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ThinkBangalore.com

SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 47

When I was small 😊

• I'd put my arms in my
SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 47
shirt and told people I lost my arms • Would restart the video game whenever I knew I was going to lose • Had that one pen with four colors, and tried to push all the buttons at once • Waited behind a door to scare someone, then leaving because they're taking too long to come out. • Faked being asleep,so I could be carried to bed. • Used to think that the moon followed our car • Tried to balance the switch between On/Off • Watching two drops of rain roll down window and pretending it was a race • The only thing i had to take care of was a school bag. • Swallowed a fruit seed I was scared to death that a tree was going to grow in my tummy. • Closed the fridge extremely slowly to see when the lights went off. • Walked into a room,. forgot what you needed, Walked out, and then remember. Remember when we were kids and couldn't wait to grow up? and now we think why did we even grow up? Childhood Was The Best Part Of our Life i know u have a smile on ur face while reading the msg....if u want someone close to u smile too...go ahead..share the joyful memories 😄 Finally, I found the answer to the most asked question in my childhood .. What do you want to become when you grow up? A child again.😊 SCHOOL LIFE Big gang of frdsss.👭👬👫👭👬👫👭👬 Colorful uniform👕👕👕👕👕👕 Silly fight😜😜😅😩😖😤😜☺😄😄 Friendly teachers🙎🙎👨👨 Group photos....😁😁😁🎆🎑🎆🎑🎆🎑🎆🎑 Combined study😜☺😉😍😴😴😎😴😴😴😄😄 Never ending P T periods🎯🏈🏀🏉🎱🎾⚾⚽🎳🃏🎲 Rocking annual day👻🎊🎉💝💅💃💃😍😍💥💥 . Group discussion on anythg n nothg😜😜😜☺☺😘 So many hands in one lunch box🍚👋👊🙌👊 Remarkable marks0⃣😜😜😜☺ Terror report card📋🙅🙅🔥👹👺🔥🔥😡 Self parents signature ✒✒〰😜 Justified mistakes...😔 Lovable tour😍😍💥✨🌟💃💃💅💇👒👠🎊🎉🚌🎢🎡🎠🗼🌉 School life.. Is just lik heaven...😍😍😍 Send to all ur besteess.. To make them smile and rembr
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#Employee in chennai : since heavy rain in chennai I couldn't come to office ?? #Boss : In ur resume u have told ur hobby is swimming , so come soon dude !! 😂😤😂
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🌀Leave applications.🌀 (murdering english language) 🌀Infosys, Bangalore:🌀 "Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife , please sanction me one-week leave." ________________________________ 🌀Oracle, Bangalore:🌀 >From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "As I want to shave my son's head , please leave me for two days.." ________________________________ 🌀Leave-letter from a CDAC employee who was performing his daughter's wedding: "As I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.." ________________________________ 🌀From H.A.L. Administration Dept: "As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it please grant me 10 days leave." ________________________________ 🌀Another employee applied for half-day leave as follows: "Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o'clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave" ________________________________ 🌀A leave letter: "I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday." ________________________________ 🌀A leave letter to a headmaster: "As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today" ________________________________ 🌀Another letter written to a headmaster: "As my headache is paining , please grant me leave for the day." ________________________________ 🌀Covering note: "I am enclosed herewith..." ________________________________ 🌀Another one: "Dear Sir: with reference to the above , please refer to my bottom..." ________________________________ 🌀Actual application for leave: "My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave". ________________________________ 🌀Telegram sent by a Rural br.manager to Zonal office- "wife serious, send substitute!"
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Dear Monsoon,
Please don't be so romantic.
We do not have girlfriends who will wear chiffon sarees and dance in the rains.
We only have wives who will make us run out to the terrace and bring in clothes hung out for drying...
-All married men.😏😰😀

The female version of Monsoon Msg 

Dear Monsoon ...
Please don't be so romantic.
We do not have cool boyfriends who will take us on a romantic ride.
We have husbands who will ask us to go into the kitchen and prepare tea and Pakodas.
-All wives.😏😰😀😜

