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SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 71

ನಾನು ನಾನೇ ನಾನೆನುತ್ತೆ ಕಿರಿಕೊಡದ ನೀರ್ ।
ಗಾನಗೆಯ್ವುದು ಹೆಮ್ಮೆಯಿಂ ಕಡಲ ಮರೆತು ॥
ನೂನದಿಂದೆಲ್ಲವನುವಬ್ಧಿಯೊಳಗದನಿರಿಸೆ ।
ಮೌನವದು ಮಣ್ಕರಗಿ – ಮಂಕುತಿಮ್ಮ ॥

The water in the little pot will make a lot of noise. It will sing merrily having forgotten about the ocean. The water of the ocean on the other hand will speak a lot by its silence. If you put the pot into the sea, the mud dissolves and the water from the pot will unite with water outside and become silent.” – Mankutimma
Jokes , Fun , Haasya , Humor , Quotes , Greetings - Part 71

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A girl at bustop spotted a handsome man and without hesitation she told " i love u"

Man placed his hand on her head: " this love and infatuation all are nothing,
Go back to ur home and study hard so that u can lead a successful life"

Man then placed a piece of paper in her hand:" i have written some wisdom for you.read before u sleep" and went away..

Girl went back to hostel with tears and before sleep she opens the paper.

"Are you blind?my wife was standing behind me..anyways this is my number call me anytime..by the way.. i love u too!"

MEN ARE MEN..

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"You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind." 
An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that it's going to launch you into something great." 

*********

This is a very interesting story and a lesson for men.

(To men) Please take time to ponder. 😕

(To women) Just enjoy the story. 😋

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring kingdom.

The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question was: 
*What do women really want?*

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man. And to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men, and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but first he would have to agree to her price.

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table, and Arthur's closest friend. Young Arthur was horrified.

She was hunch-backed and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc.

He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden.

But Lancelot, having learnt of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life. And the reservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered.

Arthur's question thus: 
"What a woman really wants?"

She said, "A woman wants to be in charge of her own life."

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth, and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was. The neighbouring monarch granted Arthur his freedom. And Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and, Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him.

The most beautiful woman he had ever seen was sitting by the bed.

The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth become her horrible and deformed self only half the time, and be the beautiful maiden the other half.

"Which would you prefer?" She asked him. "BEUATIFUL during the DAY... OR at NIGHT?"

Lancelot pondered the predicament.

During the day, he could have a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch!

OR,

would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day? But by night a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous moments with?

(If you are a man reading this) What would YOUR choice be?

(If you are a woman reading this) What would YOUR MAN'S choice be?

And Lancelot's choice is given below...

BUT, please make YOUR choice first before you scroll down below!

OKAY?

Knowing the answer the witch gave to Arthur for his question, Sir Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time, because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

Now, what is the moral to this  

The moral is...

1. There is 'witch' in every woman, no matter how beautiful she is. It's how a man manages it

2. If you let a woman decide on her own she gives u d best. but if u force her with ur decisions she becomes a witch.

So, be careful how you treat a woman

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ಪೊಲಿಟೀಕಲ್ ಲವ್ ಲೆಟರ್❤📩

ಪ್ರಿಯೆ ನೀನು 'ಬಿಜೆಪಿ' ಜೊತೆ ಸೇರಿ ನಂಗೆ 'ಹೂವು' ಕೊಟ್ರೂ ಓಕೆ🌷
'ಜೆಡಿಎಸ್' ಸೇರಿ ನಂಗೆ 'ಹುಲ್ಲು' ಕೊಟ್ರೂ ಓಕೆ...🌾
ಆದ್ರೆ ಕಾಂಗ್ರೆಸ್ ಜೊತೆ ಸೇರಿ 'ಕೈ' ಮಾತ್ರ ಕೊಡ್ಬೇಡ✋🏿

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What ?? Alcohol ban in my Kerala ! This is zimbly terrible. Today I will take an otto, go to the temble and ask G od why he did thiz in hiz own kentry?? I ask all my ungles and aunthies to take all their meney and shift to Gelf and Thhubai immediately !

Enough of Sardar jokes……Mallu jokes are in town!!!!!!!!!!

1) What is the tax on a Mallu's income called?
IngumDax.

2) Where did the Malayali study?     
In the ko-liage.

3) Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today?
He is very bissi.

4) Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?
To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in Gelff.

5) Why do Malayalis go to the Gelff?
To yearn meney.

6) What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?
He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.                            

7) How does a Malayali spell moon?
MOON - Yem Woh yet another Woh and Yen.

8) What is Malayali management graduate called?
Yem Bee Yae.

9) What does a Malayali do when he goes to America ?
He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.

