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ThinkBangalore.com

Part 130 - Jokes , Fun , Haasya , Humor , Quotes , Greetings


*🌹Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.*
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*🍒Gurur me dube samundar ko bhi kaha pata tha ki vo ek din banjar ran ban jaega. Jab usaka gurur nahi tika to hum or aap kya he bhai.*
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*🌺Life is a difficult than a teacher. .A teacher teaches a lesson & then takes the exam. But life takes the exam first & then teaches the lesson.*
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*🌷Life has no pause buttons. Dreams has no expiry date. Time has no holiday. So don't waste a single moment in ur life. Just love it live it.*
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Story from an IT guy...
Part 130 - Jokes , Fun , Haasya , Humor , Quotes , Greetings
I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that I would do something crazy So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker (who's a sardar) asked me what I was doing. I told him that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss might think I was 'Crazy' and give me a few days off. A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, 'What in the name of good GOD are you doing?' I told him I was a light bulb. He said, 'You are clearly stressed out.' Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.' I jumped down and walked out of the office.... When my co-worker (the sardar) followed me, Boss asked him, ‘And where do you think you're going?! (You're gonna love this....) He said, 'I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark !!😝😝😝

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*🌷One thing I Learned From MS OFFICE: “Either Be BOLD Or Be ITALIC” Because, The World Doesn’t Notice The “REGULAR ONES”…*
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*💐The first to apologize is the bravest, the first to forgive is the strongest, and the first to forget is the happiest.*
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*🌹Hanns marte hue bhi gata hai, aur Mor nachte huye bhi rota hai,  Ye zndgi ka rule hai. Dukh wali raat neend nahi aati, aur Khusi wali raat kaun sota hai…*
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*🌺Winning horse does not know why it runs the race. It runs because of beats & pains. Life is a race. God is your rider. So if u r in pain then think,God wants you to win.*
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*🌷Life is like rowing a boat in the sea. No matter how lost you are, the hope of reaching a shore is what will keep you going. while giving up is a sure shot way of drowning.*
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*🌹"जीवन" मे"तकलीफ़"उसी को आती है जो हमेशा जवाबदारी उठाने को तैयार रहते है.!! और जवाबदारी लेने वाले कभी हारते नही, या तो"जीतते"है, या फिर"सिखते"है!!"*
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*🍁Create a life that feels good on the inside, not one that simply looks good from the outside!*
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*🌻The secret of being happy is accepting where you are in life and making the most out of everyday.*
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A young boy goes off to college. Half way through the semester, having foolishly squandered all his money .... he calls home.

"Dad" he says, "You won't believe what modern education is developing!
They actually have a program here in Indian Institute of Management, Ahmedabad (IIMA) that will teach our dog, Moti, how to talk!"

"That's amazing," his father says. "How do I get Moti in that program?"

"Just send him down here with Rs. 1,00,000" the young boy says "and I'll get him in the course."

So, his father sends the dog and Rs. 1,00,000. About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home.

"So how's Moti doing son?" his father asks.

"Awesome, dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this -- they've had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!"

"Read ??" says his father, "No kidding! How do we get Moti in that program?"

"Just send Rs.2,00,000, I'll get him in the class."
 
The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem.
At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read. So he shoots the dog. When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited.

"Where's Moti? I just can't wait to see him read something and talk!"

"Dad" the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Moti was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading The Economic Times, like he usually does. Then Moti turned to me and asked, so, is your father still having an affair with that pretty Champaa mausi 💃🏻who lives down the street ?"

The father went white and exclaimed, "I hope you shot that son of a bitch before he talks to your Mother!"😡

"I sure did, dad!

"That's my boy!"

The kid went on to law school, and is now a noted Lawyer.

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Husband: Now second person helmet compulsory rule has been applied.

Wife: Next weekend we have to buy helmets for all my matching dresses. 

Husband sold his bike.

