What is Pure love , How to know whether you purely love someone deeply

Pure love is a term that is often used to describe a feeling of unconditional and selfless devotion to another person. Pure love is not based on any external factors, such as appearance, status, wealth, or achievements. Pure love is not influenced by any selfish motives, such as lust, greed, or jealousy. Pure love is not dependent on any conditions, such as expectations, demands, or rewards. Pure love is a state of being that transcends the physical and emotional realms and connects two souls in a spiritual bond.

Characteristics of Pure Love

Pure love has many characteristics that distinguish it from other forms of love. Some of the characteristics of pure love are:

• Respect: Pure love respects the individuality and autonomy of the other person. It does not try to change, control, or manipulate them. It accepts them as they are and supports their growth and development.
• Trust: Pure love trusts the honesty and integrity of the other person. It does not doubt, suspect, or accuse them. It believes in their goodness and potential.
• Compassion: Pure love feels the pain and joy of the other person. It does not judge, criticize, or blame them. It empathizes with their feelings and needs and tries to help them in any way possible.
• Forgiveness: Pure love forgives the mistakes and shortcomings of the other person. It does not hold grudges, resentments, or bitterness. It understands that everyone is human and imperfect and learns from the experiences.
• Gratitude: Pure love appreciates the presence and contribution of the other person. It does not take them for granted or ignore them. It expresses gratitude for their existence and their role in one’s life.
• Generosity: Pure love gives without expecting anything in return. It does not calculate, bargain, or demand. It shares freely and joyfully whatever it has with the other person.
• Loyalty: Pure love stays faithful and committed to the other person. It does not cheat, betray, or abandon them. It stands by their side through thick and thin and honors their vows and promises.

 

 

How do you know if you purely love someone

Pure love is not something that can be easily measured or quantified. However, there are some signs that can indicate if one purely loves someone or not. Some of the signs are:

• You feel happy when they are happy and sad when they are sad.
• You put their happiness and well-being above your own.
• You do not feel jealous or insecure when they succeed or interact with others.
• You do not feel angry or hurt when they disagree or argue with you.
• You do not feel bored or restless when you spend time with them.
• You do not feel guilty or ashamed when you share your thoughts and feelings with them.
• You do not feel afraid or anxious when you think about your future with them.
• You feel a deep connection and harmony with them on a spiritual level.

Pure love is a rare and precious gift that can enrich one’s life and make it more meaningful and fulfilling. Pure love is not something that can be forced or fabricated. It is something that can only be discovered and nurtured within oneself and with another person who shares the same vision and values. Pure love is a journey that requires patience, courage, and dedication. But it is also a journey that rewards one with joy, peace, and bliss.

Have you experienced this pure blissful love , do share with us .  

Reasons why loving couples talk of divorce , how couples should avoid it

Couples are nowadays going crazy ! Some insights on the common reasons why partners who loved each other think of parting away, and how they should come out of this decision and live together leading a happy and satisfied married life . Nowadays couples are calling for a divorce for quite silly reasons -

• When a woman divorced her husband because he refused to shave his beard. A woman in India filed for divorce from her husband after he refused to shave his beard, which she found unattractive and irritating. She claimed that his beard made him look older and caused her skin problems. She also said that he ignored her requests and complaints about his facial hair. The husband, on the other hand, said that he liked his beard and that it was a part of his identity.
• When a man divorced his wife because she was obsessed with cats. A man in China filed for divorce from his wife after he discovered that she had secretly adopted more than 100 cats and kept them in their apartment. He said that he was allergic to cats and that he could not stand the smell and noise of the animals. He also said that his wife spent all their money on cat food and veterinary bills, and neglected their own child. The wife, however, said that she loved cats and that they were her family.
• When a woman divorced her husband because he was too handsome. A woman in Saudi Arabia filed for divorce from her husband after she felt insecure and jealous of his good looks. She said that she was afraid that he would cheat on her or leave her for another woman. She also said that she could not trust him or live with him peacefully. The husband, however, said that he was shocked and hurt by her decision, and that he loved her and wanted to stay with her.
• One woman divorced her husband because he talked too much and couldn’t keep any secrets to himself
• One man divorced his wife after he saw her without makeup and felt that she had deceived him with cosmetics
• One woman divorced her husband because he didn’t like the movie Frozen and questioned her taste
• One man divorced his wife because he built a wall in their home after it got dirty and she didn’t like it
• One woman divorced her husband after she won the lottery and tried to hide it from him

Wondering how after loving each other couples take decisions to part away citing silly reasons . Divorce is a complex and painful process that affects not only the couple, but also their children, families, friends, and communities. It is often the result of a combination of factors that erode the marital bond over time, such as:

