SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 65

Man O Man!
 When without money,
 eats vegetables at home;
 When has money,
 eats the same vegetables in a fine restaurant.
Jokes , Fun , Haasya , Humor , Quotes , Greetings - Part 65
When without money, rides bicycle; When has money rides the same ‘exercise machine’. . When without money walks to earn food When has money, walks to burn fat; Man O Man! Never fails to deceive thyself! . When without money, wishes to get married; When has money, wishes to get divorced. . When without money, wife becomes secretary; When has money, secretary becomes wife. . When without money, acts like a rich man; When has money acts like a poor man. Man O Man! Never can tell the simple truth! . Says share market is bad, but keeps speculating; Says money is evil, but keeps accumulating. . Says high Positions are lonely, but keeps wanting them. . Says gambling & drinking is bad, but keeps indulging; Man O Man! Never means what he says and never says what he means.. "I slept on benches and everyday borrowed 20Rs from friend to travel to film city" - Sharukh khan "I failed in 8th standard" -Sachin Tendulkar "During my secondary school, I was dropped from school basketball team" -MichelI Jordan "I was rejected for the job in All India Radio bcoz of my heavy voice" - Amitabh Bacchan "I used to work in petrol Bunks" - Dhirubhai Ambani "I was rejected in the interview of Pilot" - Abdul Kalam "I didn't even complete my university education" - Bill Gates "I was a dyslexic kid" - Tom Cruize "I was raped at the age of 9 " - Oprah Winfrey "I used to serve tea at a shop to support my football training" - Lionel Messi "I used to sleep on the floor in friends rooms, returning Coke bottles for food, money, and getting weekly free meals at a local temple" -Steve Jobs "My teachers used to call me a failure" - Tony Blair "I was in prison for 27 years" -Nelson Mandela. "At the age of 30, I was a bus conductor" -Rajnikant At the age of 19 worked in hotel washing plates and slept in kitchen. But now CEO of Esskay Industries - Sumanth Chandrashekhar He worked for a textile factory for six months, without anyone suspecting that his parents were movie stars. - SURYA sivakumar "Friends, there are many such people who struggled.. Life is not about what you couldn't do so far, it's about what you can still do. Wait n dont ever give up.. Miracles happen every day.... Rs.20 seems too much to give a beggar but it seems okay when its given as tip at a fancy restaurant. After a whole day of work, Hours at the gym seem alright but helping your Mother out at home seems like a burden. Praying to god for 3 min takes too much time but watching a movie for 3 hours doesn't. Wait a whole year for Valentine's day but we always forget Mother's day. Two poor starving kids sitting on the pavement weren't given even a slice of Bread but a painting of them sold for lakhs of Rupees. We don't think twice About forwarding jokes But we will rethink about sending this message on. Think about It.. Make a change. Coz u can ....

Six Easy ways to earn, even after death.

1) Give a smile or gift to someone.
Each time u gift or smile, it will make someone's day.....u gain.

2) Donate a wheelchair to a hospital. Each time sick person uses it, u gain.

3) Participate in building an orphanage, hospital, school or college.
Anybody uses it, u gain.

4) Place a water cooler in a public place. Anybody drinks water, u gain.

5) Plant a tree. Whenever a person, animal sits in its shade or eats from it, u gain.

6) And the easiest of all is to Share this message with people. Even if 1 applies any of the 
above, u gain.


The menu at a Bhelpuri shop....

1) Bhelpuri Rs. 10
2) Special Bhelpuri Rs 12
3) Very Special Bhelpuri Rs 15 
4) Extra Special Bhelpuri Rs 16
5) Double Extra Special Bhelpuri Rs.20
6) Sunday Special Bhelpuri Rs 25
(Sunday only)

To check each & every Bhelpuri for its different taste, I started eating a different one, everyday. . . . .

But soon I discovered that each & every one had the same taste of Bhelpuri.

