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SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 27

Indian wife sanskaro wali hoti hai
SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 27
Wo kabhi sabke samne apne pati ko

"Abe Gadhe" aur
"Oye Gadhe" ya
"Sun Gadhe"

nahi bolti

Isliye wo short me
"A.G. / O.G./ Suno G"
Kehti hain..

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Doctor: Which soap do you use?
Patient: K. P. Namboodiri's soap.
Doctor: Paste?
Patient: K. P. Namboodiri's paste
Doctor: Shampoo?
Patient: - K. P. Namboodiri's shampoo.
Doctor: Is K.P. Namboodiri an international brand?
Patient: No. K. P. Namboodiri is my roommate !

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A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman – “Which book has helped you most in your life?”
 The woman replied – “My husband’s cheque book !!”

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A prospective husband in a book store “Do you have a book called, ‘Husband – the Master of the House’?
Sales Girl : “Sir, Fiction and Comics are on the 1st floor!”.

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Someone asked an old man : “Even after 70 years, you still call your wife – Darling, Honey, Luv. What’s the secret ?
Old man : I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her.

A man in Hell asked Devil : Can I make a call to my Wife ? After making call he asked how much to pay.
Devil : Nothing. Hell to hell is Free.

Husband to wife – Today is a fine day. Next day he says : Today is a fine day. Again next day, he says same thing – Today is a fine day. Finally after a week, the wife can’t take it and asks her husband – since last one week, you are saying this “Today is a fine day’. I am fed up. What’s the matter?
Husband : Last week when we had an argument, you said, “I will  leave you one fine day.” I was just trying to remind you……

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A newly married couple was walking through a garden suddenly a dog ran towards then .They both knew it will bite them..The husband lifted his wife 💭 let the dog bite him than his sweetie.The dog stopped before them barked for a while and ran backwards.The husband put his wife down expecting a 💋 or 💏 from her.Then his wife shouted " I have seen people throwing stones and sticks at dogs this is the first time I am seeing someone throwing his wife at a dog " !!!

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SPECIAL MESSAGE
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Never Tell Ur Problems to all,  20% will not Care & 80% will be Glad that U have Them.
************************
Life is similar to Boxing Game.  Defeat is not Declared when U Fall Down.  It is Declared when U Refuse to Get Up.
************************
Always WRONG PERSONS Teach the RIGHT LESSONS in Life. That is called LIFE EXPERIENCE.
*************************
Everything is Valuable only at 2 Times: 1: Before Getting It. & 2: After Losing It.
************************
Two Places are most Valuable in the World:
1: The NICEST Place is to be in Someone's Thoughts. &
2: The SAFEST Place is to be in Someone's Prayers.
************************
'FEAR' has 2 Meanings:
1: Forget Everything & Run. &
2: Face Everything & Rejoice.
Choice is Ours.
************************
'EGO' is the only Requirement
to Destroy any Relationship.
Be a Bigger Person,
Skip the 'E' & let it 'GO'.
************************
As long as We do not Forgive People who have Hurt Us,
They Occupy a 'RENT-FREE-SPACE'
in our Mind.
************************
I asked GOD: If everything is already Written in Destiny, then why should I Pray ?
GOD Smiled & said: I have also Written 'CONDITIONS APPLY'.
************************
Empty Pockets Teach Millons of Things in Life. BUT Full Pockets Spoil Us in Million Ways.
************************
TRUST is like a Sticker.
Once it is Removed, it may Stick again, but not as Strong as it Holds
when U First Applied.
************************
Never Win People with Arguments. Rather Defeat Them with Ur Smile.
Because People who always Wish to
Argue with U, cannot Bear Ur SILENCE.

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WOMAN

● changes her name

● changes her home

● leaves her family

● moves in with you

● builds a home with you

● gets pregnant for you

● pregnancy changes her body

● she gets fat

● almost gives up in the labour room due to the unbearable pain of child birth

● even the kids she delivers bear your name

Till the day she dies... everything she does... cooking, cleaning your house, taking care of your parents, bringing up your children, earning, advising you, ensuring you can be relaxed, maintaining all family relations, everything that benefit you..... sometimes at the cost of her own health, hobbies and beauty.

So who is really doing whom a favour?

Dear men, appreciate the women in your lives always, because it is not easy to be a woman.

