Part 140 - Jokes , Fun , Haasya , Humor , Quotes , Greetings

बीवी रसगुल्ले खा रही थी 
पति बोला मुझे भी taste कराओ
Part 140 Collection of fun filled jokes , humor , quotes , greetings
बीवी ने एक रसगुल्ला दे दिया पति : बस एक बीवी हाँ, बाकी सबका भी ऐसा ही Taste है। 😂😂😂
दो पागल छत पर 
सो रहे थे
अचानक बारिश होने लगी
पहला बोला -चल अन्दर चलते हे। आसमान मे छेद हो गया हे।
इतने मे बिजली कडकी+
दुसरा पागल -
चल सो जा अब
वेलडिगं वाले आ गए हैं 😂😂😂😂
You can't beat this-! 

Teacher : What came 1st Sun or Moon ??? ☀🌙 

Santa:Obvioslys Moon❗

Teacher: How ❔

Santa: Madam ji Honey'moon' hoga tabhi to 'Son' ☀ayega na !
Teacher is still in coma 😜😂😀😝  --
*💐Excellent Definition For Life: "Life means, Missing expected things & facing unexpected things..."*
*🌺The Less You Respond To Negative People, The More Peaceful Your Life Will Become.*
*🌹A Bitter Truth Of Life: -  Life is a compromise, without sugarcoating the truth.*
*🌷The Truth Is You Don't Know What Is Going To Happen Tomorrow. Life Is A Crazy Ride, And Nothing Is Guaranteed.* 
Latest Hospitality Tips:

1) When guest comes to ur home & instead of asking for water, if u ask "Do u want to charge ur mobile?", it'll definitely bring tear to their eyes & improve relationship immediately. 😂😁😃

2) After that, instead of asking if they want tea/coffee/cold drink, if u ask them "Do u want Wi-Fi password for Internet",  100%guaranteed the guest'll break down & give u the best hug of ur life. 😉😊😂😄😃

A man thanked God for giving him a good wife.He asked God,"why did u make my wife so loving & caring?"
God replied: *"so that u love her"*The man further asked:"Why did u make her so beautiful and gorgeous❓
God replied: *"so that u love her"*The man again asked:"Why did u make her an amazing cook"
God replied: *"so that u love her"*The man then angrily asked: "But then why did u make her such a fool❓
God said: *"so that she can love you too...!* 