Reasons

• Lack of commitment: Commitment is the foundation of any relationship. It means being loyal, faithful, supportive, and dedicated to your partner and your marriage. When one or both partners lose their commitment, they may start to think that the grass is greener on the other side, or that they would be better off without their spouse. They may also stop putting effort into making the relationship work, or neglect their partner’s needs and feelings.
• Infidelity: Infidelity is one of the most common and devastating reasons for divorce. It involves breaking the trust and intimacy that are essential for a healthy marriage. It can be physical or emotional, or both. It can be caused by various factors, such as dissatisfaction, boredom, insecurity, or temptation. It can also be a symptom of deeper issues in the relationship, such as lack of communication, respect, or affection.
• Conflict and arguing: Conflict and arguing are inevitable in any relationship. However, when they become frequent, intense, or destructive, they can damage the marital bond. Some couples may have incompatible personalities, values, or goals. Some may have poor communication or problem-solving skills. Some may have unresolved issues from their past or present. Some may have unrealistic expectations or assumptions about their partner or marriage.
• Lack of intimacy: Intimacy is the emotional and physical connection that makes a couple feel close and loved. It involves sharing thoughts, feelings, desires, and experiences with your partner. It also involves expressing affection, appreciation, and attraction through words and actions. When intimacy is lacking in a marriage, it can lead to feelings of loneliness, resentment, or rejection. It can also affect the sexual aspect of the relationship, which is another important source of bonding and satisfaction.
• Financial problems: Financial problems are a common source of stress and conflict in many marriages. They can arise from various factors, such as unemployment, debt, overspending, under-earning, or different financial goals or habits. They can also affect other aspects of the relationship, such as lifestyle choices, leisure activities, or family planning. Financial problems can create resentment, anxiety, or insecurity in one or both partners.

 

 

The Impact on couples and their families

Divorce is not only a legal process, but also a psychological and social one. It can have negative impacts on one’s self and family, such as:

• Emotional distress: Divorce can cause a range of emotional reactions, such as sadness, anger, guilt, fear, anxiety, or depression. These emotions can affect one’s mood, behavior, health, or performance. They can also interfere with one’s ability to cope with the changes and challenges that divorce brings. Some people may experience grief over the loss of their marriage, or trauma from the events that led to the divorce. Some people may feel lonely, isolated, or rejected by their former spouse or others. Some people may have low self-esteem, self-confidence, or self-worth after the divorce.
• Financial hardship: Divorce can cause financial difficulties for both parties, especially if they have children or dependents. They may have to divide their assets, debts, and income. They may have to pay or receive alimony or child support. They may have to adjust to a lower standard of living or a different lifestyle. They may have to deal with legal fees or other expenses related to the divorce. They may also face challenges in finding or maintaining a job, especially if they have been out of the workforce for a long time.
• Parenting problems: Divorce can affect the parenting roles and responsibilities of both parents, as well as the well-being and development of their children. They may have to decide on the custody, visitation, and care arrangements for their children. They may have to communicate and cooperate with each other on parenting issues, such as education, health, discipline, or activities. They may have to deal with the emotional and behavioral reactions of their children, such as confusion, anger, sadness, anxiety, or rebellion. They may also have to balance their own needs and interests with those of their children.
• Family conflicts: Divorce can affect the relationships between the divorcing couple and their extended family members, such as parents, siblings, grandparents, or relatives. They may have to deal with the reactions and opinions of their family members regarding the divorce. They may have to cope with the changes in their family structure and dynamics. They may have to face the loss or reduction of contact or support from some of their family members. They may also have to deal with the involvement or interference of new partners or stepfamilies in their lives.

These are some of the negative impacts that divorce can have on one’s self and family. However, they are not inevitable or permanent consequences that doom one’s future to misery. On the contrary, they are challenges that can be overcome with the right attitude and actions

How to avoid

Here are some tips on how to prevent divorce and strengthen your marriage:

