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SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 13

In a "Mental Hospital" a journalist asks the Doctor: How do u determine whether to admit a mental patient or not?
Dr: Well..we'd fill a bathtub with water & then give
a  teaspoon,
a glass &
a bucket
to the patient & ask them to empty the bathtub.

Journalist: Oh, obviously a normal person would use the bucket coz its bigger.
Dr: "No, a normal person would pull the drain plug!
Please go to bed No.39. We will start further investigations on you!"
............................................

You also thought of the bucket, didn't you?? Please go to bed No. 40
SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 13


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Dronacharya: The Mentor. The employee who doesn't like working himself but is  always ready to guide and train new joiners.

Bhishma: The Loyal. The employee in a relatively senior position who happily assists the boss in spite of knowing his incompetence (because of some strange oath maybe)

Dhritarashtra: The blind boss. He knows that everything is wrong with his project but will still let it function, without making any changes to the current processes.

Gandhari: The Yesmen/Women. Boss's immediate juniors who know that they are a part of an evil plan but will stay blindfolded and pretend as if nothing is happening.

Yuddhisthira: The ethical guy. Poor chap would never fudge timesheets and call in sick only when he is dying.

Bheema: The angry resource. Always ready to pick up a fight with his peers, subordinates or even the bosses.

Arjuna: The cool dude. The star performer who also knows how to sell his skills. A natural charmer, very famous among the ladies.

Nakul & Sahdev: The good average resource. No one notices them. They keep doing their work and get average appraisals.

Duryodhana: The Bully. Knows how to get work done, by hook or by crook. Doesn't mind threatening the likes of Nakul and Sahdev to get his work done.

Karna: The unsung hero. The best performer in the office but never claims credit for his work. Stays an unsung hero for all his life. Girls take him for a snobbish nerd.

Shakuni: The evil plotter. Copies management in every mail. Escalates every trivial issue, sometimes to take credits and sometimes purely for fun.

Dhristadyumna: The One inning wonder. The one who performs an extraordinary feat, and then basks in the glory of it for the rest of his life.

Draupadi: The shared resource. Keeps hopping projects on boss's advice.

Krishna: The Ultimate Boss (MD/CEO) who knows that it is his game while he makes everyone believe that they are playing important roles too.

Who says history never repeats itself... It does everyday. In the office.


===========================

Wife checks husbands mobile and find all girls numbers saved in the following order

New bird
Neighbour bird
Old bird
Upstair bird
Hospital bird
Insurance bird
College bird
Super market bird

Finally she checks her name. and it was saved as

Angry bird"


===========================

She’s not only beautiful but
passionately young,
Playful as a kid, yet
wise as one who has lived long.
Love You Mamma
Happy Mother's Day

===========================

M agnificient
O utstanding
T ender
H onourable
E xtraordinary
R emarkable

Happy Mother's day

===========================

Excellent Inspiring Message:

A Businessman who lost everything in a fire
placed a Sign Board:

"Everything burnt but luckily
faith & confidence
undamaged.
Business starts tomorrow."

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Superb Attitude for Life!

Log hamare bare me kya sochte hain,
Agar yeh bhi hum hi sochenge toh phir log kya sochenge..!
Jiyo bindas...

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Someone asked Life:
Why are you so difficult???
Life Smiled and said
"You people never appreciate easy things"

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Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness,
but because you deserve peace...

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Unbelievable fact!!
Our body is full of water  but wherever it hurts,
BLOOD comes out.
& Our heart is full of blood but whenever it hurts,
TEARS comes out...

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If you have a "Magnetic" personality and yet people don't get attracted to you, it's not your fault...
They have "IRON" deficiency in their bodies....

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Coolest msg....
"If we sleep on flowers
 its called our First Night"
"If flowers sleep on us, its called our Last Night"
Reality of life.......