😂😂😂

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*💐The ability to be calm in volatile situations is one of the key personality traits of all successful people. But to be calm, you need to control your anger first.*
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*🌷Don't mistake ur sweet persons, if they are angry with you. Bcoz, anger is the easiest and childish way to express the deep love.*
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*🌹'Daali par baitha parinda daali ki kamzori se nahi darta kyun ki usko daali par nahi apne pankho par pura vishwas hota hai'. 'SO ALWAYS BELIEVE IN YOURSELF'.*
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*🌺Agar Kuch Sikhna Hi Hai To Aankho Ko PadhnaSikh Lo..!! Warna Lafzo K Matlab To Hazaaro Niklte Hai..*

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In heaven God told all husbands & wives to gather for a meeting! 
He told the men to stand in two queues... 
Those who are controlled by their wives & those who control their wives! 

Only 1 man stood in d second Queue... 

God said "So you control ur wife?" 

Man: "R u CRAZY ??? 
My wife told me to stand here"😂😂😂...

Lol😂😂😂
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A Junior in office dialled his boss's extension by mistake & said:
Hey, send a coffee in my cabin in 2 min ☕
Boss Shouted: Do u know whom u r talking 2? 😡
Jr : No!
Boss: I'm the BOSS 👺
Jr (in same tone): do u know whom u r talking to?
Boss: No!
Jr : THANK GOD (& disconnected) 😃😃😃

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If Flipkart starts matrimonial services 👬, they will become the No.1 site in the world 🌎 because they have a 30 day return 💫policy no questions asked 
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Killer.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🔪🔪🔪
KEEP LAUGHING !

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Thought for the Day

"You didn’t choose your parents. You didn’t choose where and when you were born. You didn’t choose your name. You didn’t choose your tribe or colour. Democracy didn't work in all of that! But the good news is, none of that has the power to determine what and who you can be! You and only you can determine the kind of future you want to have. So, stop blaming others and take personal responsibility for your life! You give your power away if you resort to blaming others. Channel your energy to focusing on your unique talents and abilities. Start thinking and working in a new direction, in a positive way and you will be amazed at what you can really do with your life. You can do it. I BELIEVE IN YOU!"

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लड़का: I Love you..

लड़की: दारु छोड़ सकते हो मेरे लिए?

लड़का: हाँ हाँ, बिल्कुल छोड़ दूँगा ...

लड़की: जो इंसान दारु छोड़ सकता है, वो किसी को भी छोड़ सकता है... Bye, and get lost!!

लड़का: 😲😬😟

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आत्म हत्याएें दो तरह की होती हैं---

पहली ( तेज और आसान )
गले में रस्सी डालो और पंखे से लटक जाओ|

दूसरी ( धीमी और दर्दनाक )
गले में वरमाला डालो और जिन्दगी भर लटके रहो |
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One more innovative board sign Outside CST railway  station
 …
*Have a ticket* ? -- *Good* !!
*Dont have a ticket ? -- FINE*!

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TB - Pai: *Best joke:*

She: Do you have a girlfriend..?
HE: No.  Had one.
She: What happened?
He: She ransomware 😂

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*ಮಣಿ:* ಹೇರ್ ಕಟಿಂಗ್ ಮಾಡಪ್ಪಾ.. 💇🏼‍♂

*ಅಂಗಡಿಯವ:* ಯಾವ ಸ್ಟೈಲ್ ಮಾಡ್ಲಿ ಸಾರ್ ? 

*ಮಣಿ:* ಸ್ಟೈಲು ಗೀಲು ಬೇಡಪ್ಪಾ, ಹೆಂಡತಿ ಕೈಗೆ ಕೂದಲು ಸಿಗಬಾರದು ಅಷ್ಟೇ..  🤷🏾‍♂🤺

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*🌹Don't Compare Ur Life To Others, 
Bcoz There's No Comparison Between The Sun And The Moon, They Shine When It's Their Time!*
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*🌺दो तथ्य आपके व्यक्तित्व को  परिभाषित करते हैं :- आपका धैर्य जब आपके पास कुछ न हो |   आपका व्यवहार जब आपके पास सब कुछ हो..!*
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*🍀Yadi Tumhe Koi Nazar Andaz Karta Hai,
To Bura Mat Manna,
Log Aksar Bardasht Se Bahar, Mehangi Chiz Ko Nazar Andaz Kar Deta Hai...*
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*🌷Happiness Does Not Have A Price Tag... So Smile.*