• Reaffirm your commitment: Remind yourself and your partner why you got married in the first place. Think about the positive qualities that attracted you to each other. Think about the vows that you made to each other. Think about the goals that you have achieved together. Think about the memories that you have shared together. Renew your commitment to your partner and your marriage every day.
• Seek professional help. A professional can help you identify the root causes of your problems, understand each other’s perspectives, improve your communication and conflict resolution skills, rebuild your trust and intimacy, and create a plan for positive change.
• Forgive and apologize: Forgiveness is a key ingredient for healing and reconciliation in any relationship. Forgiveness means letting go of anger, resentment, or bitterness towards your partner for hurting you in some way. It does not mean condoning, forgetting, or excusing their behavior. It means choosing to move forward with compassion, understanding, and hope. Apology is another key ingredient for healing and reconciliation in any relationship. Apology means acknowledging your responsibility for hurting your partner in some way, expressing your regret and remorse, and asking for their forgiveness. It does not mean blaming, justifying, or minimizing your behavior. It means choosing to admit your mistake with honesty, humility, and sincerity. Forgive and apologize to each other as soon as possible after a conflict or a betrayal.
• Honor and respect your partner: Honor and respect are essential for any relationship. Honor means treating your partner with dignity, courtesy, and kindness. It means valuing their opinions, preferences, and feelings. It means supporting their dreams, aspirations, and achievements. Respect means accepting your partner for who they are, without trying to change them. It means acknowledging their strengths, weaknesses, and differences. It means appreciating their contributions, efforts, and sacrifices. Honor and respect your partner in your words and actions every day.
• Communicate regularly: Communication is the lifeline of any relationship. Communication means expressing your thoughts, feelings, needs, and desires to your partner in a clear, honest, and respectful way. It also means listening to your partner’s thoughts, feelings, needs, and desires in a attentive, empathetic, and respectful way. Communication helps you to understand each other better, resolve conflicts effectively, and build intimacy and trust. Communicate with your partner regularly and openly every day.
• Share financial expectations: Financial expectations are the beliefs and assumptions that you and your partner have about money and how it should be managed in your marriage. Financial expectations can vary depending on your income level, spending habits, saving goals, debt situation, or family background. Financial expectations can cause conflict or stress in your marriage if they are not aligned or communicated clearly. Share your financial expectations with your partner and try to reach a mutual agreement on how to handle money matters in your marriage. Create a realistic budget, track your expenses, pay off your debts, save for the future, and avoid unnecessary spending. Seek financial advice if you need help with managing your finances.
• Spice up your intimacy: Intimacy is the spice of any relationship. Intimacy means sharing your innermost self with your partner and allowing them to do the same with you. It also means showing your love and attraction for your partner in physical and sensual ways. Intimacy can fade or become routine in a marriage if you neglect it or take it for granted. Spice up your intimacy with your partner and try to keep it fresh and exciting. Spend quality time together, talk about your fantasies, try new things, surprise each other, compliment each other, touch each other, kiss each other, and make love to each other.

These are some of the tips found to be effective in preventing divorce and strengthening marriage. However, they are not magic formulas that guarantee success. They require commitment, effort, and patience from both partners. They also require willingness to change, adapt, and grow as individuals and as a couple.

Divorce is not inevitable or irreversible. It is a choice that you and your partner can make or avoid. If you love each other and want to stay together, you can make it work. You can overcome the challenges that you face and create a happy and satisfying married life.

 

10 points to know whether you are romantic or unromantic

Romance is the spice of life, especially when it comes to relationships. Romance is the expression of love, affection, and intimacy that makes your partner feel special, appreciated, and desired. Romance can also keep the spark alive in your relationship and prevent boredom, monotony, and resentment. However, romance is not something that comes naturally to everyone. Some people may struggle with being romantic or may not know how to show their romantic side to their partner. In this article, we will explore some questions to evaluate whether you are romantic or not, and some tips on how to be more romantic with your partner.

Romance is not a one-size-fits-all concept. Different people may have different definitions and expectations of romance. What may seem romantic to one person may seem cheesy or cliché to another. Therefore, it is important to understand your own and your partner’s preferences and needs when it comes to romance. Here are some questions you can ask yourself to evaluate whether you are romantic or not:

• Do you pay attention to your partner’s likes and dislikes, interests and hobbies, dreams and goals?
• Do you surprise your partner with thoughtful gestures, such as flowers, chocolates, cards, or gifts?
• Do you compliment your partner on their appearance, personality, skills, or achievements?
• Do you express your love and appreciation for your partner verbally or in writing?
• Do you plan special dates or outings for your partner, such as dinner, movie, picnic, or spa?
• Do you cuddle, kiss, hug, or hold hands with your partner regularly?
• Do you initiate or respond to your partner’s sexual advances enthusiastically and creatively?
• Do you support your partner emotionally and practically when they are going through a tough time?
• Do you celebrate your partner’s milestones and achievements with them?
• Do you respect your partner’s boundaries and preferences when it comes to romance?

If you answered yes to most of these questions, then you are probably a romantic person who knows how to make your partner feel loved and cherished. If you answered no to most of these questions, then you may need to work on your romantic skills and learn how to be more romantic with your partner.

 

Tips on bring romantic with Your Partner

Being romantic is not rocket science. It does not require a lot of money, time, or effort. It just requires a bit of creativity, sincerity, and willingness. Here are some tips on how to be more romantic with your partner:

