-->
🏠 🔍 ❤ 👍
ThinkBangalore.com

Part 137 - Jokes , Fun , Haasya , Humor , Quotes , Greetings

Part 137 - Jokes , Fun , Haasya , Humor , Quotes , Greetingsसंता: आज रात मैं नहीं सोऊंगा!

बंता: क्यों?
.
संता: क्योंकि कल रात ख्वाब में मेरी किसी से लड़ाई हो गई थी! आज वो बंदे ले कर आयेगा!
😂😂😂😂😂
मार थोड़ी खानी है.

*********

*मुहावरो के आधुनिक अर्थ ...*


**. खुद की जान खतरे में डालना*
    = शादी करना
**. आ बैल मुझे मार*
     = पत्नी से पंगा लेना 
**. दीवार से सर फोड़ना*
    = पत्नी को कुछ समझाना
**. चार दिन की चांदनी वही अँधेरी रात*
    = पत्नी का मायके से वापस आना
**. आत्म हत्या के लिए प्रेरित करना*
    = शादी की राय देना
**. दुश्मनी निभाना*
    = दोस्तों की शादी करवाना
**. खुद का स्वार्थ देखना*
    = शादी ना करना
** पाप की सजा मिलना*
    = शादी हो जाना
**. ओखली में सिर देना*
       = शादी के लिए हाँ करना
 **. लव मैरिज करना*
    = खुद से युद्ध करने को योद्धा ढूंढना
 **. जिंदगी के मज़े लेना*
      = कुँवारा रहना

*********

*🌹When God leaves U at d edge of a Cliff, Trust Him!  One of the two things will happen!   Either He’ll catch u when u fall.. Or He’ll teach u how to fly!!*
💦💧💦💧💦🔹💦💧💦💧💦
*🌺The greatest people of the world have always stood alone. Few people have courage to appear as good as they really are!*
💦💧💦💧💦🔹💦💧💦💧💦
*🌷If you can’t be star in the sky, at least be a lamp at home.*
💦💧💦💧💦🔹💦💧💦💧💦
*🌻"PRACTICE to see atleast one GOOD thing in every PERSON you MEET & SEE yourself TRANSFORMING..!"*
💦💧💦💧💦🔹💦💧💦💧💦

*********

Great Albert Einstein Stories:

(1)One day during a speaking tour, Albert Einstein's driver, who often sat at the back of the hall during his lectures, remarked that he could probably give the lecture himself, having heard it so many times. Sure enough, at the next stop on the tour, Einstein and the driver switched places, with Einstein sitting at the back in his driver's uniform. Having delivered a flawless lecture, the driver was asked a difficult question by a member of the audience. "Well, the answer to that question is quite simple," he casually replied. "I bet my driver, sitting up at the back there, could answer it!"

(2)   Albert Einstein's wife often suggested that he dress more professionally when he headed off to work. "Why should I?" he would invariably argue. "Everyone knows me there." When the time came for Einstein to attend his first major conference, she begged him to dress up a bit. "Why should I?" said Einstein. "No one knows me there!"

(3)Albert Einstein was often asked to explain the general theory of relativity. "Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour," he once declared. "Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity!"

(4)When Albert Einstein was working in Princeton university, one day he was going back home he forgot his home address. The driver of the cab did not recognize him. Einstein asked the driver if he knows Einstein's home. The driver said "Who does not know Einstein's address? Everyone in Princeton knows.Do you want to meet him?. Einstein replied "I am Einstein. I forgot my home address, can you take me there? "The driver reached him to his home and did not even collect his fare from him.

(5)Einstein was once traveling from Princeton on a train when the conductor came down the aisle, punching the tickets of every passenger. When he came to Einstein, Einstein reached in his vest pocket. He couldn't find his ticket, so he reached in his trouser pockets. It wasn't there, so he looked in his briefcase but couldn't find it. Then he looked in the seat beside him. He still couldn't find it.

The conductor said, 'Dr. Einstein, I know who you are. We all know who you are. I'm sure you bought a ticket. Don't worry about it.' Einstein nodded appreciatively. The conductor continued down the aisle punching tickets. As he was ready to move to the next car, he turned around and saw the great physicist down on his hands and knees looking under his seat for his ticket.

The conductor rushed back and said, 'Dr. Einstein, Dr. Einstein, don't worry, I know who you are. No problem. You don't need a ticket. I'm sure you bought one.' Einstein looked at him and said, 'Young man, I too, know who I am. What I don't know is where I'm going.'

6) When Einstein met Charlie Chaplin:

Einstein said, "What I admire most about your art, is its universality. You do not say a word, and yet ... the world understands you."
“It's true,” replied Charlie Chaplin, "But your fame is even greater: The world admires you, when nobody understands you.

