಡ್ಕೊಳ್ತೀನಿ.. 😐
ಹೆಂ : ಏನ್ ನೋಡ್ಕೊಳ್ತೀರಾ???😡😡
ಗಂ : ಯಾವ ಚ್ಯಾನೆಲ್ ಹಾಕ್ತೀಯೋ ಅದನ್ನೇ ನೋಡ್ಕೊಳ್ತೀನಿ 🤐🤐🙊🙊🙊


*ಜೀವನ ಗಣಿತ*

*ಗುಣಿಸಿದರೆ ಗುಣಾಕಾರ*
*ಬಾಗಿಸಿದರೆ ಬಾಗಾಕಾರ*
*ಕೂಡಿದಿದರೆ ಸಾವುಕಾರ*
*ಕಳೆದರೆ ಸಾಲಗಾರ*
*ನಮ್ಮ ಜೀವನದ ಲೆಕ್ಕಾಚಾರ*

*ಗುಣದಿಂದ ಗುಣಿಸಿದರೆ ಗುಣವಂತ*
*ಭಾವನೆಯಿಂದ ಬಾಗಿದರೆ ಭಾಗ್ಯವಂತ*
*ಹಣದಿಂದ ಕೂಡಿಸಿದರೆ ಹಣವಂತ*
*ಇದ್ದದ್ದನ್ನು ಕಳೆದರೆ ಸಾಲವಂತ*
*ಇದುವೇ ನಮ್ಮ ಜೀವನ ಪಂಥ*

*ಗುಣ್ಯ ಗುಣಕಗಳ ಹಂದರ*
*ಸುಖ ದುಃಖಗಳ ಸಾಗರ*
*ಭಾಜ್ಯ ಭಾಜಕಗಳ ಹಂದರ*
*ವ್ಯಾಜ್ಯ ಕಲಹಗಳ ಸಾಗರ*
*ಆದರೂ ಮಾನವ ಜನ್ಮ ಸುಂದರ*

*ಸಂಕಲ್ಯ ಸಂಕಲಕಗಳ ಮೊತ್ತ*
*ಪಾಪ ಪುಣ್ಯಗಳ ಹುತ್ತ*
*ವ್ಯವಕಲ್ಯ ವ್ಯವಕಲಕಗಳ ವ್ಯತ್ಯಾಸ*
*ಸರಸ ವಿರಸಗಳ ಸಮರಸ*
*ನೋವಿದ್ದರೂ ನಲಿಯುವ ಸಂತಸ*


ಹೆಣ್ಣಿಗೆ ಮೂಗಿನ ಮೇಲೆ ಕೋಪ ಜಾಸ್ತಿ ಅಂತ "ಮೂಗತಿ " ಚುಚ್ಚುತ್ತಾರೆ.....!
ಹಾಗೆಯೇ ಚಂಚಲತೆ ಜಾಸ್ತಿ ಅಂತ ಕಾಲಿಗೆ "ಕಾಲುಂಗರ ಹಾಕುತ್ತಾರೆ......!

ಅಹಂಕಾರದಿಂದ ಕಿವಿ ಕೇಳಿಸುವುದಿಲ್ಲ ಅಂತ ಕಿವಿಗೆ "ಕಿವಿಯೋಲೆ " ಜೋಡಿಸುತ್ತಾರೆ.......

ನೀರಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಮೀನಿನ ಹೆಜ್ಜೆ ಕಂಡುಹಿಡಿಯಬಹುದು ಆದರೆ ಹೆಣ್ಣಿನ ಹೆಜ್ಜೆಯ ಸಪ್ಪಳ ಕಂಡುಹಿಡಿಯೋಕೆ ಆಗಲ್ಲ ಅಂತ "ಗೆಜ್ಜೆ (ಚೈನ)  " ಹಾಕುತ್ತಾರೆ....!

ಅವಳ ಮನಸ್ಸು, ಅಹಂಕಾರದಿಂದ  ಅತೀರೇಕತೆಯಿಂದ ವರ್ತಿಸಬಾರದೆಂದು ಕುಂಕುಮ,ತಾಳಿ ಮದುವೆ ಅನ್ನೊ ಸಂಬಂಧದೊಳಗೆ ಬಂಧಿಸುತ್ತಾರೆ..........


ಆದರೆ ಗಂಡಸರಿಗೆ ಇದೆಲ್ಲಾ ಹಾಕದಿದ್ದರೂ "ಹೆಂಡತಿ" ಅನ್ನೊ ಒಂದು "ಮಹಾಕಾಳಿ " ಯನ್ನ ಮದುವೆ ರೂಪದಲ್ಲಿ ಬಳುವಳಿಯಾಗಿ  ಬದುಕಿನುದ್ದಕ್ಕೂ ಸಾಕಲು ನೀಡುತ್ತಾರೆ......! ಅಲ್ಲಿಗೆ ಗಂಡಸಿನ ಅಹಂ, ಜಂಭ, ರೋಷ, ಕೋಪ ಎಲ್ಲಾ ತಣ್ಣಗಾಗಿ......ನೀರಾಗಿರುತ್ತದೆ🙊😳🙈😓😞🚶🏼

(🙊ವಧುವೆ ಒಡವೆ ವರನಿಗೆ...🙊)
ಗೆಳೆತನ ಅನ್ನೋದು
ಕೈಗೂ ಕಣ್ಣಿಗೂ ಇರೋ
ಸಂಬಂಧದ ತರ.
ಕೈಗೆ ಪೆಟ್ಟಾದ್ರೆ ಕಣ್ಣು ಅಳುತ್ತೆ.
ಕಣ್ಣು ಅಳ್ತಾ ಇದ್ರೆ, ಕೈ ಕಣ್ಣಿರನ್ನ 
ಒರಸುತ್ತೆ ಅಲ್ವಾ.
ಇದೇ ನಿಜವಾದ ಗೆಳೆತನ.