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SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 22

How Kannada helps us saving time and energy...
SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 22

In English:
I'm sorry, can't hear you properly, can you please repeat what's the matter....



In Kannada


ಆ....?!!!
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A lady broke the traffic signal...
Police : 'Stop....!!!!!'

Lady : 'Please...let me go. . .I am a teacher...'

Police : 'Aahaa!!.... I have waited for this moment all my life....


Now ....WRITE ......
I'll never break a signal, 100 times...'.

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Some things will never change ...


Ajay : Mom i wanna marry Arun

Mom : that's not possible

Ajay : but mom! Same sex marriages are legal now

Mom : but he's not of our caste.
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School teacher sent home a note..:..
.
” Your son is an obedient & bright student but spends too much time with girls. ”
.
.
Mother sent a note back:
..
”Please advise a solution!
Father has the same problem. :
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85 yrs Virgin Dying Lady wanted her Grave written as,

"Born Virgin, Lived Virgin, Died Virgin"

The Sculptor Shortened it to:

"PARCEL RETURNED UNOPENED" !!
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Too much
Classy one...A friend indeed....
Jack goes to his friend Mike and says ...
"I'm sleeping with the priest's wife. Can you hold him in church for an hour after mass for me?"

The friend doesn't like it but being a friend, he agrees.

After mass, he starts talking to the priest, asking him all sorts of stupid questions, just to keep him occupied.

Finally the priest gets annoyed and asks Mike what he's really up to.

Mike, feeling guilty, finally confesses to the priest...
"My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, so he asked me to keep you occupied."

The priest smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Mike's shoulder and says...
"You better hurry home now. My wife died a year ago"

==================================
Teacher - Can you please tell the name of 2 great Kings who have brought happiness & peace into people's lives ?”

Student :

“Smo-king & Drin-king ” !!!

Teacher Resigned !


Teacher: Who was Akbar ?
Boy: Akbar was Gay.

Teacher:- What, Are you mad ? Why did you say that?

Boy:- We have heard Laila - Majnu, Romeo-Juliet
But Only
Akbar - Birbal !
Teacher died


This 1 is a killer 1 .....

Teacher : Students, what is the meaning of the green dot on the cover of britannia tiger biscuit?

Student : Tiger is online.
==================================

 ಒಮ್ಮೆ ಗ್ರಾಮದ ಎಲ್ಲಾ ಜನರು ಸೇರಿ ಮಳೆಗಾಗಿ ಪ್ರಾರ್ಥನೆ ಮಾಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದರು ಆದರೆ ಮಗುವೊಂದು  ಛತ್ರಿ ತಂದಿತ್ತು
                 ಇದೇ ನೋಡಿ
                ನಂಬಿಕೆ
         -----------------

ಮಗುವನ್ನು ಮೇಲಕ್ಕೆ ಎಸೆದಾಗ ಅದು ನಗುತ್ತೆ ಯಾಕೆಂದರೆ ನೀವು ಅದನ್ನು ಹಿಡಿಯುತ್ತೀರೆಂದು
              ಇದೇ ನೋಡಿ
              ವಿಶ್ವಾಸ
       ------------------
ಪ್ರತೀ ದಿನ ರಾತ್ರಿ ಮಲಗಲು ಹೋಗುವಾಗ ಮರುದಿವಸ ನಾವು ಜೀವಂತ ಇರುವೆವೊ ಇಲ್ಲವೊ ಎಂಬ ಅರಿವು ಇಲ್ಲದಿದ್ದರೂ ಅಲರಾಮ್ ಇಡುತ್ತೇವೆ
              ಇದೇ ನೋಡಿ
               ಭರವಸೆ
       -----------------
ಭವಿಷತ್ ನ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಜ್ಞಾನವಿಲ್ಲದಿದ್ದರೂ ನಾಳೆಗಾಗಿ ನಾವು ದೊಡ್ಡ ಯೋಜನೆಗಳನ್ನು ಮಾಡುತ್ತೇವೆ
              ಇದೇ ನೋಡಿ
         ಆತ್ಮವಿಶ್ವಾಸ
        -------------------
ಇತರರ ಕಷ್ಟವನ್ನು ವೀಕ್ಷಿಸುತ್ತೇವೆ ಆದರೂ ಮದುವೆ ಮಾಡಿಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತೇವೆ
               ಇದೇ ನೋಡಿ
                ಪ್ರೀತಿ                                
      --------------------
ಒಬ್ಬ ವೃದ್ದನ ಶರ್ಟಿನ ಮೇಲೆ ಬರೆದಿರುತ್ತೆ
'I Am Not 60 Years Old.., I Am Sweet 16 with 44 years Experience.'

             ಇದೇ ನೋಡಿ
             ದೃಷ್ಟಿಕೋನ
           ---------------
==================================
For all fitness freaks..

5 ways to burn 100 calories:

1. Walking - 45 mins
2. Jogging/ Running - 16 mins
3. Swimming - 17 mins
4. Climbing Stairs - 16 mins
5. Tennis - 14 mins

NOTE: People who can't do all the above mentioned exercises, arguing with your wife for 5 mins is equally effective!

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