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*💐Get inspired from others but don't follow the queue. Let us Live our life in our own unique style & we will see people getting inspired n following us. Always believe that the best is yet to come.*
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*🌹Talent will take us to  high position in our career. But character  will help us to maintain  high position in the hearts of others...!!!* 
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*🌷I wish life was a remote. Play the easy times. Pause the good times. Fast forward the bullshit. Rewind the memories.*
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*🌺New day new blessing. Don’t let yesterdays failures ruin the beauty of today, because each day has its own promise of love, joy, forgiveness…..*
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*A person asked a question to his Guru, "My workers are not true to me. My children, my wife and the entire world is very selfish. No body is correct."*

*Guru smiled and told a story...,*

*In one small village there was a room with 1000 mirrors. One small girl used to go inside and play.! Seeing thousands of children around her she was joyful.* 
 
*She would clap her hands and all the 1000 children would clap back at her*

*She considered this place as the world's happiest n beautiful place and would visit often.*

*This same place was once visited by a sad n a depressed person.*

*He saw around him thousands of angry men staring at him*

*He got scared and raised his hands to hit them and in return 1000 hands lifted to hit him back.*
 
*He thought... this is the worst place in the world and left that place.*

*This world is also a room with 1000 mirrors around you... What we let out of us is what the universe will give back to us.!!*

*"This world is a heaven. Or Hell.. It's up to us what we make out of it..."  said the Guru....*

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*💐Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other - Abraham Lincoln*
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*🌹"A little step may be the beginning of a great journey". हौसला होना चाहिए, ज़िन्दगी कहीं से भी शुरू की जा सकती है।*
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*🌷“An average person, lies 10 times a day. And the most common lie is “I AM FINE”.*
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*🌺A Person who Walks on his Legs reaches his Destination. But A Person who Walks with his Faith & Confidence Creates his Destiny...!!!*
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*🍀Death is sure to defeat us  why  should we not win over Life ?*
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*🌷When We have Choices, Lets Choose the Best. When We have No Choices, Lets Do Our Best...*
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*🌹Life is a puzzle game, you just need to find the right pieces.*
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*🍒Zindgi Kabi Mushkil To Kabi Aasan Hoti Hai, Kabi Uff To Kabi Aah Hoti Hai.  Na Bhulna Apni Muskuraahat Ko, Kyuki Isi Se Mushkil Aasan Hoti Hai..!*
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*🌷Relationships Ought to be like AIR, Silent But Always Around. Not Like RAIN which Comes & Goes Away.*
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*🌺Thought for  the day: Opportunity dances with those who are already on the dance floor.*
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*🌹"Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent. Never stop trying . Be Positive, think Positive."*
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*💐We Can’t Stop Troubles From Coming Towards Us, But.. We Can Make Sure We Do Not Offer Them Chair To Sit On....*
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*Kafka and the Doll, The Pervasiveness of Loss*

Franz Kafka, the story goes, encountered a little girl in the park where he went walking daily. She was crying. She had lost her doll and was desolate.

Kafka offered to help her look for the doll and arranged to meet her the next day at the same spot.

 Unable to find the doll he composed a letter from the doll and read it to her when they met.

'Please do not mourn me, I have gone on a trip to see the world. I will write you of my adventures.' This was the beginning of many letters. When he and the little girl met he read her from these carefully composed letters the imagined adventures of the beloved doll. The little girl was comforted.

When the meetings came to an end Kafka presented her with a doll. She obviously looked different from the original doll. An attached letter explained 'My travels have changed me.'

Many years later, the now grown girl found a letter stuffed into an unnoticed crevice in the cherished replacement doll.

In summary it said
*Every thing that you love, you will eventually lose, but in the end, love will return in a different form.'*

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