*Being a woman is priceless*

Happy women's week!

Pass this to every woman in your contact to make her feel proud of herself.

Rock the world ladies!

A salute to ladies!

WOMAN MEANS :-

W - WONDERFUL MOTHER
O - OUTSTANDING FRIEND
M - MARVELLOUS DAUGHTER
A - ADORABLE SISTER
N - NICEST GIFT TO MEN FROM GOD

==================================

One young man went to apply for a managerial position in a big company.

He passed the initial interview, and now would meet the director for the final interview.

The director discovered from his CV that the youth's academic achievements were excellent.

He asked, Did you obtain any scholarships in school...?
the youth answered "NO".

Who paid for your school fees...?
" Parents ", he replied.

"Where did they work......?"

"They worked as clothes cleaner.”

The director requested the youth to show his hands.
The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.

"Have you ever helped your parents wash the clothes ?"

"Never, my parents always wanted me to study and read more books.
Besides, my parents can wash clothes faster than me.

The director said, "I have a request.

When you go home today, go and clean your parents hands, and then see me tomorrow morning.

The youth felt dejected.
When he went back home, he asked his parents to let him clean their hands.
His parents felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings,
They showed their hands to their son.

The youth cleaned their hands slowly.
His tear fell as he did that.
It was the first time he noticed that his parents hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in their hands.

Some bruises were so painful that they winced when he touched it.

This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fees.

The bruises in the hands were the price that the parents had to pay for his education, his school activities and his future.

After cleaning his parents hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for  them.

That night, parents and son talked for a very long time.

Next morning, the youth went to the director's office.

The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes, when he asked:

"Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house....?"

The youth answered,
I cleaned my parents hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes'

“I now know what appreciation is.
Without my parents, I would not be who I am today...

By helping my parents, only now do I realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done on your own And I have come to appreciate the importance and value of helping one’s family.

The director said,
"This is what I am looking for in a manager.
I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life.”

“You are hired.”

A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted, would develop an "entitlement mentality" and would always put himself first.

He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts.

If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying our children instead...?

You can let your child live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano, watch on a big screen TV.

But when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it.

After a meal, let them wash their plates and bowls together with their brothers and sisters.

It is not  because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love them in a right way.

You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents are, one day their hair will grow grey, same as the parent of that young person.

The most important thing is your child learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learns the ability to work with others to get things done...

Try to forward this story to as many as possible...this may change somebody's fate.

This will also change someone's attitude

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Who is Happy ???

A Crow was absolutely satisfied in life.

But one day he saw a swan...
This swan is so white and I am so black...crow thought.

This swan must be the happiest bird in the world.

He expressed his thoughts to the swan.
"Actually," the swan replied,

"I was feeling that I was the happiest bird around until I saw a parrot, which has two colors.
I now think the parrot is the happiest bird in creation."

The crow then approached the parrot.
The parrot explained,
"I lived a very happy life—until I saw a peacock.
I have only two colors, but the peacock has multiple colors."

The crow then visited a peacock in the zoo and saw that hundreds of people had gathered to see him.

After the people had left,
The crow approached the Peacock..

Dear Peacock,
You are so beautiful.
Every day thousands of people come to see you.
When people see me,
they immediately shoo me away.
I think you are the happiest bird on the planet.

The peacock replied,
I always thought that I was the most beautiful and happy bird on the planet.
But because of my beauty,
I am entrapped in this zoo.

I have examined the zoo very carefully, and I have realized that the crow is the only bird not kept in a cage.

So for past few days I have been thinking that if I were a crow,
I could happily roam everywhere.

That's our problem too.

We make unnecessary comparison with others and become sad.

We don't value what God has given us.
This all leads to the vicious cycle of unhappiness.

Value the things God has given us.

Learn the secret of being happy and discard the comparison which leads only to unhappiness..

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Best Answer given by an Indian Citizen:-
My Income Tax return form has been sent back because, In response to a question for 'Number of Dependents on you?',  I replied :---
"65% of population who doesn't pay taxes, 21 million illegal immigrants, 9,00,000 criminals in over 1382 prisons and above all 544+ MPs in parliament"and 4000 MLA's of states.
They said, this is not an acceptable answer.
I am still wondering..... Who the hell did I miss out!!.
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