• Communicate with your partner. Communication is the key to any successful relationship, including romance. Talk to your partner about their expectations and needs when it comes to romance. Ask them what they like and dislike, what makes them happy and sad, what turns them on and off. Listen to them attentively and empathetically. Share your own feelings and thoughts with them as well.
• Be spontaneous. Romance does not have to be planned or predictable. Sometimes, the most romantic moments are the ones that happen spontaneously and unexpectedly. Surprise your partner with a random gesture of love, such as a text message, a phone call, a note, a flower, a kiss, or a hug. Catch them off guard and make them smile.
• Be adventurous. Romance does not have to be boring or routine. Sometimes, the most romantic moments are the ones that involve trying something new and exciting with your partner. Explore new places, activities, cuisines, or fantasies with your partner. Challenge yourselves and have fun.
• Be attentive. Romance does not have to be grand or extravagant. Sometimes, the most romantic moments are the ones that involve paying attention to the small details that matter to your partner. Notice their mood, their appearance, their preferences, their needs. Show them that you care and that you notice them.
• Be affectionate. Romance does not have to be verbal or physical. Sometimes, the most romantic moments are the ones that involve showing affection in subtle and simple ways. Touch your partner gently, look into their eyes, smile at them, hold their hand, caress their hair, rub their back. Show them that you love them and that you want them.

Being romantic with your partner is not a chore or a duty. It is a privilege and a pleasure. It is a way of expressing your love, affection, and intimacy that makes your relationship stronger, happier, and healthier. Being romantic with your partner is not hard or complicated. It is easy and simple. It just requires a bit of creativity, sincerity, and willingness. So go ahead and be romantic with your partner today. You will be glad you did.

10 things girls do not share with boyfriend unless asked

Girls are often stereotyped as being talkative, emotional, and expressive. However, girls are human beings too, and they have secrets, thoughts, and desires that they may not always feel comfortable sharing with their boyfriends. Here are 10 things that girls do not share with their boyfriends unless asked.

1. They compare themselves to other girls.

Girls may act like they are confident and happy with themselves, but they compare themselves to other girls too. They may compare their looks, their clothes, their skills, their personality, or anything else that makes them feel insecure or jealous. However, they may not share this with their boyfriends, because they don't want to seem vain or petty.
 

2. They have crushes on other guys.

Girls may seem like they are loyal and devoted to their boyfriends, but they have crushes on other guys too. They may have crushes on celebrities, coworkers, friends, or anyone else that makes them feel attracted or intrigued. However, they may not reveal this to their boyfriends, because they don't want to seem unfaithful or disinterested.
 

3. They have fantasies.

Girls may pretend to be conservative and modest, but they have fantasies too. They may fantasize about romantic scenarios, erotic situations, adventurous experiences, or anything else that makes them feel excited or aroused. However, they may not disclose this to their boyfriends, because they don't want to seem wild or weird.

4. They have regrets.

Girls may act like they have no regrets and live in the moment, but they have regrets too. They may regret dating someone, doing something, saying something, or anything else that makes them feel guilty or embarrassed. However, they may not admit this to their boyfriends, because they don't want to seem sorry or shameful.

5. They have dreams.

Girls may behave like they have no dreams and are content with what they have, but they have dreams too. They may dream of achieving something big, changing something in the world, creating something new, or anything else that makes them feel inspired or motivated. However, they may not share this with their boyfriends, because they don't want to seem ambitious or unrealistic.

6. They have opinions.

Girls may seem like they have no opinions and agree with everything their boyfriends say,
but they have opinions too. They may have opinions about politics, religion,culture,art,or anything else that makes them feel curious or passionate. However, they may not voice their opinions with their boyfriends, because they don't want to seem argumentative or disrespectful.

7. They have hobbies.

Girls may look like they have no hobbies and spend all their time with their boyfriends,
but they have hobbies too. They may have hobbies like painting, dancing, writing, or anything else that makes them feel entertained or relaxed.However, they may not talk about their hobbies with their boyfriends, because they don't want to seem boring or distracted.

8. They have friends.

Girls may sound like they have no friends and only care about their boyfriends, but they have friends too. They may have friends who support them, challenge them, make them laugh, or anything else that makes them feel happy or comfortable. However, they may not mention their friends with their boyfriends,
because they don't want to seem disloyal or unfaithful.

9. They have secrets.

Girls may show like they have no secrets and are transparent with their boyfriends, but they have secrets too. They may have secrets about their past, their family, their health, or anything else that makes them feel scared or ashamed. However, they may not confess their secrets with their boyfriends, because they don't want to seem dishonest or vulnerable.

10. They have feelings.

Girls may appear like they have no feelings and only act rationally, but they have feelings too. They may feel joy, sadness, anger, surprise, disgust, or anything else that makes them feel human or alive. However,
they may not express their feelings with their boyfriends, because they don't want to seem emotional or irrational.

Girls are complex and diverse creatures who have more than meets the eye. They have things that
they do not share with their boyfriends unless asked. However, this does not mean that they do not love or trust their boyfriends. It just means that they need some encouragement and understanding from their boyfriends to open up and be themselves. So boys, if you want to know more about your girlfriend,
don't be afraid to ask her questions, listen to her attentively, and show her affection and respect.
You may be surprised by what you discover.

