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ThinkBangalore.com

Part 113 - Jokes , Fun , Haasya , Humor , Quotes , Greetings


Girl: naale nanna birthday
Part 113 - Jokes , Fun , Haasya , Humor , Quotes , Greetings
Boy: Advance happy birthday😘😘 Girl : en gift kodtya?😜😜☺ Boy: en beku? Girl : Ring kodtya?😍 Boy: Ok ring kodtini Receive madbeda Balance illla😜😁😁😂😂😎

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Two ladies were sentenced 14 yrs imprisonment.!
They spent 14 yrs together in a same cell of the prison.
After the punishment, when released, they stepped out n said to each other....
"Remaining things we'll talk in phone. Bye".!
😀😂😂😂😛😀😜

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Baby mosquito came back after its first flying... His Dad asked him, "How did U feel ?" 
He replied "It was wonderful Daddy... All humans clapped hands for me!" 

Moral :- Life is too Beautiful, it depends on our "way of thinking"..😊
                       ❤☮🎶
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Wife:-  देखो मैं इसे पिछले 7 साल से लगातार  पहन रही हूं 

फिर भी इसकी फिटिंग वैसी की वैसी ही है, और तुम मुझे  मोटी कहते रहते हो 

Husband:-  भगवान से डर  ...........😡😡😡😡

ये शॉल है......!! 

😜😝😛👌

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Pilot was welcoming the passengers on the plane shortly after take off........

"Thank you for flying with us this morning.

The weather is....." 

Then suddenly he starts screaming while he is still on the loud speakers: 

"Oh my God. OMG! OMG! OMG...... Its burning"

A ghostly Silence regained ! 

He gets back on the microphone talking to the passengers:

"I sincerely apologise for the incident but I just dropped a very hot cup of coffee on my lap...you should see my pants."

One passenger replies -

"Why don't you come here and see Our PANTS"!😡😳

*********

*_More Or Less_* 😂

 _Every HUSBAND Is Like A MOVIE_

*_Produced By Mother_*
*_And Directed By Wife_*

😂😂😂

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One day all the employees reached the office and saw a big advice written on the door.

"Yesterday the person who has been stopping your growth in this company passed away. You are invited to join the funeral."

In the beginning, they got sad for the death of one of their colleagues, but after a while they got curious to know who was the man who stopped their growth.

Everyone thought: 'Well at least the man who stopped my progress died!'

One by one the thrilled employees got closer to the coffin, and when they looked inside they were speechless. They stood shocked in silence, as if someone had touched the deepest part of their soul. There was a mirror inside the coffin and everyone who looked inside could see him/herself. 

There was a sign next to the mirror that read:
"There is only one person who is capable to set limits to your growth...It is you. You are the only person who can influence your happiness, success and realization."

Your life does not change when your boss, friend or company changes.....your life changes when you change...you go beyond your limiting beliefs and you realize you are the only one responsible for your life.
It's the way you face life that makes the difference!

If an egg is broken from outside force....life ends but if it is broken from inside force life begins. Great things always begin from our inside.👍
 👆worth reading....

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This one is an absolute killer😝

 An Indian Lady visited a Bar🍺 for the First Time, She Sat on the Table in Front of the Bar Tender..

A Guy on her Left side ordered: *"Jack Daniels, Single"*

A Guy on her Right Side ordered: *"Johnny Walker, Single"*

The Bar Tender Looked at the Lady & said: And You..??

Lady replied: *"Savitri Deshpande, Married.*
                😂😂😂😂

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Parents who accompanied their son for engineering college admission asked the college watchman,"Is this a good college?" 
watch man: "probably the best. I did my engineering here & got  campus placement 😝😂😝😂😂😂😂

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Vanilla Ice Cream that puzzled General motors’!!!!

An Interesting Story

Never underestimate your Clients' Complaint, no matter how funny it might
seem!

This is a real story that happened between the customer of General Motors
and its Customer-Care Executive. Pls read on.....