All wives ROCK👍👍👍👍😄
*💐Life is so ironic to understand fully it takes sadness to know what is happiness.*
*🌺Your LIFE is a PUZZLE, don’t waste your time trying to place ppl where they don’t fit.*
*🌹Time is like money: you can either spend, waste, or invest!*
*🌷Where there is righteous in the heart there is beauty in the character. Where there is beauty in the character there is harmony in the home. Where there is harmony in the home there is order in the nation.  Where is order in nation there is peace in the world. Let's all prayer for righteous of the heart.*
💥ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆಪತ್ರಿಕೆಯೊಂದರ ಉತ್ತರ💥
🎯ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆ:- ಹದಿನೈದು ಹಣ್ಣುಗಳ ಹೆಸರುಬರೆಯಿರಿ?
✏ಉತ್ರ:- ಮೂಸಂಬಿ, ಕಲ್ಲಂಗಡಿ, ಆಪಲ್ ಮತ್ತು ಒಂದು ಡಜನ್ ಬಾಳೆಹಣ್ಣು
🎯ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆ:- ಪ್ರಪಂಚದಲ್ಲಿ ಒಟ್ಟು ಎಷ್ಟುದೇಶಗಳಿವೆ?
✏ಉತ್ರ: - ಪ್ರಪಂಚದಲ್ಲಿ ಇರೋದು ಒಂದೇ ದೇಶ,ಅದು ಭಾರತ... ಮಿಕ್ಕಿದ್ದೆಲ್ಲಾ ವಿದೇಶ.
🎯ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆ:- ವಾಸ್ಕೋಡಿಗಾಮ ಭಾರತಕ್ಕೆ ಯಾಕೆ ಬಂದ?
✏ಉತ್ರ:- ನನ್ನ ಫೇಲ್ ಮಾಡೋಕ್ಕೆ
🎯ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆ:- ಕಾಯಿಸಿದಾಗ ಘನ ವಸ್ತುವಾಗಿ ಪರಿವರ್ತನೆ ಹೊಂದುವ
ದ್ರವ ಯಾವುದು?
✏ಉತ್ರ: - ಇಡ್ಲಿ, ದೋಸೆ
🎯ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆ:- 1983ರ ಕ್ರಿಕೆಟ್ ವಿಶ್ವಕಪ್ ಯಾರಿಗೆ ಸಿಕ್ತು?
✏ಉತ್ರ: - ಗೆದ್ದವರಿಗೆ
🎯ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆ:- ಕ್ರಿಕೆಟ್ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಅತೀ ಚಿಕ್ಕದಾದ ಒಂದು ಪ್ರಬಂಧ ಬರೆಯಿರಿ
✏ಉತ್ರ:- ಮಳೆ ಬಂದ ಕಾರಣ ಪಂದ್ಯವನ್ನು ರದ್ದುಗೊಳಿಸಲಾಗಿದೆ
🎯ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆ:- ಮಹಾತ್ಮ ಗಾಂಧೀಜಿ ಸಾಯದೇ ಇದ್ದಿದ್ದರೆ?
✏ಉತ್ರ:- ಈಗಲೂ ಬದುಕಿರುತ್ತಿದ್ದರು.
🎯ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆ:- ಕ್ಲೋರೈಡ್ ಅನ್ನು ಕಾಯಿಸಿದಾಗ ಏನಾಗುತ್ತದೆ?
✏ಉತ್ರ:- ಕಾಯುತ್ತದೆ.
🎯ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆ:- ಮೊಗಲರು ಎಲ್ಲಿಯವರೆಗೆ ರಾಜ್ಯಭಾರ ಮಾಡಿದರು?
✏ಉತ್ರ:- ಸುಮಾರು 14ನೇ ಪುಟದಿಂದ 22ನೇ ಪುಟಗಳವರೆಗೆ
🎯ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆ:- ನೀರಿನಿಂದ ಯಾಕೆ ಕರೆಂಟ್ ತೆಗೀತಾರೆ?
✏ಉತ್ರ:-ಸ್ನಾನ ಮಾಡೋವಾಗ ಶಾಕ್ ಹೊಡೆಯುತ್ತೆ ಅಂತ!
🎯ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆ:- ಮಾತು ಬರದವರನ್ನು ಮೂಗ ಎಂದು ಕರೆದರೆ, ಕಿವಿ
ಕೇಳಿಸದವನನ್ನು ಹೇಗೆ ಕರೆಯುತ್ತಾರೆ?
✏ಉತ್ರ:- ಹೇಗೆ ಬೇಕಾದರೂಕರೆಯಬಹುದು, ಏಕೆಂದರೆ ಅವರಿಗೆ ಕೇಳಿಸಲ್ಲ.
*🌹Life is a SEA. Heart is d ISLAND & Friends r WAVES. It doesn't matter how many WAVES are in the SEA. But it matters, which WAVE touches d ISLAND!*
*🌷Fight for your dreams  and dreams will fight for you.*
*🌺In the walk of life, don't worry of people moving ahead of you. Take ur own time, but once u r ready to run,  make sure u r the best of all! Gud Day!*
*🍀Life is the toughest school. U never know what class you are in, what exam u`ll have next and u can`t cheat bcoz nobody else has the same question paper.*
A 50 year old lady, who suddenly started learning how to swim instead of her usual routine work of going to a temple !!!! 

Everyone was curious and asked her:  "why the change in your interest to swimming now a days?"

The lady, with a look of helplessness replied: "Whenever my son and daughter-in-law quarrel each other She ( Daughter-in-law)  always asks my son : - "If your mom and I fall in water, whom will you save first?"

And because I do not want to put my son in a difficult position, so I am learning how to swim!"

A few days later husband and wife were quarrelling again, and the daughter-in-law unreasonably asked:  " now tell me! If your mom and I fall in water, whom will you save first?"

Husband replied: 
"I don't have to get down in the water, my mom knows how to swim, she will save you."

Wife refused to relent: "No, you have to jump in the water, and have to save one of us"

Husband replied: "Then you will surely die.... because I don't know how to swim .... and my mom will definitely save me first."
Banta - Have you ever seen a lie detector?

Santa- Yes, I am married to her... 😀😀
A Punjabi went to a restaurant in China.

*Chinese Waiter:*  Sir, I have Stewed Liver, Boiled Tongue and Frog's Legs.

*Punjabi:*  Yaar tu apni problems chhod, Menu Card le aa!

Difference between a Guru and a Teacher!!!!!!!

1. A teacher takes responsibility for your growth.
A Guru makes you responsible for your growth.

2.A teacher gives you things you do not have and require.
A Guru takes away things you have and do not require.

3. A teacher answers your questions.
A Guru questions your answers.

4. A teacher requires obedience and discipline from the pupil.
A Guru requires trust and humility from the pupil.

5. A teacher clothes you and prepares you for the outer journey.
A Guru strips you naked and prepares you for the inner journey.

6. A teacher is a guide on the path.
A Guru is a pointer to the way.

7. A teacher sends you on the road to success.
A Guru sends you on the road to freedom.

8. A teacher explains the world and its nature to you.
A Guru explains yourself and your nature to you.

9. A teacher gives you knowledge and boosts your ego.
A Guru takes away your knowledge and punctures your ego.

10. A teacher instructs you.
A Guru constructs you.

11. A teacher sharpens your mind.
A Guru opens your mind.

12. A teacher reaches your mind.
A Guru touches your spirit.

13. A teacher instructs you on how to solve problems.
A Guru shows you how to resolve issues.

14. A teacher is a systematic thinker.
A Guru is a lateral thinker.

15. One can always find a teacher.
But a Guru has to find and accept you.

16. A teacher leads you by the hand.
A Guru leads you by example.

17.When a teacher finishes with you, you celebrate.
When a Guru finishes with you, life celebrates.