10 things guys feel shy to express with their girlfriend

Boys are often stereotyped as being tough, stoic, and emotionless. However, boys are human beings too, and they have feelings, thoughts, and desires that they may not always feel comfortable expressing with their girlfriend. Here are 10 things that boys usually feel shy to express with their girlfriend and do not share directly.

1. They love compliments.

Boys may act like they don't care about how they look or what they do, but deep down, they crave validation and appreciation from their girlfriend. They love to hear compliments about their appearance, their skills, their personality, or anything else that makes them feel good about themselves. However, they may not ask for compliments or admit that they need them, because they don't want to seem needy or insecure.

2. They have insecurities.

Boys may seem confident and self-assured, but they have insecurities too. They may worry about their body image, their performance, their career, their future, or anything else that makes them feel inadequate or uncertain. However, they may not share their insecurities with their girlfriend, because they don't want to seem weak or vulnerable.

3. They have fears.

Boys may appear brave and fearless, but they have fears too. They may fear losing their girlfriend, failing in their goals, disappointing their family, facing rejection, or anything else that makes them feel anxious or scared. However, they may not express their fears with their girlfriend, because they don't want to seem cowardly or pathetic.

4. They have fantasies.

Boys may pretend to be realistic and practical, but they have fantasies too. They may fantasize about traveling the world, becoming famous, having superpowers, or anything else that makes them feel excited or adventurous. However, they may not reveal their fantasies with their girlfriend, because they don't want to seem childish or foolish.

5. They have regrets.

Boys may act like they have no regrets and live in the present, but they have regrets too. They may regret hurting someone, missing an opportunity, making a mistake, or anything else that makes them feel guilty or remorseful. However, they may not confess their regrets with their girlfriend, because they don't want to seem sorry or shameful.

6. They have dreams.

Boys may behave like they have no dreams and settle for what they have, but they have dreams too. They may dream of achieving something big, changing something in the world, creating something new, or anything else that makes them feel inspired or motivated. However, they may not share their dreams with their girlfriend, because they don't want to seem ambitious or unrealistic.

7. They have opinions.

Boys may seem like they have no opinions and agree with everything their girlfriend says, but they have opinions too. They may have opinions about politics, religion, culture, art, or anything else that makes them feel curious or passionate. However, they may not voice their opinions with their girlfriend, because they don't want to seem argumentative or disrespectful.

8. They have hobbies.

Boys may look like they have no hobbies and spend all their time with their girlfriend, but they have hobbies too. They may have hobbies like playing video games, watching sports, reading books, or anything else that makes them feel entertained or relaxed. However, they may not talk about their hobbies with their girlfriend, because they don't want to seem boring or distracted.

9. They have friends.

Boys may sound like they have no friends and only care about their girlfriend, but they have friends too. They may have friends who support them, challenge them, make them laugh, or anything else that makes them feel happy or comfortable. However, they may not mention their friends with their girlfriend, because they don't want to seem disloyal or unfaithful.

10. They have feelings.

Boys may show like they have no feelings and only think logically, but they have feelings too. They may feel joy, sadness, anger, surprise, disgust, or anything else that makes them feel human or alive. However, they may not express their feelings with their girlfriend,
because they don't want to seem emotional or irrational.

Boys are complex and diverse creatures who have more than meets the eye. They have things that they feel shy to express with their girlfriend and do not share directly. However, this does not mean that they do not love or trust their girlfriend. It just means that they need some encouragement and understanding from their girlfriend to open up and be themselves. So girls, if you want to know more about your boyfriend, don't be afraid to ask him questions, listen to him attentively, and show him affection and respect. You may be surprised by what you discover.

10 unspoken things between wife and husband but expect from each other

A wife may not always verbalize her expectations from her husband, but that does not mean she does not have any. She may have some unspoken needs and desires that she hopes her husband will fulfill, or some silent complaints that she wishes her husband will address. Here are few points which wide does not speak about but expects from her husband:

