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SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 21


Bhagwan :- "Beta...! Koi Mannat maango..!!"
SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 21

Bhakt :- "Plz muje Phir Se Unmarried kar dijiye...!"

Bhagwan :- "Beta Mannat maango...! Jannat nahi..!!!

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A wife was reading a travel and tourism magazine.

Wife: Shall we try Greece for our next honeymoon?

Hus: OK but what's wrong with Coconut oil. !!!

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Once Panta won a lottery , Priest said "Panta , god has favoured your luck . Give something to him also"
Panta threw all his money to the sky and said "God , Thanks for everything . Take whatever you want , I only consider which comes to ground !!!"

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This is one of the best posts I've read about woman... pl read it completely... it's worth it...

WOMAN. . . . . . . . .                                                      
When God created woman he was working late on the 6th day.......

An angel came by and asked." Why spend so much time on her ?".
                                 
The lord answered. " Have you seen all the  specifications I have to meet to shape her?".....

she must function on all kinds of situations....,

she must be able to embrace several kids at the same time,

give a hug that can heal anything from a bruised knee to a broken heart ,

she must do all this with only two hands,.."

She cures herself when sick and can work 18 hours a day".... ...                                                                                    
THE ANGEL was impressed. .." Just two hands.....impossible !" ..

And this is the standard model ? !."

The Angel came closer and touched the woman"......  ..

 " But you have made her so soft, Lord".....

" She is soft", said the Lord,

" But I have made her strong. You can't imagine what she can endure and overcome "...

"Can she think?" The Angel asked...

The Lord answered. " Not only can she think, she can reason and negotiate" ...

The Angel touched her cheeks.....


" Lord, it seems this creation is leaking !  You have put too many burdens on her. " ...

 "She is not leaking...it is a tear" The Lord corrected the Angel...

" What's it for?" Asked the Angel..... .

The Lord said. " Tears are her way of expressing her grief, her doubts, her love, her loneliness, her suffering and her pride."...

THIS made a big impression on the Angel,

" Lord, you are genius. You thought of everything.

A  woman is indeed marvellous !".... ...

Lord said." Indeed she is.

She has strength that amazes a man.

She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens.

She holds happiness, love and opinions.

She smiles when she feels like screaming.

She sings when she feels like crying, cries when happy and laughs when afraid.

She fights for what she believes in.

Her love is unconditional.

Her heart is broken when a next-of-kin or a friend dies

but she finds strength to get on with life." ..

The Angel asked : So she is a perfect ?

The lord replied : No. She has just one drawback

" She often forgets what she is worth".

Send it to all the women u respect ....

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This happened in Khandala Ghat near Lonavala during the last
monsoon.
A guy was driving from Bombay to Pune and decided not to take
the new expressway as he wanted to see the scenery along the
old road.
when he reached the mountains his car broke down - he was
stranded miles from nowhere.
Having no choice he started walking on the side of the road,
hoping to get a lift to the nearest town. It was dark and rainy.
And pretty soon he got wet and Shivering. The night rolled on
and no car passed by.
Suddenly he saw a car coming towards him. It slowed and then
stopd next to him - without thinking the guy opened the door
and jumped in. Seated in the back, he leaned forward to thank
the person who had saved him.
He realized there was nobody behind the wheel !!!
Even though there was no one in the front seat and no sound of
any engine, the car startd moving slowly. The guy lookd at the
road ahead and saw a curve coming. Scared almost to death he
startd to pray, begging the Lord for his life.
He hadn't come out of shock, when just before he hit the curve,
a hand appeard through the window and moves the wheel!
The car made the curve safely and continued on the road to the
next bend. The guy, now paralyzed in terror, watched how the
hand appeared every time before a curve and moved the
steering wheel just enough to get the car around each bend.
Finally, the guy saw lights ahead. Gathering his courage he
wrenched open the door of the silent, slowly moving car,
scrambled out and ran as hard as he cud towards the lights.
It was a small town. He stumbled into a restuarant, and askd for
a drink, and broke down. Then he startd talking about the
horrible experience he'd just been through.
There was dead silence in the restaurant when he stopped
talking ..... . . . .
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
......and that's when Santa and Banta Singh walked into the restaurant. Santa
pointed and said
'Look Banta - that's the idiot who got into our car when we were
pushing it.'

======================

Two 90 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives.

When it's clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day. One day Mike says, "Joe, we both loved cricket all our lives, and we played cricket on Saturdays together for so many years. Please do me one favour, when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's bat and ball there."

Joe looks up at Mike from his death bed," Mike, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favour for you.

Shortly after that, Joe passes on.

At midnight a couple of nights later, Mike is awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him, "Mike--Mike."

"Who is it? asks Mike sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"

"Mike--it's me, Joe."

"You're not Joe. Joe just died."

"I'm telling you, it's me, Joe," insists the voice."

"Joe! Where are you?"

"In heaven", replies Joe. "I have some really good news and a little bad news."

"Tell me the good news first," says Mike.

"The good news," Joe says," is that there's bat and ball in heaven. Better yet, all of our old friends who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always spring time and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play cricket all we want, and we never get tired."

That's fantastic," says Mike. "It's beyond my wildest dreams! So what's the bad news?

"You're in the team for this Saturday's match !!!"

Friends rock! heaven or hell !!

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बीमार employee से उसकी बीवी बोली: इस बार किसी जानवर
के डाक्टर को दिखाओ। तभी आप ठीक होगे।
Employee : वो क्यों?
बीवी:
1) रोज सुबह मुर्गे की तरह जल्दी उठ जाते हो|
2) घोडे की तरह भाग कर duty चले जाते हो।
3) गधे की तरह दिन भर काम करते हो।
4) लोमडी की तरह इधर उधर से इनफोरमेशन बटोरते हो।
5) बंदर की तरह सीनियर अधिकारियों के इशारों पर नाचते हो।
6) घर आ कर परिवार पर कुत्ते की तरह चिल्लाते हो।
7) और फिर भैंस की तरह खा कर सो जाते हो।
इंसानों का डाक्टर तुम्हें क्या खाक ठीक कर पायेगा?
सभी employee भाइयो को समर्पित

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A man stood outside of his house after a bitter fight with his wife , he noticed a crate of beer bottles.
He took out an empty bottle and smashed it onto the wall swearing, "you are the reason I fight wit my wife".
He smashed the second bottle, "you are the reason I don't luv my children".
He smashed the third bottle, "you are the reason I don't have a decent job".
When he took the fourth bottle, he realized that the bottle was still sealed and full of beer and he said to the bottle, "you stand aside, I know you were not involved".

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