*********

*💐The Less You Respond To Negative People, The More Peaceful Your Life Will Become.*
💦💧💦💧💦🔹💦💧💦💧💦
*🌹The Truth Is You Don't Know What Is Going To Happen Tomorrow. Life Is A Crazy Ride, And Nothing Is Guaranteed.*
💦💧💦💧💦🔹💦💧💦💧💦
*🌷A Bitter Truth Of Life - Life is a compromise, without sugarcoating the truth.*
💦💧💦💧💦🔹💦💧💦💧💦
*🌺Be Simple But Always Look Stylish. Be Tensed But Look So Cool. Be Tough But Look Soft And Nice. Be A Beginner But Look Like A Winner. That Is The Way Of Living Your Live.*
💦💧💦💧💦🔹💦💧💦💧💦


*********

*Time management...*

"Your time should not be without any structure, such that you occupy yourself arbitrarily with whatever comes along. Rather, you must  account of yourself and order your worship during the day and the night, assigning to each period of time an activity that must not be neglected nor replaced by another activity. By this ordering of time, the blessing in time will show itself. 

A person who leaves himself without a plan as animals do, not knowing what he is to do at any given moment, will spend most of his time fruitlessly. 

Your time is your life, and your life is your capital: by it you make your trade, and by it you will reach the eternal bounties in the proximity of Allah. 

Every single breath of yours is a priceless jewel, because it is irreplaceable; once it is gone, there is no return for it. So do not be like fools who rejoice each day as their wealth increases while their lives decrease. What good is there in wealth that increases while one’s lifespan decreases? 

Do not rejoice except in an increase of knowledge or an increase of good works. Truly they are your two friends who will accompany you in your grave, when your spouse, your wealth, your children, and your friends will remain behind.”

— Imam al-Ghazali

*********

Perspective on how emotions affect health...

You are not a drop in the ocean but an ocean in every drop...said Rumi.

What did he mean by that... every cell in our body is intelligent to think and act.. We have 60 trillion cells in our body and our health depends a lot on the harmonic balance and cohesion of the cells with each other...

In the movie Eat, Pray Love, Julia Roberts visits a wise man in Bali, and he advises her not to try too hard to meditate.. in fact he suggests that medidation is nothing but smiling and the line that is a kicker, is " Smile with your liver " 

If you believe that this is just a metaphor, lets look at the other end of the spectrum to prove just how crucial this is.. Let us say you hold a negative emotion towards somebody, something or some event in your life... each time you think of that your whole body relives the emotional upheaval of that association.. 

Your mind doesn't have a mind of its own, and doesn't know if the event is happening in real time or it is being replayed.. so it produces the same stress hormores namely cortisol.. each and every cell of your body starts feeling the same emotion of let us say "hatred" towards that event, person or experience all over again...

The body isn't at ease.. this is a state where the condition of dis-ease sets in....

If you continue to live in that state, your cells are now getting conditioned to live in the same state... The Upanishads talk about " Yatha Pinde tatha Brahmande" as is the atom so is the universe....

Health of a person, depends on how well all the systems of the body and the 60 trillion cells play the melody of harmony together.. When the cells are living in a state of hatred.. they soon start exhibiting that with each other and killing healthy cells in the body...This leads to many forms of auto immune disease... Like Rumi said.. you are a drop in the ocean, you are an ocean in every drop... 

Be careful of your thoughts, your feelings and your emotions...

Forgive people,not because they deserve it, but because you need it...Stay happy, stay healthy.

*********

It all started one lazy Sunday afternoon in a small town near Toronto in Canada.

Two school-going friends had a crazy idea.

They rounded up three goats from the neighborhood and painted the numbers 1, 2 and 4 on their sides.

That night they let the goats loose inside their school building.

The next morning, when the authorities entered the school, they could smell something was wrong.

They soon saw goat droppings on the stairs and near the entrance and realized that some goats had entered the building.

A search was immediately launched and very soon, the three goats were found.

But the authorities were worried, where was goat No. 3?

They spent the rest of the day looking for goat No.3.

The school declared classes off for the students for the rest of the day.

The teachers, helpers, guards, canteen staffs, boys were all busy looking for the goat No. 3, which, of course, was never found.

Simply because ………… it did not exist.

Those among us who, in spite of having a good life are always feeling a “lack of fulfilment” & are actually looking for the elusive, missing, non-existent goat No.3.

Whatever the area of complaint or dissatisfaction, relationship, job-satisfaction, finance, achievements, ……

An absence of something is always larger than the presence of many other things.

Let’s Stop worrying about goat No.3 & enjoy life !!!
*********
*💐When God Puts A Tear In Your Eye, It's Because He Wants To Put A Rainbow In Your Heart.*
⛂⛀⛂⛀⛂⚬⛂⛀⛂⛀⛂
*🌹If You Believe in Yourself Enough And Know What You Want
You Are Gonna Make It happen.*
⛂⛀⛂⛀⛂⚬⛂⛀⛂⛀⛂
*🌷Mushkil Waqt Ka Sabse Bada Sahara Hai Umid, Jo Ek Pyari Si Muskan Dekar Kano Me Dheere Se Kehti Hai "Sab Accha Hoga"!*
⛂⛀⛂⛀⛂⚬⛂⛀⛂⛀⛂
*🌺Faith make everything possible,
Hopes make everything work,
Love makes everything beautiful,
May you have all the three as
you begin each day.*

*********

I was amazed at the percentages (of XIIth exam results) posted by proud parents on the social media... 99%, 98% etc...