Let us honor both, the teachers and the Guru in our lives...
A cop👲🏼 stops a drunk😵 man and asks " *How high are you ?*"

The drunk😵 man replies. 
" *That is wrong English. You should say 'Hi, how are you'* '"

Husband : Last night in your sleep you were using abusive language against me. 

Wife :  That was your imagination. 

Husband : What imagination? 

Wife : That I was asleep.....
*💐Never Hate Jealous People They Are Jealous Bcoz They Think U Are Better Than Them...!*
*🌹Memories Behave In A Crazy Way. They Leave U Alone When U Are In A Crowd, And When U Are Alone They Stand With U Like A Crowd..!*
*🌺Har Bar Insan Hi Bura Nahi Hotaa. Kabhi Kabhi Waqt Bhi Bura Hota Hai..!!*
*🌷The best feeling in the world is realizing that you’re perfectly happy where you are, without the thing you thought you needed to be happy.*
एक बार गाँव का सरदार गाड़ी में 🚘 अपने मित्रों के साथ पिकनिक पर जा रहा था।

गाड़ी के सामने के काँच से मित्रों को कुछ भी दिखाई नहीं दे रहा था। 😟 लेकि सरदार सड़क के तमाम गड्ढे बचाता हुआ बड़ी सफाई से गाडी चला रहा था।

मित्रों ने हैरान होकर पूछा---" सरदार, सामने काँच से कुछ भी साफ़ नजर नहीं आ रहा। फिर भी गाड़ी इतनी परफेक्ट कैसे चला रहे हो ? "😧😧😧
सरदार -" क्या बताऊँ यारों ? अपनी भूलने की आदत के कारण अब तक मेरे 1760 चश्मे गुम चुके हैं। "☺

मित्र---" अरे सरदार हम ड्राइविंग के बारे में पूछ रहे हैं। "😣😠

सरदार -" वही तो बता रहा हूँ।😜 चश्मे बनवा बनवा कर मैं हैरान परेशान हो गया तब......
गाड़ी का काँच ही चश्मे के नंबर वाला बनवाकर गाड़ी में लगवा लिया। "
*💐Whenever u r Depressed, Confused or Hurt, Don’t Worry!  Stand in front of d mirror & you’ll find d Best Person who’ll solve all ur problems! TRUST YOURSELF..*
*🌹Don’t think of d few things that u didn’t get 4m god after praying!  Think of all those countless beautiful things that he gave u without even asking!*
*🌷Beautiful pictures r developed by negatives in dark room!  So if u c darkness in life, believe that God is making a Beautiful picture for u!!*
*🌺The joy that u give to others is d joy that flows back into ur life!  A happy heart makes a cheerful face! May all ur days b as lovely as ur heart..*
Daughter: What is Marriage?Mom: Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown Male child who cannot be handled by his Parents anymore"...😱😏😜

Changed version in market
Son: What is Marriage?
Father: Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown Female child whose Expenses cannot be handled by her Parents anymore"...😝😂😜
Sardar  had  a  leak  in  the  roof  over  his dining  table . 💧

Plumber  asked :::::>- " Sir  when  did  you
   notice  it " ❓❓👳

Sardar :>-" Last  night
          when   it   took  
         me   3  hours  to
        finish   my  soup ".
An Old man goes to an Audiologist for his hearing problem. Audiologist gives him a nice powerful hearing aid. 

A month later the old man goes back for check up. The Audiologist asks him how is the hearing now. He says it's marvellous. 

So your family must  be very pleased says the Audiologist.  

Old man answers : Haven't told the family about my hearing aid. I just sit and listen to everyone's conversation.  In last one month I have changed my WILL 5 times 
Best Slogans.....

1. Sign on a railway station at Patna :
*Aana free, jaana free, pakde gaye to khaana free*

2. Sign on a famous beauty parlor in Mumbai :
*Don't whistle at the girl going out from here. She may be your grandmother*

3. Sign on a bulletin board :
*Success is relative, More the success, More the relatives*

4. Sign at a barber's saloon in Juhu, Mumbai :
*We need your heads to run our business*

5. A traffic slogan :
*Don't let your kids drive if they are not old enough or else they will never be old*

*It's God's responsibility to forgive the terrorist organizations. It's our responsibility to arrange the meeting between them & God*
*💐No one can win a game of Chess by moving forward only. Sometimes one has to move backward also to get a get a better move!*
*🌹Hope is wishing something would happen; Faith is believing something will happen; Courage is making something happen!*
*🌷Often when we lose hope and think this is the end, God smiles from the above and says, "Relax dear, it's just a bend and not the end"!*
*🌺Stones come in our way as hurdles but once we pass them, they automatically become our milestones!*