A complaint was received by the Pontiac Division of General Motors:

'This is the second time I have written to you, and I don't blame you for
not answering me, because I sounded crazy, but it is a fact that we have a
tradition in our family of Ice-Cream for dessert after dinner each night,
but the kind of ice cream varies so, every night, after we've eaten, the
whole family votes on which kind of ice cream we should have and I drive
down to the store to get it. It's also a fact that I recently purchased a
new Pontiac and since then my trips to the store have created a
problem.....

You see, every time I buy a vanilla ice-cream, when I start back from the
store my car won't start. If I get any other kind of ice cream, the car
starts just fine. I want you to know I'm serious about this question, no
matter how silly it sounds "What is there about a Pontiac that makes it not
start when I get vanilla ice cream, and easy to start whenever I get any
other kind?" The Pontiac President was understandably skeptical about the
letter, but sent an Engineer to check it out anyway.

The latter was surprised to be greeted by a successful, obviously well
educated man in a fine neighborhood. He had arranged to meet the man just
after dinner time, so the two hopped into the car and drove to the ice
cream store. It was vanilla ice cream that night and, sure enough, after
they came back to the car, it wouldn't start.

The Engineer returned for three more nights. The first night, they got
chocolate. The car started. The second night, he got strawberry. The car
started. The third night he ordered vanilla. The car failed to start.

Now the engineer, being a logical man, refused to believe that this man's
car was allergic to vanilla ice cream. He arranged, therefore, to continue
his visits for as long as it took to solve the problem. And toward this end
he began to take notes: He jotted down all sorts of data: time of day, type
of gas uses, time to drive back and forth etc.

In a short time, he had a clue: the man took less time to buy vanilla than
any other flavor. Why? The answer was in the layout of the store. Vanilla,
being the most popular flavor, was in a separate case at the front of the
store for quick pickup. All the other flavors were kept in the back of the
store at a different counter where it took considerably longer to check out
the flavor.

Now, the question for the Engineer was why the car wouldn't start when it
took less time. E..ureka - Time was now the problem - not the vanilla ice
cream!!!! The engineer quickly came up with the answer: "vapor lock".

It was happening every night; but the extra time taken to get the other
flavors allowed the engine to cool down sufficiently to start. When the man
got vanilla, the engine was still too hot for the vapor lock to dissipate.



Even crazy looking problems are sometimes real and all problems seem to be
simple only when we find the solution, with cool thinking.

Don't just say it is " IMPOSSIBLE" without putting a sincere effort....
What really matters is your attitude and your perception.

Moral of the Story "Try to Fix the Bug instead of making it as a Known
Issue"
Real Great Story.....!!!!!!!

*********

One day I had a fight with my Mom and shouted at her and did not have my lunch. I went out with my friends, and had food. Later, when I came back, I hesitated to face my Mom so I went to my room and started watching TV.

Then my Dad came to me and asked me why didn’t I have lunch.

I told him that I had food with my friends and didn't want to have food cooked by Mom as I fought with her.

He listened to what I said and then said to me , 'You know, I sometimes don’t like what your Mom says or what she does but have you seen me shouting at her or fighting with her ?'

I said, 'No.'

He said, 'If you or me or your sister fight with your Mom then we can go out with our friends or colleagues and have food, chill out and come back whenever we want. But have you ever thought of your Mom after you shout at her...? 
She will sit there and think for the whole day why you shouted at her and she will not have food for the whole day...
So think before you shout at her or fight with her, you have a whole world outside waiting to hangout with you but for her you, your sister and I are her world 🌎...

When any one of us shout at her, then her whole world gets wrecked. For you it’s just a matter of few seconds of anger so if you can suppress it for sometime, you can make her world a happy one...

Wishing *HAPPINESS* 
To all Great ladies ... whom we call *MOTHER, SISTER, WIFE...*

*********

Fire in the kitchen is neither good nor bad. When it cooks a meal for you, you bless the fire, and say: "How good it is!" And when it burns your finger, you say: "What a nuisance it is!" It would be equally correct and logical to say: This universe is neither good nor evil. The world is the world, and will be always so. If we open ourselves to it in such a manner that the action of the world is beneficial to us, we call it 'good'. If we put ourselves in the position, in which it is painful, we call it 'evil'.