The only time I gotten close to that percentage is when charging my cellphone... 😜

*********

*Hangover*

Wife: Baby, you love me na ?

Hubby: Who's Meena ?

😜✨🥃

*********

मारवाड़ी के घर एक बार सिंधी गया..।

मारवाड़ी -   चाय में शक्कर कितनी लेगा भाया..🍮

सिंधी - होटल में 3 चम्मच
          दूसरे के घर में 2 चम्मच
          दोस्त के घर में 1 चम्मच और
          अपने घर में फीकी।

मारवाड़ी -  इतना हिसाब मत कर भाया इसे अपना ही घर समझ...

🙄😳😷

*********

*मंदिर में*

संता: हे भगवान..मेरी सरकारी नौकरी लगवा दो

भगवान : नारियल, केला और सेब नही लाए..?

संता: भगवान..आप कर्म करो, 
फल की चिंता मत करे..!!
😬😝😂

*********

*🍒Life is unpredictable. We never know what is coming next. Let us not be complacent and get too comfortable. Let us be ready for CHALLENGES & CHANGES..!*
💦💧💦💧💦🔹💦💧💦💧💦
*🌹Life has 3 Cs: Choice, Chance & Change. You have to make the Choice; To take the Chance; If you want anything to Change!*
💦💧💦💧💦🔹💦💧💦💧💦
*⚘Life is like a piano. White keys are happy moments; And Black keys are sad moments; But remember both keys are played together to give sweet music!*
💦💧💦💧💦🔹💦💧💦💧💦
*🍁Life would be perfect if: Anger had a Stop button; Mistakes had a Rewind button; Hard Times had A Forward button; And Good Times had a Pause button!*
💦💧💦💧💦🔹💦💧💦💧💦

*********

TB - Pai: I attended a Party with a gathering of about 30 people and sat in the front row. 

A Lady started distributing snacks from the back and unfortunately, it didn't get to us sitting at the front.

Another Lady started handing out  Drinks, from the front. But by then I had already moved to the Back. So the drink didn't get to me.

I was irritated and stood up to  leave.

But then I saw three ladies each with A Big Bowl of vegetable Manchurian dry. This time, I tried to be Wise by sitting at the Middle. One of the Ladies started the sharing from the Front, and the second Lady started distributing from the back. When they got to the middle where I was seated, it got over again! 

Feeling frustrated, I bent my head, putting my Face in My Hands.

But then the third Lady tapped me and held out her Bowl. 
I stretched out my Hand and guess what was in the Bowl?

Toothpicks !!!

*Moral:*
Don’t try to Position yourself in Life. If you r doing your best then good things will come to you automatically, sooner or later.

Otherwise You will Wrongfully position Yourself For Toothpicks Only!!!!💝💝

*********

Dr.- Your case is quite complicated.

Patient- Why doctor? What happened?

Dr.- You got a disease from the chapter  which I left as optional during my studies...

😐😕😕🤣🤣🤣

*********

Amor fati is a Latin phrase that may be translated as "love of fate" or "love of one's fate". It is used to describe an attitude in which one sees everything that happens, including suffering and loss as, necessary. Whether one likes them or not, it is accepted with zen like serenity. 

Thomas Edison was at home eating dinner. A man burst into his home, interrupting him. He had bad news. His research facility was on fire. 

Now how would you imagine Edison to react? Do you imagine Edison panicking or do you hear him screaming out “Why me?” or is he deeply distraught or do you see him in deep agony?

None of these happened. Edison requested his son to go and get his mother. It seems, Edison excitedly told his son, “She’ll never see a fire like this again.”

Naturally, Edison’s son thought his father had lost his mind, and rightfully so. All of Edison’s experiments, things that could never be replicated, were inside his laboratory, burning to the ground.

“Don’t worry. It’s all right,” Edison said calmly, “All my mistakes and a lot of unnecessary rubbish have just got burnt.” 

In this, Edison revealed the true nature of Amor Fati – choosing to love your fate, no matter what. 

Not only was he “NOT broken-hearted”, he was revitalised. Despite losing over $1 million at the age of 67 in that fire, he persevered and made over $10 million thereafter. WOW! 

I am in love with the concept of Amor Fati. Why? Because, the power that we have in life by accepting our fate is so immense that you feel nothing is impossible for you. You believe that everything has a purpose, and that it is up to you to make this purpose something positive and active. 

Maybe you lost your job.

Maybe someone cheated you of your entire life’s earnings.

Maybe, your trust was broken with impunity.

Maybe, the person you love the most, is facing a life threatening disease.

Maybe, someone ill treated you.

The challenge of your life may be considerable and inescapable.

And yet you’re given the choice to greet it with a smile. And then, act..That’s AMOR FATI. 


It is unnatural, I know, to feel calmness when faced with calamities. But see it this way. It is fuel for you to push harder when you felt lost. It is fuel for you to work harder when you want to quit. It is fuel for you to think big when nothing was going right. It is fuel for you to smile when all you want to do is frown.

Amor Fati,
–>