10) What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday?
An Oto.

11) Where does he pray?
In a Temble, Charch and a Maask.                          

12) Who is Bruce Lee's best friend?
A Malaya-Lee of coarse.

13) Name the only part of the werld, where Malayalis dont werk hard?
Kerala.

14) Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi.

15) Why did Saddam Hussain attack Kuwait? 
He had a Mallu baby-sitter, who always used to say 'KEEP QUWAIT' 'KEEP QUWAIT'.     

16) What is the Latest Malayali Punch Line?
Frem Tea Shops To Koll Cenders , We Are Yevery Where ".

17) Why aren't Mallus included in hockey and football teams?
Coz Whenever they get a corner, they set up a tea shop.

Now pass it on to 5 Mallus to get a free sample of  kokanet oil.                   
Pass it on 10 Mallus to get a free pack of Benana Chibbs....😋😜😝😛😙
ALL KUTTIES KERALIES ENJOY ,,,,,,,,,,

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ಮೊಬೈಲ್ ಒಂದು ದೇವಸ್ಥಾನ ಇದ್ದಂಗೆ 🏛⛪🕌

ವಾಟ್ಸಾಪ್ ಅದರಲ್ಲಿ ದೇವತೆ ಇದ್ದಂಗೆ ॐ☪✝

ಗ್ರೂಪ್ ಮಾಡಿದವರು ಪೂಜಾರಿ ಇದ್ದಂಗೆ 🔔

ಸಂದೇಶ ಕಳುಹಿಸುವವರು  ದಾನಿಗಳು ಇದ್ದಂಗೆ


ಓದಿ ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ರಿಪ್ಲೈ ಮಾಡುವವರು ಭಕ್ತರು ಇದ್ದಂಗೆ

ಬೇರೆಯವರು ಕಳುಹಿಸಿದ್ದನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ ಓದುತ್ತಾ, ತಾವು ಮಾತ್ರ ಏನನ್ನೂ ಕಳುಹಿಸದವರು ದೇವಸ್ಥಾನದಲ್ಲಿ ನಡೆಸುವ "ಅನ್ನ ಸಂತರ್ಪಣೆಗೆ" ದಿನಾ ಹಾಜರಿ ಹಾಕುವವರು ಇದ್ದಂಗೆ !   😂😂😂 

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दुनिया में धोखा आम बात है।

अब Suraj को ही देख लो

आता है Kiran के साथ
…
रहता है Roshni के साथ

और जाता है Sandhya के साथ।

और
आज Varsha भड़क गयी,

 तो छिप गया कहीं जा के
Megha के साथ 

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GRATITUDE CAN CHANGE DESTINY

There was a small bird living in a desert. 
With no sign of greenery the bird use to hop around on the hot sand through the day. 

An angel while on his way to God saw the little bird and felt pity. 
He went and asked 
“O little bird! What are you doing in this hot desert? Can I do something for you?” 

The little bird said,
 “I am very pleased with my life, but this heat is unbearable. Both my feet are getting burnt. Only if there was a tree here, I’d be delighted”. 

Angel said,
 “Growing a tree in the middle of desert is beyond my scope. I am   going to meet God, let me speak to Him and ask if He could fulfill your desire”.

Angel asked God, if he could help the bird. God said, 
“I could grow a tree, but her destiny doesn’t allow it. And I can’t change that. However, you can give her my message, which will help her survive the heat. Ask her to hop with one foot at a time. That way she can rest the other one for a while and change foot often. This way only one of her foot will have to bear the heat and other one will be able to rest and recover. Also tell her to remember all the good
things that have happened in her life and be thankful to God for that. 

Angel came back to where the bird was and gave her this message from God.
 The bird was delighted by the idea and thanked him for the effort he made to make her comfortable.
After a few days, 
Angel was crossing the same desert and thought of checking on the little bird. 
He saw the bird sitting on big green tree, right in the middle of the desert.
 Angel was happy to see the bird in comfort but was very disappointed with God who suggested that there was no tree in this bird’s destiny. 
He went to meet God and told Him the whole story.
 God replied,
 “I never lied to you. There was no tree in the bird’s destiny. However, after you gave her my message, which asked her to be grateful to God for the kind things, she did put those words to action. She remembered every possible thing from her life and thanked God with a pure heart. I was moved with her feeling of gratitude and that’s what made me change her destiny”. 

Angel was pleased with the answer.
A small gratitude can bring so much in our lives."

Always thank God 

And

Stay blessed

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A genie appeared in the dream of a woman. 
"Whatever you want, just ask " it said.

"My husband’s eyes should be only on me during all waking hours."

"And then ..?"

