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ThinkBangalore.com

Part 114 - Jokes , Fun , Haasya , Humor , Quotes , Greetings

An ultimate one

πŸ‘€ A husband  at famous book store : ”Do You have a book called, ‘Husband--the BOSS of the House’..?”

Sales Girl: “Sir, Comics are on the 1st floor....
Part 114 - Jokes , Fun , Haasya , Humor , Quotes , Greetings


πŸ˜†πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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*😳Project Manager* is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.
πŸ”†πŸŒ±πŸ”†πŸŒ±πŸ”†

*😳Procurement manager* is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.
πŸ”†πŸŒ±πŸ”†πŸŒ±πŸ”†

*😳Operations Manager* is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month if works harder.
πŸ”†πŸŒ±πŸ”†πŸŒ±πŸ”†

*😳Marketing Manager* is a person who convinces anyone that he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
πŸ”†πŸŒ±πŸ”†πŸŒ±πŸ”†

*😳Financial Budget* Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.
πŸ”†πŸŒ±πŸ”†πŸŒ±πŸ”†

*😳 Planning and Technical Team* thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.
πŸ”†πŸŒ±πŸ”†πŸŒ±πŸ”†

*😳Quality Manager/ Auditor* is the person who is never happy with a delivered baby.
πŸ”†πŸŒ±πŸ”†πŸŒ±πŸ”†

*😳HR Manager* is a person who thinks that... a Monkey can deliver a Human Baby - if given 9 Months.
πŸ”†πŸŒ±πŸ”†πŸŒ±πŸ”†

*😳Customer* is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby….!!!!!
πŸ”†πŸŒ±πŸ”†πŸŒ±πŸ”†.......      

πŸ˜œπŸ˜œπŸ˜œπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

 Dedicated  for all corporate guysπŸ‘

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The best joke heard in the recent years !!
Parents asked college watchman,"Is this a good college?" 
watch man: "probably the best. I did my engineering here & got  campus placement πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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At a wedding ceremony  the pastor asked if there was anyone who had any reason why the marriage shouldn't go on; it was time to stand up and speak, or forever let them hold  their  peace.
The moment of utter silence was interrupted by a young beautiful woman carrying a child. She started slowly walking toward the pastor.
 Everything quickly turned to chaos. The bride slapped the groom. The groom's mother fainted. The bridal trail scooted towards the door.The groom's men huddled  together  like a bereaved flock, wondering how best to help save the situation.
The pastor asked the woman, "Can you tell us why you came forward? What do you have to say?"
The woman replied, "I can't hear from the back." 
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

LESSON: Hold judgment  until you've  had all the facts. However, many times we  fire the shots  too quickly  and beautiful relationships are ruined.

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*πŸ’₯ A short story πŸ’₯*

*There once lived a great mathematician in a village outside Ujjain.* 
He was often called by the local king to advice on matters related to the economy.

His reputation had spread as far as Taxila in the North and Kanchi in the South. 
So it hurt him very much when the village headman told him, 
*"You may be a great mathematician who advises the king on economic matters but your son does not know the value of gold or silver."*

The mathematician called his son and asked, 
*"What is more valuable - gold or silver?"* 
*"Gold,"* said the son. 
*"That is correct. Why is it then that the village headman makes fun of you, claims you do not know the value of gold or silver ?* 
*He teases me every day. He mocks me before other village elders as a father who neglects his son. This hurts me. I feel everyone in the village is laughing behind my back because you do not know what is more valuable, gold or silver.* 
*Explain this to me, son."*

So the son of the mathematician told his father the reason why the village headman carried this impression, 
*"Every day on my way to school, the village headman calls me to his house. There, in front of all village elders, he holds out a silver coin in one hand and a gold coin in other. He asks me to pick up the more valuable coin. I pick the silver coin. He laughs, the elders jeer, everyone makes fun of me. And then I go to school. This happens every day. That is why they tell you I do not know the value of gold or silver."*

The father was confused. His son knew the value of gold and silver, and yet when asked to choose between a gold coin and silver coin always picked the silver coin. 
*"Why don't you pick up the gold coin?"* he asked.

