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SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 25

Absolute Classic!!!
SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 25
Train Berth and Birth !!

The guy is on his final question for 5crore on 'KBC', and has one lifeline left, 'Phone A Friend',

 And the Question was...

"Which Bird does not make a nest?"
1: Sparrow

2: Swallow

3: Blackbird

4: Cuckoo

The guy is not sure, so he calls his girlfriend.

She answers, "Stupid, it's obviously a cuckoo, 100%" and the guy wins.

Later the guy calls his girlfriend, "how the hell did you know that, honey? I must say you've got more brains than I credit you for!"

And the sweet thing replies:
.
.
.
.


.
.
.
."Well...., u idiot, cuckoo lives in a clock na!"

The guy is still in coma

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A small kid asked his mom - Mom - how do you always know how to solve my problems ,??
Mom replied .... well you know God makes us take an exam to be able to know and solve all your problems before we become mummy . Only when we pass the test we become Mom !!!
The kid gave a knowing smile and said - I understand... If you fail in the test you become Daddy !!😀😀
For all the moms in the world
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Please give your 2min and read this:-

1 Let’s say it’s 7.25pm and you’re going home (alone of course) after an unusually hard day on the job.

2 You’re really tired, upset and frustrated.

3 Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to drag out into your arm and up in to your jaw. You are only about five km from the hospital nearest your home.

4 Unfortunately you don’t know if you’ll be able to make it that far.

5 You have been trained in CPR, but the guy that taught the course did not tell you how to perform it on yourself.

6 HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE?
Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart attack without help, the person whose heart is beating improperly and who begins to feel faint, has only
about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness.

7 However, these victims can help themselves by coughing
repeatedly and very vigorously. A deep breath should be taken before each cough, and the cough must be deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep inside the chest.

A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two
seconds without let-up until help arrives, or until
the heart is felt to be beating normally again.

8 Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing
movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood circulating. The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain normal rhythm. In this way, heart attack victims can get to a hospital.

9 Tell as many other people as possible about this. It could save their lives!!

10 A cardiologist says If everyone who gets this mail
kindly sends it to 10 people, you can bet that we’ll save at least one life.

11 Rather than sending jokes, please..contribute by forwarding this mail which can save a person’s life….

12 If this message comes around you ……more than once…..please don’t get irritated……U need to be happy that you have many friends who care about you & being reminded of how to tackle….Heart attacks….AGAI N…

From:
DR.N Siva
(Senior Cardiologist)
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Great lines

"Practice makes a MAN  perfect."

Then what about a woman?
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Don't think so hard..!!
She is born perfect!!

Dedicated To all lovely Ladies ....
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Can u judge who is the better person out of these 3 ?

Mr A - He had frienship with bad politicians, consults astrologers, two wives, chain smoker, drinks eight to 10 times a day.

Mr B - He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps till noon, used opium in college & drinks whiskey every evening.

Mr C - He is a decorated war hero,a vegetarian, doesn't smoke , doesn't drink  and never cheated on his wife.

You would want Mr.C rite.



But..
Mr. A was Franklin Roosevelt!

Mr. B was Winston Churchill!!

Mr C Was ADOLF HITLER!!!

Strange but true..
Its risky to judge anyone by his habits !
Character is a complex phenomenon.

So every person in ur life is important ,don't judge them ,accept them.
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Few disciples went to the master and told the master that they are all going for a pilgrimage trip. The Master asked them the purpose of this trip and the disciples said it is for “ Inner Purification”. The master immediately took out a Karela ( Bitter gourd) and handed over this to them . The disciples asked the master what is that they are supposed to do with the Karela.  The master said carry this Karela with you , where ever you go and do Pooja , keep this Karela also in the pooja and do the pooja.  The disciples took the karela with them and where ever they went kept the Karela in the pooja and brought it back.  After returning back from the trip , they met the master and offered back the Karela to the master.  The master asked them to cook that karela and serve the same to him . They cooked the Karela and served the food the master .  Master tasted the food and the karela and said it is still bitter.  You took this to every temple and came back and it is still bitter. Disciples said it is the nature of the bitter gourd.
The Master smiled and the disciples understood the meaning.
The significance of this story to all of us is that basically if we have to change, our nature has to change . Simply going there , going here is not going to help. It is important that the bottle has to be cleaned from inside.  Outside everything can be adjusted or created. The inner nature has to change. The inner shift has to come and that is inner spiritualism and our Attitudes towards life, people , family, friends, community etc
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