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Put a frog in a vessel of water and start heating the water. As the temperature of the water rises, the frog is able to adjust its body temperature accordingly. The frog keeps on adjusting with increase in temperature... Just when the water is about to reach boiling point, the frog is not able to adjust anymore... At that point the frog decides to jump out... The frog tries to jump but is unable to do so, because it has lost all its strength in adjusting with the rising water temperature... Very soon the frog dies. What killed the frog? Many of us would say the boiling water... But the truth is what killed the frog was its own inability to decide when it had to jump out. We all need to adjust with people and situations, but we need to be sure when we need to adjust and when we need to confront/face. There are times when we need to face the situation and take the appropriate action... If we allow people to exploit us physically, mentally, emotionally or financially, they will continue to do so... We have to decide when to jump. Let us jump while we still have the strength. Think on It !!
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Once a father beats up his son and when son starts crying, the father says sorry.

Smart Son says : Take a piece of paper. Crumble it. Fold it. Now open it. Say "sorry" to it. Are the scars on the paper gone? Nahi na.. Relationships are like this .

Smarter Dad says : Take my scooter and try to start. does it start ? Nahin naa... Now give it 3-4 kicks. Now does it start ? Hua na... Haram-khor.. Tu wahi scooter hai, koi paper - waper nahi. Aage se ye Facebook/WhatsApp wale gyaan apne baap ko mat dena.
😂😂😂😂
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 What is Prayer?

Prayer doesn't just happen when we kneel or put hands together and focus and expect things from God

 Instead...

Thinking positive and wishing good for others - That is prayer

When you hug a friend - That's  a prayer

When you cook something to nourish family and friends-  That's a prayer

When we send off our near and dear ones and say 'Drive Safely' or 'Be Safe'- That's prayer

When you are helping someone in need by giving your time and energy - You are praying

Prayer is a Vibration- A feeling - A thought.

Prayer is the voice of love, friendship, genuine relationships
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
😃For all fitness freaks:
5 ways to burn 100 calories:
1. Walking - 45 mins
2. Jogging/Running - 16 mins
3. Swimming - 17 mins
4. Climbing Stairs - 16 mins
5. Tennis - 14 mins

Note:
People who can't do all the above mentioned exercises, arguing with your wife for 2 minutes is equally effective!😄
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PHILOSOPHY OF 70%..
* The day we pass away, our money will still be in the bank.

* When we are alive, we feel we don't have enough money to spend.

* When we are gone, there is still a lot of money not spent”.

* A Chinese tycoon passed away.

He left for his widow $1.9 billion in the bank.
The widow remarried her young Chauffeur.
The Chauffeur said, "All the while I thought I was working for my boss.
Now only I realize that my boss was all the time working for me!"

The Moral?

It is more important to live longer than to have more wealth.
• Strive to have a strong and healthy body.
• In a ‘high end’ hand phone, 70% of the functions are useless.
• In an expensive car, 70% of the speed is not needed.
• In a luxurious villa, 70% of the space remains un-occupied or un-utilized.
• In a whole wardrobe of clothes, 70% of them are seldom worn.
• Out of whole life’s earnings, 70% stays behind for other people to use.
70% of talent is not utilized
*
So, How to make full use of our 30%.?
• Go for medical checkup even when you feel fit.
• Drink more water even if you’re not thirsty.
• ‘Let go’ your ego, whenever you can.
• ‘Give in’ even if you are ‘right’.
• Be humble even if you are very powerful.
• Be contented even if you are not rich.
• Exercise even if you are very busy.
Cheers,...... Live life, its only one life u have got.
FANTASTIC MSG..!
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How Can You "SM_LE"
Without "I" ?
How Can You Be "F_NE" 
Without "I" ?
How Can You "W_SH"
Without "I" ?
How Can You Be "N_CE"
Without "I" ?
How Can You Be "FR_END"
Without "I" ?
"I" Am Very Important!

But This ' I ' Can Never Achieve "S_CCESS" nor Can "LA_GH" Without all of 'U' ......
And That Makes 'U' More Important 

Than 'I..

