SMS Jokes , Witty quotes , stories , funny shares texts - Page 8

Son : Dad , There is a small get together in the school tomorrow. Please come
Dad : What do you mean by small , who all will be there ??
Son : Only you , me and principal !!
SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 8
A man approaches a beautiful woman in a Shopping Mall
"Miss, please, I lost my wife in the store. Would you mind if I talk to you for a few minutes?"
"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears from somewhere"!
Witty quote :
If you salute your work, you dont have to salute anybody. If you pollute your work,  you have to sallute everybody - APJ Abdul Kalam
What is the difference between farmers and husbands?
Farmers have agri_culture... Husbands have agree_culture


It was a Sports Stadium...
8 boys were standing  on a track for racing.
Ready !
Steady !
Bang !
With sound of Pistol all boys started running.
Hardly  had they covered 10 to 15 steps,
1 boy slipped & fell.
He started crying due to pain.
When other 7 Boys heard him, all of them STOPPED running..
STOOD for a while,
turned BACK & RAN
towards him.
All the 7 Boys LIFTED the Boy,
pacified him,
joined hands together,
walked together &
reached WINNING Post.
Officials were shocked.
Many Eyes were filled with tears.
It happened at Pune. Race was conducted by National Institute of Mental Health...
All participants were
Mentally RETARDED.
What did they teach ?
Sportsman spirit,

We Surely can NEVER Do this,


We have Brains....
We have Ego...
We have Attitude

Nalia Bhatt Jokes !!

Nalia Bhatt - Safola oil toh de diya bhaiya. Is kee sath ka gift nahi diya.
Shopkeeper -  Isske sath koyi gift nahi hai.
Nalia - Ullu matt banao isme likha hai "Cholesterol Free"
Varun - How many apples can you eat on an empty stomach?
Aliya - I can eat 6 apples.
Varun - Wrong. you can eat only 1 apple on empty stomach bcoz when you eat the 2nd apple that’s not an empty stomach!
Aliya: Wow superb joke. I’ll tell my friend..
Aliya to Shraddha - How many apples you can eat on an empty stomach?
Shraddha - I can eat 10.
Aliya - Pagal.. 6 bolti to mast joke sunati!!

Nalia Bhatt calls the Help Desk to complain a computer problem.
Nalia - When I type computer password, it just shows star star star star. What's the problem?
Help Desk - Dear lady, those stars are to protect you, so that if a person is standing behind, he can't read your password.
Nalia - Yeah, but stars appear even when there is no one standing behind me.
Help Desk - !!!!!!!!!!!!

First time in the history it has happened....!
Rajnikant vs Nalia.
Question to both in a competition.
What is half of 8?
Rajni: 4
Nalia: Depend karta hai ....
agar horizontally half karo to ''0'' or vertically karo to ''3''
Rajnikant still unconcious...!!!

Nalia bhatt: Hey dad, what plans for weekend ?
Nahesh bhatt: Income Tax Returns.
Nalia bhatt: Hey first part kab release hua tha?
Nahesh bhatt:  Jaa meri ma, tu shooting pe ja!!!

100 metre ki race ho rahi thi...
Referee said '1,2,3 GO!'...
Everybody started running except Nalia bhatt.
Referee - Y r u not running...?
Nalia - My number is 4 !!!

SBI Bank: Humara bank aapko bina interest ke loan de raha hai....
Nalia bhat: Agar dene mein interest hi nahi hai to kyu de rahe ho? Nahi chahiye....
Once there was a mirror that killed anyone who lied...
FRENCH : I think I dont smoke (died).
AMERICAN : I think I love my wife (died).
Nalia BHATT: I think.. (died)

Nalia bhatt and varun dhawan are walking on a road, and they find a 1000 rupee note lying down.
Nalia - What should we do now?
Varun- We'll take 50:50.
Nalia- What about the remaining 900?
Nalia Bhatt: Let's go for movie.
Varun: Shit, I've got a doctor's appointment today..
Nalia Bhatt: Just cancel it,Tell him you're sick.

Nalia reading newspaper..
"Indian athlete lost gold medal in long jump"
ANalia comments:
Idiot !!
Who told him to wear gold medal while jumping!!!

Deepika Padukone : I have more Fans than You..
Nalia Bhatt: No Big deal, I have AC at Home.



A long time ago, there was a huge apple tree. A little boy loved to come and play around it every day. He climbed to the treetop,

ate the apples, and took a nap under the shadow. He loved the tree and the tree loved to play with him.

Time went by, the little boy had grown up and he no longer played around the tree every day.

One day, the boy came back to the tree and he looked sad.

“Come and play with me”, the tree asked the boy.

Boy: “I am no longer a kid, I do not play around trees anymore” the boy replied. “I want toys. I need money to buy them.”

Tree: “Sorry, but I do not have money, but you can pick all my apples and sell them. So, you will have money.”

The boy was so excited. He grabbed all the apples on the tree and left happily. The boy never came back after he picked the apples. The tree was sad.

One day, the boy who now turned into a man returned and the tree was excited.

“Come and play with me” the tree said.

“I do not have time to play. I have to work for my family. We need a house for shelter. Can you help me?”

“Sorry, but I do not have any house. But you can chop off my branches to build your house.” So the man cut all the branches of the tree and left happily.

The tree was glad to see him happy but the man never came back since then. The tree was again lonely and sad.

One hot summer day, the man returned and the tree was delighted.

“Come and play with me!” the tree said.

“I am getting old. I want to go sailing to relax myself. Can you give me a boat?” said the man.

“Use my trunk to build your boat. You can sail far away and be happy.”

So the man cut the tree trunk to make a boat. He went sailing and never showed up for a long time.

Finally, the man returned after many years.

“Sorry, my boy. But I do not have anything for you anymore. No more apples for you”, the tree said.

“No problem, I do not have any teeth to bite” the man replied.

Tree : “No more trunk for you to climb on.”

“I am too old for that now” the man said.

“I really cannot give you anything, the only thing left is my dying roots,” the tree said with tears.

“I do not need much now, just a place to rest. I am tired after all these years,” the man replied.

“Good! Old tree roots are the best place to lean on and rest, come sit down with me and rest.” The man sat down and the tree was glad and smiled with tears.

 This is a story of everyone. The tree is like our parents. When we were young, we loved to play with our Mum and Dad.

When we grow up, we leave them; only come to them when we need something or when we are in trouble.

No matter what, parents will always be there and give everything they could just to make you happy.

You may think the boy is cruel to the tree, but that is how all of us treat our parents.

We take them for granted; we don’t appreciate all they do for us, until it’s too late.

~ Moral ~
Treat your parents with loving care…. For you will know their value, when you see their empty chair…

We never know the love of our parents for us; till we have become parents

Click here for more such jokes collections