*In response, the son took the father to his room and showed him a box. In the box were at least a hundred silver coins.*
Turning to his father, the mathematician' s son said,
*"The day I pick up the gold coin the game will stop. They will stop having fun and I will stop making money."*

The bottom line is :
*Sometimes in life, we have to play the fool because our seniors and our peers, and sometimes even our juniors like it.*
*That does not mean we lose in the game of life.*

*It just means allowing others to win in one arena of the game, while we win in the other arena of the game.*
*We have to choose which arena matters to us and which arenas do not.*
πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ™πŸ™πŸ‘

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Wife to hubby: Darling in pictures of Shiva-Parvati, Shiva has a Trishool.

In pictures of Vishnu-Lakshmi, Vishnu has Chakra in hand and pictures of Rama-Sita, Rama has bow in hand.

But in case of Krishna-Radha, he has flute in hand. Why is this?
😳😳😳😳

Hubby: You see dear the three God's whom you mentioned first are with the wives. That is why they have weapons.
Krishna is with his girlfriend. Hence no weapons required. This shows when it comes to dealing with wives, even Gods need protection.
πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜œπŸ˜†πŸ˜πŸ˜„πŸ˜

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*Whatsapp group results are out...which one are you*❓


*1. Whatsapp Rooster:*    πŸ˜€
     Everyday wishing    
     Everyone good 
     morning and waking  
     them up is their      
     favorite job ...they go  
     quiet after this.

*2. Whatsapp Baba :* 🀒
    They send only  
     messages of God and 
     give discourses.

*3. WhatsappThief :* πŸ‘»
     They copy other  
      messages and forward 
      them.

*4 . Whatsapp Devadas :* πŸ€“
     They always send 
      painful and sad 
       messages and  
       poems....and make  
       everyone else sad.

*5. Whatsapp news reporter :* 😎
     They update everyone  
     about what's 
     happening in the world.

*6. Whatsapp Vidushak :* πŸ€—
     No matter how sad  
      their life is they keep 
       replying to everyone  
       and keep laughing.

*7. Whatsapp Mauni Baba:* 😷
     They read everyone's  
      messages silently but 
      never reply...many are 
      unaware these people 
      exist in the group.

*8. Whatsapp Thinkers :*πŸ˜‡
    They try to change  
    people by sending good   
     purposeful messages.

*9. Whatsapp Poets n Singers :*✍🏻
    These people don't  
     know anything about
     poems, they will be      
     worst singers still  
     expect the group 
     listen and bore  
     others with their  
      torturous hobby.

*10. Whatsapp Chatter :* πŸ˜‹
      They are not interested   
       in anything other than 
       chatting...they are  
       always online.

*11. Whatsapp monkey :*🀦‍♂
       They never reply...only      
       say haha..hehe.

*12 . Whatsapp Collector :* πŸ™…πŸΌ‍♂
        They only join but   
         never message.

*13.Whatsapp All Rounder :*πŸ’πŸΌ‍♂
      They express their   
       opinion on anything   
       and everything. They  
       know about    
       everything and try to   
       elevate the over all   
       mood. 

All of us belong to at least one of the categories...πŸ˜€πŸ˜„πŸ˜ƒ

Share it Enjoy itπŸ˜†

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This is really cracker.

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜€Hospital Special πŸ˜€πŸ˜‚

A woman called up Apollo hospital and asked~
"I want to know if the patient Rita Mehta in Room No 1438 is getting better??"
.
The RMO replied,
 "She is doing very well. She had her first solid meal today, her blood pressure is fine and if she continues improving she might even be sent home in a couple of days!"
.
The woman said, 
"Thank God! 
That's wonderful news!"

RMO:
" I take it you must be a family member or a close friend!"
.
Woman: 
"No...no... 
I am Rita Mehta. No one tells me anything here !"

πŸ’πŸ˜‚

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πŸ‘¨πŸ» father     : father in law 
πŸ‘©πŸ» mother   : mother in law
πŸ‘ΆπŸ» son          : son in law
πŸ‘§πŸ» daughter : daughter in law
πŸ‘¦πŸ» brother   : brother in law
πŸ‘±πŸ»‍♀ sister       : sister in law

πŸ‘΅πŸ» wife          : ????

*She Is The Law* 

       πŸ˜€πŸ˜‚πŸ˜œ
πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ˜‡πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘
Dedicated to all married friends

πŸ‘΄πŸ» Husband    : ?????

_Follow the Law_ 🀣

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