👍👍😊😊🍻🍻

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ಮನೆ ತುಂಬಾ ಮಕ್ಕಳು..
ಕಿತ್ತು 
ತಿನ್ನುವ ಬಡತನ...
ಹಸಿವು...

ಬದುಕಿನ
ನಿಜವಾದ ಬಣ್ಣವನ್ನು ಪರಿಚಯ ಮಾಡಿಸುವದೇ ಈ ಹಸಿವು... !

ಹೆಂಡತಿಗೆ ಸಹಿಸಲಾಗಲಿಲ್ಲ...

"ನಿಮ್ಮ 
ಸ್ನೇಹಿತ ಶ್ರೀಕೃಷ್ಣ..
ಈಗ ರಾಜನಾಗಿದ್ದಾನೆ...

ಹೋಗಿ..
ಒಮ್ಮೆ ಭೇಟಿಯಾಗಿ ಬನ್ನಿ..."

ಸುಧಾಮನಿಗೆ ಸಂಕೋಚವಾಯಿತು...

"ಹೇಗೆ ಹೋಗಲಿ.. ?

ಆತ ಚಕ್ರವರ್ತಿ...
ಶ್ರೀಮಂತ..
ಲೋಕವೇ ಅವನನ್ನು ಪೂಜಿಸುತ್ತಿದೆ...

ನನ್ನ 
ವೇಷ ಭೂಷಣಕ್ಕೂ ಅವನ ಭೇಟಿಯಾಗುವ ಯೋಗ್ಯತೆ ಇಲ್ಲ...

ನಾವು ಸಣ್ಣವರಿದ್ದಾಗ ಸ್ನೇಹವಿತ್ತು...

ಈಗ
ಆತನಿಗೆ ನನ್ನ ನೆನಪು ಇದೆಯೋ.. ಇಲ್ಲವೋ ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ..."...

ಸುಧಾಮನ ಮಡದಿ ಬಿಡಲಿಲ್ಲ..

"ಸ್ನೇಹಕ್ಕೆ 
ಅಂತಸ್ತು... ಶ್ರೀಮಂತಿಕೆ..ಇವುಗಳ ಅಗತ್ಯವೇ ಇಲ್ಲ..

ಸ್ನೇಹಕ್ಕೆ 
ಕೇವಲ ಭಾವನೆ.. ನೆನಪುಗಳು... ಹೃದಯ ಶ್ರೀಮಂತಿಕೆ ಸಾಕು..
ಹೋಗಿ ಬನ್ನಿ..."

ಸುಧಾಮನಿಗೆ ಮತ್ತೆ ಸಂಕೋಚ..

"ಖಾಲಿ ಕೈಯ್ಯಲ್ಲಿ ಹೇಗೆ ಹೋಗಲಿ ?....

ಏನಾದರೂ 
ತೆಗೆದುಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಗಲು ನಮ್ಮ ಬಳಿ ಏನೂ ಇಲ್ಲವಲ್ಲ.."....

ಮಡದಿ ಹಠವಾದಿ...

ಮನೆಯ ಡಬ್ಬಗಳನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ ಹುಡುಕಾಡಿದಳು..

ಎರಡು ಮುಷ್ಟಿ "ಅವಲಕ್ಕಿ" ಸಿಕ್ಕಿತು... !

ಅವನ 
ಪಂಚೆಯ ತುದಿಗೆ ಅದನ್ನು ಕಟ್ಟಿ..

"ಹೋಗಿ ಬನ್ನಿ...
ಶ್ರೀಕೃಷ್ಣ ಕೇಳಿದರೆ ಇದನ್ನು ಕೊಡಿ...

ಅರ್ಥವಾಗುವ ಮನಸ್ಸಿಗೆ 
ಹೃದಯಕ್ಕೆ
ವಸ್ತುಸ್ಥಿತಿಯನ್ನು ಹೇಳುವ ಅಗತ್ಯವಿರುವದಿಲ್ಲ... ಅರ್ಥವಾಗುತ್ತದೆ..."...

