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Valentines day special jokes and greetings

Collection of Valentines day jokes and greetings Valentine day special :

'I love you' is  a mathematical function where, 

 'I love' - is constant and
'you' - is a variable..

πŸ˜„πŸ˜›πŸ˜‚

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Husband to wife: janu is valantine pe me tumhe white color ka flower dunga..

Wife: oho darling pehle  to aap red color ka rose dete the is baar white ka kyu?

Husbnd: sweet heart pehle me tumse prem ki asha rkhta tha ab shanti ki asha rkhata huπŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰πŸ€‘πŸ˜›πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜œπŸ˜œ

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πŸ’ƒThe secret of a long and happy marriage!
 
At The Murugan Temple in East-ham, London, they have weekly husband's marriage seminars.

At the session last week, the priest asked one Muthusamy, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, ‘‘to take a few minutes and share some insight secret how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years’’.

Muthusamy replied to the assembled husbands, "Well, I've tried to treat her nice, spend money on her, bought her enough jewellery and sarees, but best of all is, I took her to Chennai, India for the 25th anniversary!"

The priest responded, ‘‘Muthusamy, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning, for your
wife for your 50th anniversary?’’

Muthusamy proudly replied, “I’m going back 





to Chennai to pick her up."
πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ€
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Girl to shopkeeper : Bhaiya aap ke paas aisa
valentine card hai jisme likha ho. 'U R MY 1st
and would be my Last LOVE..? 

Shopkeeper :
Haan Hai..! 

Girl :Theek hai.. 




Paanch de do..πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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I met my friend Richa , a smart lawyer, at the post office.  

She was posting about 4 dozen cards. 

I asked her what was the occasion?

She said that these were Valentine cards and signed as "Guess Who" and sent to all the married men in and around her society.
She said that last year she had posted about 2 dozen and was lucky to have about 4 divorce cases.

So this time she wanted to increase her biz. 😜😝😝

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wife:Nanu Tappiskondre Niven Madtira?
hus:News Paperge Jahiratu Kodtini
wife:So sweet! Adrali Yenanta Baritira?
hus: Yelle iru, Hege iru, 
Please
Alle iru.πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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These all are best moments of love.....don't miss them in life. 

Love is not only having a bf or gf. 

Love you all who have been a special part of my life...........

Its love, 
when a little girl puts her energy to give dad a head massage.

Its love, 
when a wife makes tea for husband and take a sip before him.

Its love, 
when a mother gives her son the best piece of cake. 

Its love, 
when ur friend holds your hand tightly on a slippery
road.

Its love, 
when your brother messages you and asks did you reach home on time..

Love πŸ’• is not just a guy holding a girl and going around the city.

Love when you send a small msg to your friends to make them smile

 Luv πŸ’• is actually a name of "care"..

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Valentines special SQL query: for Guys :-
Select * from Earth where Girl = 'Single'  and status ='Available';
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
(0 row(s) affected)
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Valentines special SQL query for Girls: 

Select * from Earth where Boy= 'Single' and status = 'Available' ;
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
System.outOfMemory.exception

Too many rows to handle
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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A man got a call from unknown number..
Girl: Hi, wish u very happy Valentine's day...are you single?
Man: Yes...Yes who are you?
Answer: Your wife!
Aaj ghar aa...phir batati hu..
☀☀☀☀
( couple of hours , He gets Another call from unknown number)
Girl: Are you married?
Man: Yes, but who are you?
Girl: Your girlfriend, you fraud...you cheat.
Man: Sorry baby, I thought it was my wife..
Ans: Wife hi hoon, aaj tum bas ghar aajao...😝

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