1. She expects him to listen to her attentively and empathetically when she shares her feelings, thoughts, or experiences. She does not want him to interrupt, judge, or offer solutions unless she asks for them. She just wants him to be there for her and show that he cares.
2. She expects him to appreciate her efforts and achievements, whether they are big or small. She wants him to notice and acknowledge the things she does for him, for their family, or for herself. She wants him to compliment her and celebrate her successes with her.
3. She expects him to respect her opinions and preferences, even if they are different from his. She wants him to value her input and perspective, and not dismiss or criticize them. She wants him to support her decisions and choices, and not undermine or overrule them.
4. She expects him to communicate with her openly and honestly. She wants him to share his feelings, thoughts, or experiences with her, and not hide or lie about them. She wants him to express his needs and desires, and not expect her to read his mind. She wants him to tell her what he likes and dislikes, what he wants and doesn't want, what he is happy or unhappy about.
5. She expects him to spend quality time with her regularly. She wants him to make her a priority and show interest in her life. She wants him to do things with her that they both enjoy, or try new things that she suggests. She wants him to be present and attentive, and not distracted or bored.
6. She expects him to be affectionate and romantic with her. She wants him to hug her, kiss her, hold her hand, cuddle with her, and make love to her. She wants him to surprise her with flowers, chocolates, cards, or gifts. She wants him to say "I love you" often, and mean it.
7. She expects him to be loyal and faithful to her. She wants him to be committed and devoted to their marriage, and not flirt with or cheat on her with other women. She wants him to respect their vows and honor their bond.
8. She expects him to be supportive and encouraging of her dreams and goals. She wants him to help her pursue her passions and interests, and not hold her back or discourage her. She wants him to cheer her on and motivate her when she faces challenges or setbacks.
9. She expects him to be respectful and polite to her family and friends. She wants him to get along with them and treat them well, even if he does not like them or agree with them. She wants him to attend family gatherings and social events with her, and not complain or make excuses.
10. She expects him to be responsible and reliable in his roles as a husband, father, provider, etc. She wants him to do his share of household chores  and childcare duties , and not leave them all to her. She wants him to manage his finances  wisely and contribute to their savings . She wants him to take care of his health  and well-being , and not neglect or abuse them.
11. She expects him to be fun-loving and adventurous with her. She wants him to have a sense of humor  and make her laugh . She wants him to be spontaneous  and surprise her with fun activities or trips . She wants him
to be willing to try new things  with her, whether they are foods , hobbies , sports , etc.
12. She expects him to be understanding

A husband may not always verbalize his expectations from his wife, but that does not mean he does not have any. He may have some unspoken needs and desires that he hopes his wife will fulfill, or some silent complaints that he wishes his wife will address. Here are few aspects that a husband does not speak about but expects from his wife -

1. He expects her to respect him and his opinions, even if they are different from hers. He wants her to value his input and perspective, and not dismiss or criticize them. He wants her to support his decisions and choices, and not undermine or overrule them.
2. He expects her to appreciate him and his efforts, whether they are big or small. He wants her to notice and acknowledge the things he does for her, for their family, or for himself. He wants her to compliment him and celebrate his successes with him.
3. He expects her to listen to him attentively and empathetically when he shares his feelings, thoughts, or experiences. He does not want her to interrupt, judge, or offer solutions unless he asks for them. He just wants her to be there for him and show that she cares.
4. He expects her to communicate with him openly and honestly. He wants her to share her feelings, thoughts, or experiences with him, and not hide or lie about them. He wants her to express her needs and desires, and not expect him to read her mind. He wants her to tell him what she likes and dislikes, what she wants and doesn't want, what she is happy or unhappy about.
5. He expects her to spend quality time with him regularly. He wants her to make him a priority and show interest in his life. He wants her to do things with him that they both enjoy, or try new things that he suggests. He wants her to be present and attentive, and not distracted or bored.
6. He expects her to be affectionate and romantic with him. He wants her to hug him, kiss him, hold his hand, cuddle with him, and make love to him. He wants her to surprise him with flowers, chocolates, cards, or gifts. He wants her to say "I love you" often, and mean it.
7. He expects her to be loyal and faithful to him. He wants her to be committed and devoted to their marriage, and not flirt with or cheat on him with other men. He wants her to respect their vows and honor their bond.
8. He expects her to be supportive and encouraging of his dreams and goals. He wants her to help him pursue his passions and interests, and not hold him back or discourage him. He wants her to cheer him on and motivate him when he faces challenges or setbacks.
9. He expects her to be respectful and polite to his family and friends. He wants her to get along with them and treat them well, even if she does not like them or agree with them. He wants her to attend family gatherings and social events with him, and not complain or make excuses.
10. He expects her to be responsible and reliable in her roles as a wife, mother, homemaker, etc. He wants her to do her share of household chores  and childcare duties , and not leave them all to him. He wants her to manage their finances  wisely and contribute to their savings . He wants her to take care of her health  and well-being , and not neglect or abuse them.
11. He expects her to be fun-loving and adventurous with him. He wants her to have a sense of humor  and make him laugh . He wants her to be spontaneous  and surprise him with fun activities or trips . He wants her to be willing to try new things  with him, whether they are foods , hobbies , sports , etc.
12. He expects her to be understanding

Happy living !

A story from husband diary after losing his wife

ಪತ್ನಿ ತೀರಿಕೊಂಡು ಇಂದಿಗೆ ನಾಲ್ಕು ದಿನಗಳಾಯಿತು.... 