ಸುಧಾಮ 
ಬಲು ದೂರ ನಡೆದು..
ಬಳಲಿ.. ಬೆಂಡಾಗಿ..
ಹಸಿವೆಯಿಂದ
ಶ್ರೀಕೃಷ್ಣನ ಮನೆಯ ದ್ವಾರದ ಬಳಿ ಬಂದ....

ದ್ವಾರ ಪಾಲಕ ಒಳಗೆ ಬಿಡಲಿಲ್ಲ...

"ನಾನು
ಶಿಕೃಷ್ಣನ ಗೆಳೆಯ...
ಬಾಲ್ಯ ಸ್ನೇಹಿತ..."....

ದ್ವಾರ ಪಾಲಕ ನಕ್ಕ... !

ಬಡತನಕ್ಕೆ 
ಕಣ್ಣೀರು...
ಹಸಿವೆಯನ್ನು ಬಿಟ್ಟು...
ಸುಲಭವಾಗಿ ಮತ್ತೆ ಯಾವುದೂ ದಕ್ಕುವದಿಲ್ಲ...

"ಪುಣ್ಯಾತ್ಮ...
ಒಳಗೆ ಹೋಗಿ ಶ್ರೀಕೃಷ್ಣನಿಗೆ "ಸುಧಾಮ ಬಂದಿದ್ದಾನೆ" ಅಂತಾದರೂ ಹೇಳು...

ಆತನಿಗೆ ನೆನಪು ಇಲ್ಲವಾದಲ್ಲಿ ತಿರುಗಿ ಹೋಗುವೆ... "....

ದ್ವಾರಪಾಲಕ
ಒಳಗೆ ಹೋಗಿ ಕೃಷ್ಣನಿಗೆ ಸುಧಾಮನ ಹೆಸರು ಹೇಳಿದ..

ಕೃಷ್ಣ
ಓಡೋಡಿ ದ್ವಾರದವರೆಗೆ ಬಂದ...

ತನ್ನ ಬಾಲ್ಯದ ಗೆಳೆಯನನ್ನು ತಬ್ಬಿಕೊಂಡ..

ಕಣ್ಣಲ್ಲಿ ನೀರು ಇಳಿಯುತ್ತಿತ್ತು...

ಸುಧಾಮನನ್ನು
ಒಳಗೆ ಕರೆತಂದು ತಾನು ಕುಳಿತುಕೊಳ್ಳುವ ಆಸನದಲ್ಲಿ ಕುಳ್ಳಿರಿಸಿದ...

ಅವನ ಪಾದ ತೊಳೆದ..
ಬಿಸಿಲಲ್ಲಿ 
ಬರಿಗಾಲಲ್ಲಿ ನಡೆದು ಬೊಬ್ಬೆಗುಳ್ಳೆಗಳಾಗಿದ್ದ ಗೆಳೆಯನ ಕಾಲುಗಳನ್ನು ನೋಡಿ ಮರುಗಿದ...
ದುಃಖಿಸಿದ...

ತಮ್ಮ ಬಾಲ್ಯದ ತುಂಟಾಟಗಳನ್ನು ನೆನಪಿಸಿದ...

ಹರಟಿದ... ನಗಿಸಿದ...
ಒಂದು
ಕ್ಷಣಕ್ಕಾದರೂ ಸುಧಾಮನ ನೋವುಗಳನ್ನು ಮರೆಸಿದ... !

ಹೊಟ್ಟೆ ತುಂಬಾ ಮೃಷ್ಟಾನ್ನ ಭೋಜನ ಬಡಿಸಿದ...

"ಗೆಳೆಯಾ...
ನನಗಾಗಿ ಏನು ತಂದಿರುವೆ...?..".... 

ಸುಧಾಮ 
ನಾಚಿ.. ಸಂಕೋಚದ ಮುದ್ದೆಯಾದ..

ಎಲ್ಲಿಯ ಶ್ರೀಕೃಷ್ಣ.. !
ಆವನ ಅರಮನೆಯ ವೈಭವ... ಮೃಷ್ಟಾನ್ನ ಭೋಜನ..!