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ಎಕ್ಸಾಮ್ ನ ಹಿಂದಿನ ದಿನ ರಾತ್ರಿ ನಾಲ್ಕು ಜನ
ಗೆಳೆಯರು ಫುಲ್ ಟೈಟ್ ಆಗಿ ಓದದೆ ಹಾಗೆಯೇ
ಮಲಗಿಬಿಟ್ಟರು
ಮರುದಿನ ಎಕ್ಸಾಮ್ ಹಾಲ್ ಗೆ ಹೋಗದೆ ನೇರವಾಗಿ
ಪ್ರಿನ್ಸಿಪಾಲರ ಬಳಿ ಹೋದರು
ಗೆಳೆಯ ೧ : ಸರ್ ನಿನ್ನೆ ರಾತ್ರಿ ನಾವು
ದೇವಸ್ಥಾನದಿಂದ ಬರುವಾಗ ನಮ್ಮ ಕಾರ್ ಪಂಚರ್
ಆಗಿ ನಾವು ರಾತ್ರಿಯೆಲ್ಲ ಕಾರ್ ನ ತಳ್ಳಿ ಕೊಂಡು
ಬಂದ ಕಾರಣ ಈಗ ನಾವು ಪರೀಕ್ಷೆ ಬರೆಯಲು
ಸಿದ್ಧರಿಲ್ಲ, ,ದಯವಿಟ್ಟು ನಮಗೆ ಇನ್ನೊಂದು ದಿನ
ಅವಕಾಶ ಕೊಡಿ.
ಪ್ರಿನ್ಸಿಪಾಲ್ : ಸರಿ ನಿಮಗೆ ನಾಡಿದ್ದು ಎಕ್ಸಾಮ್
ಇರತ್ತೆ ಓದ್ಕೊಂಡ್ ಬನ್ನಿ.
ಎರಡು ದಿನಗಳಿಂದ ಹುಡುಗ್ರು ತುಂಬಾ
ಓದಿಕೊಂಡು ಪರೀಕ್ಷೆಗೆ ಬಂದರು, ನಾಲ್ಕು
ಗೆಳೆಯರನ್ನು ನಾಲ್ಕು ಪ್ರತ್ಯೇಕವಾದ
ಕೋಣೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕೂರಿಸಲಾಗಿತ್ತು. ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆ ಪತ್ರಿಕೆ
ನೋಡಿ ಹುಡುಗ್ರು ಕಕ್ಕಾಬಿಕ್ಕಿಯಾದರ
ು ಅದರಲಿದ್ದದ್ದು ಕೇವಲ ಒಂದೇ ಪ್ರೆಶ್ನೆ
ಮೊನ್ನೆ ಎಕ್ಸಾಮ್ ನ ಹಿಂದಿನ ರಾತ್ರಿ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಕಾರ್
ನ ಯಾವ ಚಕ್ರ ಪಂಚರ್ ಆಗಿತ್ತು???
A) ಮುಂದಿನ ಎಡ
B) ಮುಂದಿನ ಬಲ
C) ಹಿಂದಿನ ಎಡ
D) ಹಿಂದಿನ ಬಲ
ವಿ.ಸೂಚನೆ: ನಿಮ್ಮ ನಾಲ್ಕು ಜನರ ಉತ್ತರ ಒಂದೇ
ಆದರೆ ಮಾತ್ರ ನೀವು ಪಾಸ್.

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6 LITTLE STORIES
           
ONCE, All villagers decided to pray for rain, on the day of prayer all the People gathered but only one boy came with an umbrella.

                That's
                FAITH
               
WHEN You throw a baby in the air, she laughs because she knows you will catch her.
               
              That's
              TRUST

EVERY Night we go to bed, without any assurance of being alive the next
Morning but still we set the alarms  to wake up.
               
               That's
               HOPE

                 
                 { 4 }

WE Plan big things for tomorrow in spite of zero knowledge of the future.
             
               
              That's
         CONFIDENCE

WE See the world suffering.
But still we get Married.
               
               
               That's
                LOVE.                                    

On an Old Man's shirt was written a cute sentence
'I Am Not 60 Years Old.., I Am Sweet 16 with 44 years Experience.'

               
                That's
             ATTITUDE
         
Have a happy day

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