Finally, one day I asked him the reason for the same taste, but difference in price ?
💷 💵 💴

Bhelwala said : Bhelpuri cost. . . . Rs 10

Special Bhelpuri means spoons washed ... 🍴

Very Special Bhelpuri means spoon and plates both washed ... 🍛🍴

Extra Special Bhelpuri means washing hands before putting the Bhel in the washed plates & serving with washed spoons... 👏

Double Extra Special Bhelpuri means clean drinking water is provided separately ... 💧
Saying this he fell silent.

Then I asked him, What is Sunday Special?

Belwala said : Sunday ... I bathe. . .



How Can You "SM_LE"
Without "I" ?
How Can You Be "F_NE" 
Without "I" ?
How Can You "W_SH"
Without "I" ?
How Can You Be "N_CE"
Without "I" ?
How Can You Be "FR_END"
Without "I" ?
"I" Am Very Important!

But This ' I ' Can Never Achieve "S_CCESS" nor Can "LA_GH" Without all of 'U' ......And
That Makes 'U' More Important Than 'I..👌👌👌👏👏


wife:Nanu Tappiskondre Niven Madtira?
hus:News Paperge Jahiratu Kodtini
wife:So sweet! Adrali Yenanta Baritira?
hus: Yelle iru, Hege iru, 
Alle iru.😂😂😂


शादी के बाद पहली बार बहू रसोई मे गई और रेसिपी बुक में पढ़कर खाना बना रही थी ।

सास बाहर से घर लौटी, फ्रिज खोला, अन्दर देखकर चकराई और पूछा:
"ये मन्दिर का घण्टा फ्रिज में क्यों रखा है ?"

बहू : "किताब में लिखा है, सब चीजों का मिश्रण कर लें और एक घण्टा फ्रिज में रखें ।"


Another graduate from IIN..
Girl :- Lets go for a dinner tonight.
Boy (IT guy) :- Ok.
Girl :- But where will you take me?
Boy :- We will go to Mint Food (an economic restaurant).
Girl :- No. That's a very cheap place. Let's go to Tomato's (A brutally costly place)
Boy :- *silence for a minute* Ok, See you at 7. I will pick you up from your place.
Boy picks up girl at 7, On the way...
Boy :- Once I had pani puri (a.k.a. gol-gappa, an indian street food) competition with my sister and she ate 30 pani-puris and defeated me.
Girl :- What's so difficult in it?
Boy :- Defeating me in Pani-puri eating competition is difficult.
Girl :- I can easily beat you.
Boy :- Please leave it. It's not your cup of tea.
Girl :- Let us have that competition right now.
Boy :- So you want to see yourself defeated?
Girl :- Let's see.
They both stop at a Pani-puri stall. They start eating. After about 30 Pani-puri the boy gave up. The girl was also full, but to defeat her boyfriend, she ate one more and shouted, "You lose."
The bill was 120rs
'The main aim of IT person is to satisfy customer with minimum investments  '😂😂😂😂😁😉
Winning attitude with less investment, ensuring strong ROI. Thats the IT


How to do root cause analysis... 😐

A Management lecturer was talking about Quality and it goes like that :

Lecturer : We all know Lord Ram went to spend 14 years in forest and Sita was kidnapped because of a quality issue. 😳

Student : How is this anything to do with quality? 😐

Lecturer : Tell me why did Sita go to forest with Ram ? 

Student : Because she was his wife and respects his every decision. 😒

Lecturer : OK but why did Ram go to forest ?

Student : Because his father Dasharatha told him to do so and he never deny his father. 😒

Lecturer : OK why did Dasharatha send his son to forest ?

Student : Dasharatha offered his wife (Kaikeyi) two boons , and she chose to make use of them in the future. And she wanted her son to be king, so on the day of Rama's crowning, she asked Dasharatha to send Rama to exile reminding him of his promising boons. 😏

Lecturer : So why did Dasharatha offer his wife two boons ?