ಆಕೆಯ ಅಂತ್ಯಸಂಸ್ಕಾರಕ್ಕೆ ಆಗಮಿಸಿದ ಸಂಬಂಧಿಕರು ಒಬ್ಬೊಬ್ಬರಾಗಿ ಹೊರಟು ಹೋದರು...
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ಕೊನೆಗೆ ಸಾವಿನ ಗಂಧವಿರುವ ಆ ಮನೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ನಾನು ಮತ್ತು ನನ್ನ  ಮಕ್ಕಳು ಮಾತ್ರವಾಗಿ ಬಾಕಿಯಾದೆವು...
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*ಆಕೆ ಜೊತೆಯಲ್ಲಿಲ್ಲ ಎಂಬುದನ್ನು ನಂಬುವುದಕ್ಕೂ ನನಗೆ ಕಷ್ಟವಾಗುತ್ತಿದೆ....*
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*ರೀ... ಇಲ್ಲಿ ನೋಡಿ...*  ಅಂತ ಹೇಳುತ್ತಾ ನನ್ನ ಬಳಿ ಓಡಿ ಬರುವುದನ್ನು ನಿನ್ನೆ ಎಂಬಂತೆ ನಾನು ನೆನಪಿಸಿಕೊಂಡೆ...
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*ನಮ್ಮನ್ನು ಪ್ರಾಣಕ್ಕಿಂತ ಹೆಚ್ಚಾಗಿ ಪ್ರೀತಿಸಿ ಸೋತು ಹೋದ ನತದೃಷ್ಟೆಯಾಗಿದ್ದಳು ಆಕೆ.....*
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ನಮ್ಮ ಮೇಲಿನ ಅತಿಯಾದ ಪ್ರೀತಿಯಿಂದಲೇ ಇರಬೇಕು ಆಕೆ ಯಾವತ್ತೂ ನಮ್ಮಿಂದ ದೂರ ಹೋಗಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ....

ತವರು ಮನೆಗೆ ಹೋದರೂ ಕೂಡಾ ಮನೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಅವರು ಮತ್ತು ಮಕ್ಕಳು ಮಾತ್ರ ಇರೋದು ಅಂತ ಕಾರಣ ಹೇಳಿ ಸಂಜೆಯಾಗುತ್ತಲೇ ಓಡೋಡಿ ಮನೆ ತಲುಪುತ್ತಿದ್ದಳು...
ನಿಜವಾಗಿಯೂ ಆಕೆ ಆಕೆಯ ಮನೆಗೆ ಹೋಗುವುದು ನನಗೆ ಇಷ್ಟವಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ....   ಅದು ಆಕೆಯ ಮೇಲಿನ ಪ್ರೀತಿಯಿಂದಾಗಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ. ಬದಲಾಗಿ, ಆಕೆ ಹೋದರೆ, ನಮಗೆ ಅಡುಗೆ ಮಾಡಿ ಬಡಿಸುವವರು ಯಾರೂ ಇಲ್ಲ ಎಂಬ  *ಸ್ವಾರ್ಥ* ಕಾರಣವಾಗಿತ್ತು...

ನಾನು ಮತ್ತು ಮಕ್ಕಳು ರಜಾದಿನಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಟಿ ವಿಯ ಮುಂದೆ ಒಂದೊಂದು ಕಾರ್ಯಕ್ರಮವನ್ನು ನೋಡಿ ಖುಷಿಪಡುವಾಗ, ಅಡುಗೆ ಮನೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಅಡುಗೆ ಮಾಡುವುದರಲ್ಲಿ  ನಿರತಳಾಗಿರುತ್ತಿದ್ದಳು ಆಕೆ...

ಯಾವಾಗಲಾದರೂ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಟಿ ವಿ ನೋಡೋದಕ್ಕೆ ನಮ್ಮ ಜೊತೆ ಬಂದು ಕುಳಿತರೆ, - *ಅಮ್ಮಾ ನೀರು...*
*ಲೇ.. ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಟೀ ಮಾಡು...* *ಫ್ಯಾನ್  ಹಾಕು...*
ಅಂತ ಎಲ್ಲಾ ಹೇಳಿ ಆಕೆಯನ್ನು ನಾವು ಆ ಅಡುಗೆ ಕೋಣೆಗೇ ವಾಪಾಸ್  ಕಳುಹಿಸುತ್ತಿದ್ದೆವು...

ನಾನು ಹೇಳದೆಯೇ ಎಲ್ಲವನ್ನೂ ಅರ್ಥ ಮಾಡಿಕೊಂಡು ನನ್ನ ಎಲ್ಲಾ ಕೆಲಸಗಳನ್ನೂ ಮಾಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದಳು...  

