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SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 42

SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 42A man is introducing his family:

1. This is my wife..... Google Vasantha.... if u ask one question she will give many relevant and irrelevant answers ...!!!

2. This is our son.. Facebook Kuttappan. He makes sure that our personal matters reach the whole colony...!!!

3. This is our daughter .... Twitter Karthyayeni. The whole colony follows her...!!!

4. This is my mother Whatsapp Vijayalakshmi. She is busy the whole day commenting on and conveying everything..!!!!

5. And I am Orkut Ayyappan. I have become irrelevant.......!!!: 😄😄😄

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A nice quote-
I had a sparrow as a pet but it flew away one day...
Then I had a squirrel but it ran away too..
Then...I planted a tree and they both came back...

- Dr APJ Abdul Kalam
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Quite true... I experienced the same!
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I offered a soft drink  to  a friend who drank it & went away

I offered Wafers but a friend ate it & went away

Then I brought a bottle of Whiskey and both my friends came back with more soft drinks & Wafers.
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Feel proud Dad

Amazing Lines.................
A school held a contest for all the kids. The theme for the contest was 'Nicest Thing Dad did for me'. Most of the children expressed their emotions nicely but the award winning answer will really bring a smile on your face. In his answer, a small kid wrote 
"Nicest Thing 
My Dad did for me was 
He Married My MOM"😊
Dedicated to all the  wonderful mothers!
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WHY WOMEN ARE SO SPECIAL . . .

Mum and Dad were watching TV when Mum said, "I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed."

She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's. Rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.

She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes into the washer, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button.

She picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the phone back on the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer.

She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry. She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom.

She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the  teacher, counted out some cash for the excursion and pulled a text book out  from  hiding under the chair. 

She signed a birthday card for a  friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note  for the  grocery store. She put both near her bag.  

Mum then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, put on her Night Solution & age fighting moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth and filed her nails.

Dad called out, "I thought you were going to bed."

"I'm on my way," she said. 

She put some water into the dog's dish and put the cat outside, then made sure the doors were locked and the patio light was on. 

She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and radios, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks into the hamper, and had a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework.

In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack. 

She added three things to her 6 most important things to do list. 

She said her prayers, and visualized the accomplishment of her goals. 

About that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular. "I'm going to bed.".

 And he did...without another thought.

Anything extraordinary here? 

Wonder why women live longer...? 

'CAUSE THEY ARE MADE FOR THE LONG HAUL....... (and they can't die sooner, they still have things to do!!!!)

Send this to five phenomenal women today...they'll love you for it! And Forward this to as many men as you can so that they know why women are so special  .........!  God's very own creation! :)😊

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In an ancient temple, a number of pigeons lived happily on roof top.

 When the renovation of the temple began for the annual temple feast the pigeons relocated themselves to a Church nearby. 

The existing pigeons in the Church accommodated the new comers very well.

Christmas was nearing and the Church was given a facelift, All the pigeons had to move out and look for another place. 

They were fortunate to find a place in a Mosque nearby, The pigeons in the Mosque welcomed them happily. 

It was Ramadan time and the Mosque was repainted, All the pigeons now came to the same ancient temple. 

One day the pigeons on top found some communal clashes below in a market square. 

The baby pigeon asked the mother pigeon 
"Who are these people ?

The mother replied; they are "Human beings". 

The baby asked, 
But why are they fighting with each other...?

The mother said "These human beings going to temple are called 'Hindus' and the people going to Church are called 'Christians' and the people going to Mosque are called 'Muslims'. 

The Baby pigeon asked, "Why is it so? When we were in the Temple we were called Pigeons, when we were in the church we were called Pigeons and when we were in the Mosque, we were called Pigeons. Similarly they should be called just 
'Human beings' wherever they go"?

The mother Pigeon said, 
'You and me and our Pigeon friends have experienced God and that's why we are living here in a highly elevated place peacefully. 

These people are yet to experience God. 

Hence they are living below us and fighting and killing each other.

Don't Just Read this Message, 
SHARE With all your near and dear ones, as Many of us Should Have Thinking as Pigeons

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एक गरीब FAMILY थी..! जिस मे 5 लोग थे...।

माँ बाप और 3 बच्चे बाप हमेशा बीमार रहता था ।

एक दिन वो मर गया । 3 दिन तक पड़ोसियों ने खाना भेजा ।

बाद में भूखे रहने के दिन आ गए..।

माँ ने कुछ दिन तक जैसे-तैसे बच्चों को खाना खिलाया ।

लेकिन कब तक आखिर फिर से भूखे रहना पड़ा ।

जिस की वजह से 8 साल का बेटा बीमार हो गया ।

और बिस्तर पकड़ लिया....।

एक दिन 5 साल की बच्ची ने माँ के कान में पूछा ।
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माँ भाई कब मरेगा....??

माँ ने तड़प कर पूछा ऐसा क्यों पूछ रही हो.....??

बच्ची ने बड़ी मासूमियत से जवाब दिया,

जिसे सुन कर आप की आँखों में आँसु आ जायेंगे...!
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बच्ची का जवाब था ।
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" माँ भाई मरेगा तो घर में खाना आएगा ना...!"
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भाइयो और बहनो, आपके खाने में गरीबो का भी हक है ।

गरीबो की मदद करे जो दुसरो के मोहताज़ है...।

अगर आप हर message , Shaayri SHARE करते हो...

थोडा टाइम निकाल कर इस पोस्ट को भी SHARE कर दीजिये..!

भगवान... हम सब की मुसीबत टाल दे ।

और जो कोई भी इस मेसेज को आगे बढ़ा रहा है..।

Bhaghwan  उसकी हर परेसानी को दूर कर दे..!!!   

जरूर पढ़े और ओरो को भी भेजे..!

शादिया शुरू हो गई है... आपसे हाथ जोड़ विनती है...।

अगर आगे से कभी आपके घर में पार्टी / समारोह हो..!

और खाना बच जाये या बेकार जा रहा हो...!

तो बिना झिझके आप 1098 (केवल भारत में) पर फ़ोन करें,

...."यह एक मजाक नहीं है -  यह चाइल्ड helpline है"...!

....वे आयेंगे और भोजन एकत्रित करके ले जायेंगे ।
 
...कृपया इस msg को ज्यादा से ज्यादा प्रसारित करें..!

इससे उन बच्चों का पेट भर सकता है l

कृपया... इस श्रृंखला को तोड़े नहीं..!

..."मदद करने वाले हाथ, प्रार्थना करने वाले हाथो से, अच्छे होते हैं l"

भगवान की... Photo फॉरवर्ड करने से, किसी को गुड लक मिला या नहीं मालूम नहीं l

पर एक msg अगर भूखे बच्चे तक...,

खाना फॉरवर्ड कर सके तो यह ज्यादा बेहतर है...!

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