"He should not be concerned with anything else in life except me."

"And then?"

"He should never sleep without me by his side."

"And then ..?"

"When he wakes up in the morning he should only see my face first."

"And then ..?"

"He should not go anywhere without me."

"And then ..?"

"If there is even a single scratch on me, he should go crazy with grief."

"And then ..?"

"That's it."

And, bingo, the genie turned the woman into 






a Samsung 📱Android phone!😈😈😈😈

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It's  Perception...

THE SITUATION:

 In Washington, DC, at a Metro Station, on a cold January morning in 2007, this man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes.  During that time, approximately 2,000 people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.  After about 3 minutes, a middle-aged man noticed that there was a musician playing.  He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds, and then he hurried on to meet his schedule.

About 4 minutes later:

The violinist received his first dollar. A woman threw money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.

At 6 minutes: 

A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.

At 10 minutes:

A 3-year old boy stopped, but his mother tugged him along hurriedly.  The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head the whole time.  This action was repeated by several other children, but every parent — without exception — forced their children to move on quickly.

At 45 minutes:

The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while.  About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace.  The man collected a total of $32.

After 1 hour: 

He finished playing and silence took over.  No one noticed and no one applauded.  There was no recognition at all. 

 No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world.  He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars.  Two days earlier, Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged over $100 each to sit and listen to him play the same music.

This is a true story. Joshua Bell, playing incognito in the D.C. Metro Station, was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities. 

This experiment raised several questions: 

In a common-place environment, at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty?

If so, do we stop to appreciate it?

Are we able to recognize talent in an unexpected context?

One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made . . .

How many other things are we missing as we rush through life?

Enjoy life NOW . . . it has an expiry date!
😊👍💐

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Simply beautiful....
Pls take two minutes to read.

Dr. Mark, a well-known cancer specialist, was
once on his way to an important conference in another city, where he was going to be honoured by an award in the field of medical research.

He was very excited to attend the conference
and was desperate to reach as soon as possible.

He had worked long and hard on his research and felt his efforts deserved the award he was about to obtain.

However, two hours after the plane took off,
 the plane made an emergency landing at the nearest airport due to some technical snag. 

Afraid, that he wouldn't make it in time for the conference, 
Dr. Mark, immediately went to the reception counter and found that the next flight to the destination was after ten hours. 

The receptionist suggested him, to rent a car and drive down to the conference city which was only four hours drive.

Having no other choice, he agreed to the idea, despite his hatred for driving long distances.

Dr. Mark rented a car and started the journey.

However, 
Soon after he started, the weather suddenly changed and a heavy storm began. 

The pouring rain made it very difficult to see the road and missed a turn he was supposed to take.

After two hours of driving, he was convinced, he was lost. 

Driving in the heavy rain on a deserted road, feeling hungry and tired, he frantically began to look for any sign of civilization. 

After some time, he finally came across a small tattered house. 

Desperate, he got out of the car and knocked on the door. 
A lady opened the door.

He explained the situation and asked her if he could use her telephone.

However, the lady told him that she doesn't have a phone or any electronic gadget but told him to come inside and wait till the weather improved.

Hungry, wet and  exhausted, the doctor accepted her kind offer and walked in. 

The lady gave him hot tea and something to eat. He was feeling relaxed.

The lady requested him to join her for prayer. 

But, Dr. Mark smiled and said that he believed in hard work
only and told her to continue with her prayers.

Sitting on the chair,
doctor watched the woman sitting in the dim light of candles as she prayed next to what appeared to be a small baby crib.

Every time she finished a prayer, she would start another one.

Dr. felt that, the woman is in need of some help, and spoke to her as soon as she finished her prayers.

The doctor asked her, what exactly she wanted from the God, and enquired if she thought God will ever listen to her prayers.
He further asked about the small child in the crib for whom she was apparently praying.

The lady gave a sad smile and said that the child in the crib is her
son who is suffering from a rare type of cancer and there is only one doctor Mark, who can cure him but she doesn't have money to afford his fees and moreover, Dr Mark lives in another far off town. 

She said that God will certainly answer her prayer one day and will create some way out one day and added that she will not allow her fears to overcome her faith.

Stunned and speechless Dr Mark was in tears, which were rolling down his cheeks. 

He whispered, God is great !
and recollected the
sequence of events.

there was malfunction in the plane, 
a thunderstorm hit,
lost his way; 
and all this happened, because, God not only just answer her prayers, but also gave him a chance to come out of materialistic world and spare some time to help the poor hapless people, who have nothing but rich prayers !!!

Always be prepared to do, 
What God has prepared you for...

"There are no accidental things in Life" 
Everything happens for a reason...

😘

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