SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 46

💬 2 Wives chatting in office :

Wife 1: I had a fine evening, how was Urs???
SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 46
Wife 2 : It was a disaster. My husband came home, ate his dinner in 3 mins & fell asleep in 2 mins. How was yours? Wife 1 : Oh mine was amazing ! My husband came home and took me out for a romantic dinner. 🍲 After dinner we walked for an hour.👫 When we came home he lit the candles around the house. It was like a fairy tale ! At the same time, their husbands are talking at work.. Husband 1: How was your evening? Husband 2: Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate & fell asleep. What about you ? Husband 1: It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner, they cut the electricity because I forgot to pay the bill; so I took her out for dinner which was so expensive that didn't have money left for a cab or auto.We walked home which took an hour & when we got home I remembered there was no electricity so I had to light candles all over the house !!!!!! 😳😛😜😝😄😅😂 MORAL: PRESENTATION DOES MATTER... NO MATTER WHAT THE REALITY IS !!! 😊Chanakya writes😊 "If you want to be Happy with your husband, Love him Less & Understand him more ! If you want to be Happy with your wife, Love her More & NEVER try to Understand her !"😀😝😝 Dedicated to All married 💑 couple ********* Early morning Husband woke up his wife and asked her: "Honey would you like to join me for Yoga?" She: "Ohh. So you mean to say I am fat?" Hubby:"No. Yoga is good for health." She: "Oh.. that means I am sick." Hubby: "No no. If you don't want to get up, then it's OK."... She: "So now you think I am lazy, ha?" Hubby: "Nooo. You are misunderstanding me. I didn't mean...." She: "Aha ! So I don't understand you, right?" Hubby: "Now look I didn't say that." She: "So am I lying? " Hubby: "Arey yaar. Plz don't stretch it in the morning" She: "Oh wow. So I am a quarrelsome lady." Hubby: "All right ! Its better that I also don't go for Yoga." She: "See ? You never wanted to go. Just wanted to blame me." HUBBY: "Ok baba.. You go off to sleep. I am going alone.. happy?." SHE: "You always go alone everywhere and enjoy." Hubby: "Plz yaar. I am feeling giddy now " She: "See? You are so selfish. Always think of yourself only. Never think of my health." Grrrrrr... Husband is still sitting and thinking where he went wrong. Happy Men's Day (to all married men) ********* After completing B.E... a Student took his Girlfriend 👫 to his Home. Father: Who is She? Son replied... "Campus Selection"

In a Nursery School Canteen...

There's a basket of apples with a notice written over it 

"Do not take more than one, God is watching"

On the other counter there's a box of chocolates,
A small child went & wrote on it.
"Take as many as U want, God is busy watching the apples"...

NEVER ACT SMART WITH Today's Generation..!.! 😜😜

KID :- Why some of ur hair are white dad...? 

DAD : – Every time you make me unhappy , one of my hair turns white…

KID :- Now understand why grandpa’s hairs are all white…

Moral :- Don’t be over smart...

Child : Mummy why Gandhi has no hair on his head...?

Mummy : Because he speak only truth...

Child : Now I understud why ladies have long hair...   Ultimate 😜😜😜

Teacher: How old is your father?
Kid: He is 6 years.
Teacher: What? How is this possible?
Kid: He became father only when I was born.

 Don't laugh alone, share with others 😂

I  am prassana venkatram working as a system analyst for an American software company in Chennai. Presently drawing 18 lakhs P.A. proud owner of a 3BHK in suburbs of Chennai. Today I have 2 credit cards with more than 1 lakh credit limit and a bank balance of 65 thousand in my account. But due to heavy water logging I am not able to move out my house, all I need is water and food for my survival. Till yesterday I was worried about my appraisal and was expecting at least 15% hike but today I am standing in my terrace waiting for a food packet. 

Nature is the best teacher.

You run the race of life in laps once to discover every finishing line is also the starting line. You run and run only to come back to where you started.  

As the success graph of life keeps soaring, you only realize, year after year the closing balance once again becomes the opening balance and you find yourself at zero.  

Zero in the graph of life, no matter how much you grow and how much you achieve.  

No matter how much we achieve, there is a point at which all of us will become successful enough to once again feel like a failure.

Keep growing and keep on growing.....


Wishing you most & more.....

God bless you !

ಒಂದು ಸಂಜೆ ತಂದೆ ಮಗನನ್ನು ಊರ ಮುಂದೆ ಇರುವ ದೇವಾಲಯಕ್ಕೆ ಕರಂದುಕೊಂಡು ಹೋದ..ದೇವಾಲಯದ ಹೆಬ್ಬಾಗಿಲಲ್ಲಿ ಕೆತ್ತಿದ್ದ ಸಿಂಹದ ವಿಗ್ರಹಗಳನ್ನ ನೋಡಿ ಮಗ  ಕಿರುಚುತ್ತಾ ಹೇಳಿದ "ಅಪ್ಪಾ !!ಓಡು ಓಡು ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಸಿಂಹಗಳು ಇದ್ದಾವೆ ನಮ್ಮನ್ನು ತಿಂದುಬಿಡುತ್ತವೆ...." ಓಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ಮಗನನ್ನು ನಿಲ್ಲಿಸಿ ತಂದೆ ಹೇಳಿದ "ಭಯ ಬೇಡ ಮಗೂ ಅವು ಕಲ್ಲಿನ ಸಿಂಹಗಳು ಅವುಗಳಿಂದ ನಮಗೆ ಏನೂ ಆಗುವುದಿಲ್ಲ."...ಮಗ ಮರುಪ್ರಶ್ನೆ ಎಸೆದ "ಕಲ್ಲಿನ
ಸಿಂಹಗಳಿಂದ ನಮಗೆ ಏನೂ ಆಗುವುದಿಲ್ಲ ಎನ್ನುವುದಾದರೆ ಕಲ್ಲಿನ ದೇವರಿಂದ ಏನಾದರೂ ಆಗುತ್ತದೆ ಎಂದು ಹೇಗೆ ನಿರೀಕ್ಷಿಸುತ್ತೀಯೆ ಅಪ್ಪಾ..!! ?"
ತಂದೆ ತನ್ನ ಡೈರಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಈ ರೀತಿ ಬರೆಯುತ್ತಾನೆ.."'ಇದುವರೆಗೆ ನನ್ನ ಮಗನ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆ ಗೆ ಉತ್ತರ ಕೊಡಲು ಸಾಧ್ಯವಾಗಿಲ್ಲ .ಅಂದಿನಿಂದ ಕಲ್ಲಿನ ವಿಗ್ರಹ ಬಿಟ್ಟು ಮನುಷ್ಯರಲ್ಲಿ ದೇವರನ್ನು ಹುಡುಕಲು ಪ್ರಾರಂಭಿಸಿದೆ..ದೇವರನ್ನು ಕಾಣಲಾಗಲಿಲ್ಲ ಆದರೆ ಮಾನವೀಯತೆಯನ್ನು ಕಂಡೆ"...