ಎಲ್ಲಿಯ 
ಕುಚೇಲ
ಸುಧಾಮನ ಎರಡು ಹಿಡಿ ಮುಷ್ಟಿಯ ಒಣ ಅವಲಕ್ಕಿ ?...

ಕೃಷ್ಣ ಬಿಡಲಿಲ್ಲ...

ಪಂಚೆಯ ತುದಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕಟ್ಟಿದ ಅವಲಕ್ಕಿ ಕಾಣಿಸಿತು...

ಗಂಟು ಬಿಚ್ಚಿ...
ಅವಲಕ್ಕಿಯನ್ನು ಬಾಯಲ್ಲಿ ಹಾಕಿಕೊಂಡು ಬಾಯಿ ಚಪ್ಪರಿಸಿದ...

ಸುಧಾಮನ ಕಣ್ಣಲ್ಲಿ 
ನೀರಿಳಿಯುತ್ತಿತ್ತು..

ಒಂದೆರಡು ದಿನ ಅಲ್ಲಿದ್ದು 
ಶ್ರೀಕೃಷ್ಣನಿಂದ ಬಿಳ್ಕೊಟ್ಟು ಮನೆಯ ಕಡೆ ಹೊರಟ..

ಮನೆಯ 
ಬಳಿ ಬಂದಾಗ ಅವನ ಮನೆ ಅಲ್ಲಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ...
ದೊಡ್ಡ ಅರಮನೆಯಿತ್ತು...

ಅವನ ಮಕ್ಕಳು ಒಳ್ಳೆಯ ಉಡುಪುಗಳನ್ನು ಧರಿಸಿ ಅಪ್ಪನನ್ನು ಸ್ವಾಗತಿಸಿದರು..

ಮಡದಿ
ರೇಷ್ಮೆ ಸೀರೆ ಉಟ್ಟು... ಮೈ ತುಂಬಾ ಆಭರಣ ಧರಿಸಿ ನಗು ನಗುತ್ತಾ ಸ್ವಾಗತಿಸಿದಳು....

ಕೃಷ್ಣನ ಭೇಟಿಯಲ್ಲಿ
ಸುಧಾಮನಿಗೆ ನಾಲಿಗೆ ಕಟ್ಟಿತ್ತು...

ಸಹಾಯ ಕೇಳಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ...

ಆದರೆ 
ಶ್ರಿಕೃಷ್ಣ 
ತನ್ನ ಗೆಳೆಯನನ್ನು..

ಗೆಳೆತನವನ್ನು ಮರೆತಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ...

ಒಮ್ಮೆ
ಶುರುವಾದ ಸ್ನೇಹಕ್ಕೆ "ಮರೆವು" ಎನ್ನುವದು ಇರುವದಿಲ್ಲ...

ದೂರ..
ಹತ್ತಿರ...
ಮಾತು.. ಮೌನ 
ಎಲ್ಲವನ್ನೂ ಮೀರಿದ ಭಾವ ಸಂಬಂಧ ಇದು.. !
:::::::::::::::::::

ನಮ್ಮ

ಪ್ರತಿ ಮಾತಿನಲ್ಲಿ...
ಮೌನದಲ್ಲಿ... 
ಪವಿತ್ರವಾದ ಸ್ನೇಹ ಪರಿಮಳವಿರಲಿ....

ನಮ್ಮ ಪ್ರತಿ ಸಂಬಂಧಗಳಲ್ಲಿ "ಭಾವನೆಗಳಿರಲಿ"...

ನಮ್ಮ
ಪ್ರತಿಯೊಂದು ಸಂಬಂಧಗಳು
ಭಾವ
ಭಾಂಧವ್ಯಗಳಾಗಲಿ..
ಅವುಗಳನ್ನು ನಿಭಾಯಿಸುವ ಶಕ್ತಿ ನಮಗಿರಲಿ...

ನಮ್ಮ
ಪ್ರತಿಯೊಂದೂ ಸಂಬಂಧಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಒಬ್ಬ ನಗುವ ಗೆಳೆಯನಿರಲಿ....


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