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ThinkBangalore.com

SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 60


This is a killer  I could not stop laughing and I am still laughing -- Great stress buster  

Sardar to Librarian: l want a book named "Psycho The Rapist"
SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 60
. The Librarian searched for 3 hrs then came back & Slapped the Sardar & said Idiot the book name is "Psychotherapist" ......πŸ˜œπŸ˜œπŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜–πŸ˜–πŸ˜–

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Outstanding!! Can't even argue with this logic..

Husband : I love you!!!

Wife : I love you too, infact I love you so much I will fight the whole world for you..

Husband : But you fight with me the most..

Wife : Because you are the world to me!!!

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Employee 1 : Bhai need ur support.........
She is online n said "I love you"...

 Kya karu? 



Employee 2 : Bhai... Sabse pehle screen shot le...

Documentation bahut jaruri hai...

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Dr. Drobkin was a world-famous cardiologist who earned his undergraduate, graduate, and medical degrees in his hometown and then left for Manhattan where he quickly rose to the top of his field.

Soon he was invited to deliver a significant paper, at a conference held in his hometown. He walked on stage, placed his papers on the lectern, but they slid off onto the floor.

As he bent over to retrieve them, at precisely the wrong instant, he inadvertently farted. The microphone amplified his mistake resoundingly through the lecture room and reverberated it down the hall! He was quite embarrassed but somehow regained his composure just enough to deliver his paper. He ignored the resounding applause and raced out the stage door, never to be seen in his hometown again.

Decades later, when his elderly mother was ill, he returned to visit her. He reserved a hotel room under the name of Cohen and arrived under cover of darkness.

The desk clerk asked him, "Is this your first visit to our city, Mr. Cohen?"

Dr. Drobkin replied, "Well, young man, no, it isn't. I grew up here, received my education here, but then moved away."

"Why haven't you visited?" asked the desk clerk.

"Actually, I did visit once, many years ago, but an embarrassing thing happened and since then I've been too ashamed to return."

The clerk consoled him, "Sir, while I don't have your life experience, one thing I have learned is that often what seems embarrassing to me isn't even remembered by others. I bet that's true of your incident too."

Dr. Drobkin replied, "Son, I doubt that's the case with my embarrassment."

"Was it a long time ago?"

"Yes, many years."

The clerk asked, "Was it before or after the Drobkin Fart?"

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😊Beautiful letter written by a father & mother to his son & daughter πŸ‘Œ

After reading you must send to your children without fail.

Following is a letter to his son from a renowned Hong Kong TV broadcaster and a Child Psychologist.

The words are actually applicable to all of us, young or old, children or parents.! 

All parents can use this in their teachings to their children.

Dear son & daughter

We are writing this to you because of 3 (three) reasons:

1. Life, fortune and mishaps are unpredictable, nobody knows how long he lives. Some words are better said early.

2. We are your parents, and if we don't tell you these, no one else will.

3. What is written is our own personal bitter experiences that perhaps could save you a lot of unnecessary heartaches. Remember the following as you go through life

1. Do not bear grudge towards those who are not good to you. No one has the responsibility of treating you well, except your mother & I. 
To those who are good to you, you have to treasure it and be thankful, and ALSO you have to be cautious, because, everyone has a motive for every move. When a person is good to you, it does not mean he really likes you. You have to be careful, don't hastily regard him as a real friend.

2. No one is indispensable, nothing is in the world that you must possess. 
Once you understand this idea, it would be easier for you to go through life when people around you don't want you anymore, or when you lose what/who you love the most.

3. Life is short. 
When you waste your life today, tomorrow you would find that life is leaving you. The earlier you treasure your life, the better you enjoy life.

4. Love is but a transient feeling, and this feeling would fade with time and with one's mood. If your so called loved one leaves you, be patient, time will wash away your aches and sadness. 
Don't over exaggerate the beauty and sweetness of love, and don't over exaggerate the sadness of falling out of love.

5. A lot of successful people did not receive a good education, that does not mean that you can be successful by not studying hard! Whatever knowledge you gain is your weapon in life. 
One can go from rags to riches, but one has to start from some rags!

6. I do not expect you to financially support me when I am old, neither  would I financially support your whole life. My responsibility as a supporter ends when you are grown up. After that, you decide whether  you want to travel in a public transport or in your limousine, whether rich or poor.

7. You honour your words, but don't expect others to be so. You can be good to people, but don't expect people to be good to you. If you don't understand this, you would end up with unnecessary troubles.

8. I have bought for umpteen years, but I could never strike any prize. That shows if you want to be rich, you have to work hard! There is no free lunch!

9. No matter how much time we have with you, let's treasure the time we have together. We do not know if we would meet again in our next life.

     Your Dad and Mom

Read it twice
Ask your son and daughter to read it thrice.

Worth a read.
May God Bless all of us.


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Someone asked Sri Ravi Shankar How to develop our personality ?

Sri Ravi Shankar:
To develop your personality, you have to spend five days to have these five experiences to really blossom in your life.
You can develop your personality with these five experiences.
You have to sincerely play these five roles:

1. The first role which I would recommend to you is to be a School Teacher.
To teach lessons to children who are not learning, you need a lot of patience.
Being a nursery or primary school teacher, even for one day, you will see how you have to increase your patience.

2. Be a Gardener or spend a day with a Farmer.
If you are sowing the seeds,
if you are watering the plants,
you will know how you must care for water, earth and the environment.
You will have a feeling for the environment.
You will value food and you will not waste food.
You know, what we do?
We bring so much food, and we put it in the fridge and, after a few days in the refrigerator, we throw the food.
We are wasting millions and millions of tons of food every day.
We should not waste food.
This we will learn if we spend one day being a farmer or a gardener.

3. You should spend a day in the mental hospital.
Whatever people talk in the mental hospital, you don’t mind.
If they scold you,
if they blame you,
if they curse you,
will you mind?
You don’t mind because you are aware that this person is mentally sick.
You know that many people are outside the hospital, but that does not mean they are mentally well.
So, in life, you come across people who blame you for nothing, who are jealous or angry, who say things that make no sense. Then, you know, you will have the patience to deal with them with a smile. You will not take the garbage inside and spoil your mind.
So one day if you spend in a mental hospital, you will know how to save your mind.
You will stop being a football of others’ opinions.

4. One day you must go to a prison. Maybe it is shocking to you.
You don’t have to do a wrong thing to go to a prison.
Just go visit a prison, spend a little time with the prisoners.
You will understand what compassion is.
What helplessness is.
Those people did a mistake without awareness.
So you will know how you must have a say on your emotions.

5. There are terminally ill people in the hospital.
One day with them, and you will realize how precious life is.
And you will start valuing health.
You will eat better,
you will exercise.
You will do all that is needed to be more vibrant in your life.

With these five days what would be the outcome? 

I guess from these five days you will become
More Vibrant,
More Alive,
More Loving,
Compassionate
and Active.

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