Swami Vivekananda

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Wife - Lets go for a dinner tonight.

Husband (HR Manager) - Ok.

Husband - Should we go to a cheaper restaurant ? 

Wife - No. Let's go to Royal Palace hotel.

Husband - (silence for a minute) - Ok, See you at 7.O 'Clock.

On the way, around 6.30 pm...

Husband - Once upon a time, I had pani puri competition with my sister and she ate 30 pani-puris and defeated me.

Wife - What's so difficult in it?

Husband - Defeating me in Pani-puri eating competition is so difficult.

Wife - I can easily beat you.

Husband - Please leave it. It's not your cup of tea.

Wife - Let us have that competition right now.

Husband - So you want to see yourself defeated?

Wife - Let's see.

They both stop at a Pani-puri stall and start eating...

After about 30 Pani-puris the husband gave up. 

The wife was also full, but to defeat her husband, she ate one more and shouted, *"You lose."*

The bill was Rs 50/- and wife was back home and happy as she won the bet.

Moral of the Story...

*Main aim of a HR Manager is to satisfy employee with minimum investments. Winning attitude with less investment, ensuring strong Return On Investment!* 😃😜😀😄😆😅😂😝😎


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Principal asked one student to come on stage and talk something common about his classmates.

Student (on stage): Hey guys,
Isn't it crazy that all our parents conceived in the same year. 😂😂

Principal: Neeche utar 😤😤

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An inspirational story - whether true or not. 

This is the Confidence that Parents should be able to instill in their Children..

Worth Reading....

In the country of Armenia, in 1988, Samuel and Danielle sent their young son, Armand, off to school. Samuel squatted before his son🚶 and looked him in the eye. “Have a good day at school, and remember, no matter what, I’ll always be there for you.” They hugged and the boy ran off to school.

Hours later, a powerful earthquake rocked the area. In the midst of the pandemonium, Samuel and Danielle tried to discover what happened to their son🚶 but they couldn’t get any information. The radio announced that there were thousands of casualties. 

Samuel then grabbed his coat and headed for the schoolyard. When he reached the area, what he saw brought tears to his eyes. Armand’s school was a pile of debris. Other parents were standing around crying.

Samuel found the place where Armand’s classroom used to be and began pulling a broken beam off the pile of rubble. He then grabbed a rock and put it to the side, and then grabbed another one.

One of the parents looking on asked, “What are you doing?” “Digging for my son🚶,” Samuel answered. The man then said, “You’re just going to make things worse! The building is unstable,” and tried to pull Samuel away from his work.

Samuel set his jaw and kept working. As time wore on, one by one, the other parents left. Then a fire-fighter tried to pull Samuel away from the rubble. Samuel looked at him and said, “Won’t you help me?” The fire-fighter left and Samuel kept digging.

All through the night and into the next day, Samuel continued digging. Parents placed flowers and pictures of their children on the ruins. But, Samuel just kept working. He picked up a beam and pushed it out of the way when he heard a faint cry. “Help! Help!” Samuel listened but didn’t hear anything again. Then he heard a muffled voice, “Papa?”

Samuel began to dig furiously. Finally he could see his son🚶. “Come on out, son🚶!” he said with relief. “No,” Armand said. “Let the other kids come out first because I know you’ll get me.” Child after child emerged until, finally, little Armand appeared. Samuel took him in his arms and Armand said, “I told the other kids not to worry because you told me that you’d always be there for me!” 

Fourteen children were saved that day because one father was faithful.

Friends, whether trapped by fallen debris or ensnared by life’s hardships and struggles, we are never cut off from our Source.  Faith n Trust are our connection to the Source.

It's a PRIVILEGE being a parent, ENJOY each moment of it.
It's a RESPONSIBILITY being a parent, DO YOUR BEST.

Happy😇 being a PARENT!
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