Student : Because during a military campaign against Sambarasura, the wheel of Dasharatha's chariot broke and Sambarasura's arrow pierced the King's armor. She nursed the wounded King back to health. Touched by her courage and timely service, Dasharatha offered her two boons. 😟

Lecturer: Hence Proved. The quality of Chariot's wheel was not up to the mark hence leading to kidnapping of Sita...!!!! 😳

So the Quality is very important


Very nice article .. must read:          The below article is written by a lady Mrs. Chithra vishwanathan, 
who's a famous Cooking expert...

Really a good read! 

When my daughter, d elder one of my two children got married & 
left the house, 

I felt as if I could not let her leave me..

Having a daughter & a son, 
I know what both mean, but differently ..

Once my daughter reached her teens 
I had started feeling as if my daughter was a "physical extension" of me ! 

So when she was leaving home to set up her own nest, 
it was as though 
I was losing a limb...

The next time she came for a short stay with us, 
I was astonished how her priorities had changed. 
( ofcourse we must have given the same shocks to our own parents ! ). 

When she said Amma, 
she meant her MIL & not me! 

I imagined that she was always in a hurry to go back to her house & 
not stay with me for a few more days..

 That was the first time, 
it dawned on me that 
I have to start practising detachment in attachment...

Two years after 
my daughter’s marriage, 
my son left for higher stdies to U S. 
Having experienced a child's separation once, 
I was better equipped emotionally. 

I plunged head long into various classes held in the city starting from vedanta to healing to ikebana -
 I just wanted to be away from home..

 since my husband was a 7-7 worker 
& a workaholic. 

My son used to write how he was missing my home cooked food, 
how he was waiting to come back to live in Chennai with us etc...

After a few years, he did come back 
& we got him married. 

He started living separately with his wife & 
we were also happy that they wanted to be independant from the beginning...

But now, 
it was all changed ! 

When in the U S, 
he missed my cooking, now if I called him to come over with his wife for a meal, 
it was always some excuse like 
" oh, amma, we have other plans for the day, 
please don't mistake us if we don't drop in today " ! 

I could see that his priorities had also changed completely..

We talk in theory so many things & 
give advice to others etc 
but when it comes to your own children,

 acceptance comes very late & 
next step is just leaving them undisturbed 
in every way, 
mainly without advice from our end.

It was at that time, I made the following lines as my 
" new profile":
In all my relationships , rather interactions , I give my best. 
I work hard to mature & 
cherish them. 

My attachment with them is complete.

 However , I remain detached in the sense that I do not expect them to reciprocate my affection. 

Most importantly , 
I make a conscious effort , 
not to interfere or pass judgements on the lives they choose to lead. 

My concern for my near & dear ones will not fade with my detachment. 
If you let go of the ones you love , 
they will never go away – 
this is the beauty of attachment with detachment ! 

I have learnt to love & let go.
This dictum has developed tolerance in me. 
When I let the people live the way they want to , 
I learn to accept them for what they are. 

Most importantly , 
I learn to tolerate the world around me & 
this tolerance brings in me a sense of peace & contentment. 

I ask God to guide me in being loving , compassionate , tolerant & understanding when 
I interact with others. 
If a person wants to share a thought or concern with me 
I want that person to feel comfortable to do so. 
I want to remain peaceful & approachable to others. 

Before I speak , I pray to God to give me the right words so that I express myself clearly & with consideration to others.
Since both my children live in Chennai, I follow this very strictly, you know why ! 

Now I have realised that we start growing mentally much more only after the children leave the house & 
we have to tackle the emotional vacuum, 
that arises, along with age-related problems .

I find this is the most testing period for a woman, 
as well & emerging successfully is a slow process.
I specially dedicate this post to my  friends, 
who are  totally  dependant  on their  children's lives, 
to nurture their  own  selves  emotionally. 

Please develop your  own  intersts, hobbies  etc, however mundane they  seem to be..

We must learn
To love  whatever  we  do
instead of
Doing whatever we love !!