*ಇಂದು ಈಗ ಒಂದು ಕಪ್ ಟೀ ಮಾಡಿಕೊಡಲಿಕ್ಕೋ...,*
*ಒಂದು ಲೋಟ ನೀರು ಕೊಡಲಿಕ್ಕೋ, ಆಕೆ ಜೊತೆಯಲ್ಲಿಲ್ಲ ಎಂಬ ಕಟು ಸತ್ಯವನ್ನು ನಾನು ನೋವಿನಿಂದಲೇ ಅರಿತೆ.....*

ಯಾವುದಕ್ಕೂ ಆಕೆ ದೂರುಗಳನ್ನು ಹೇಳಿದವಳಲ್ಲಾ... ಒಂದು ಒಳ್ಳೆಯ ಸೀರೆ ಕೂಡಾ ನಾನು ಖರೀದಿಸಿಕೊಟ್ಟಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ‌......
ಒಂದು ಸಿನೆಮಾ ನೋಡಲು ಕೂಡಾ ಆಕೆಯನ್ನು ಜೊತೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕರಕ್ಕೊಂಡೋಗಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ...
ಕ್ಲಬ್, ಪಾರ್ಟಿ ಅಂತ ನಾನು ತಡವಾಗಿ ಮನೆಗೆ ಬರುವಾಗ ಆಕೆ ಗಾಬರಿಯಿಂದ  "ಯಾಕೆ ತಡವಾಯಿತು...?"  ಅಂತ ಕೇಳುವಾಗ ನಾನು ಆಕೆಯ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆಯನ್ನು ಲೆಕ್ಕಿಸದೆ ನಿರ್ಲಕ್ಷಿಸುತ್ತಿದ್ದೆ.....

*ರೀ... ನೋಡಿ.. ಕರೆಂಟ್ ಬಿಲ್ ಪಾವತಿಸಬೇಕಾದ ಕೊನೆಯ ದಿನ ನಾಳೆ...*

ನೋಡಿ ಹಾಲಿನವನಿಗೆ ದುಡ್ಡು ಕೊಡಬೇಕಾದ ಸಮಯ ಹತ್ತಿರ ಬಂತು...

*ಪೇಪರ್ ನವ ನಿನ್ನೆ ದುಡ್ಡು ಕೇಳಿ ಹೋದ...*

ಮಕ್ಕಳ ಶಾಲೆಯ ಫೀಸ್ ನಾಳೆನೇ ಕೊಡಬೇಕು ರೀ.....

*ನೋಡಿ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಬಿ ಪಿ ಯ ಮಾತ್ರೆ ಖಾಲಿಯಾಗಿದೆ...*

ಹಾಗೆ ಆಕೆಯ ಬಯಕೆ ಮತ್ತು ಬೇಡಿಕೆಗಳನ್ನು ಬಿಟ್ಟು, ಉಳಿದ  ಎಲ್ಲವನ್ನೂ ಸಮಯಕ್ಕೆ ಸರಿಯಾಗಿ ಆಕೆ ನೆನಪಿಸುವಳು.....

*ಇನ್ನು ಹಾಗೆ ನೆನಪಿಸುವವರು ಯಾರೂ ಇಲ್ಲ..* 😔

ರಾತ್ರಿ ಕೆಲಸವೆಲ್ಲಾ ಮುಗಿಸಿ, ನನ್ನ ಪಕ್ಕದಲ್ಲಿ ಬಂದು ಮಲಗುವಾಗ, ಎದೆ ನೋಯುತ್ತಿದೆ, ಕಾಲು ನೋಯುತ್ತಿದೆ ಅಂತ ಆಕೆ ಹೇಳುವಾಗ, -  *ಅದು ನಿನಗೆ ಮನೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಏನೂ ಕೆಲಸವಿಲ್ಲದೆ ಸುಮ್ಮನೆ ಕುಳಿತುಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತಿಯಲ್ಲಾ..*
   *ಬೆಳಿಗ್ಗೆ ಐದು ಗಂಟೆಗೆ ಎದ್ದು ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ವಾಕಿಂಗ್ ಮಾಡಿದರೆ ಎಲ್ಲಾ ಸರಿಹೋಗುತ್ತೆ.."'*  ಅಂತ ನಾನು ಹೇಳುವಾಗ, ಆಕೆಯ ಕಣ್ಣುಗಳು ತುಂಬುವುದನ್ನು ನಾನು ನೋಡದ ಹಾಗೆ ನಟಿಸುತ್ತಾ ತಿರುಗಿ ಮಲಗುತ್ತಿದ್ದೆ...!!

*ಕೊನೆಗೆ ಆ ಎದೆ ನೋವು ಹಾರ್ಟ್ ಅ್ಯಟೇಕ್ ನ ರೂಪದಲ್ಲಿ ಬಂದು ಆಕೆಯನ್ನು ಕರಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಗುವಷ್ಟರಲ್ಲಿ ಆಕೆಯ ನೋವನ್ನು ಅರ್ಥಮಾಡಿಕೊಳ್ಳಲು ತುಂಬಾ ತಡಮಾಡಿಬಿಟ್ಟೆ...*
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ಮನೆಗೆಲಸಗಳನ್ನು ಮಾಡುತ್ತಾ , ಆಕೆಯ ನೆನಪುಗಳೊಂದಿಗೆ ಇಂದಿಗೆ ನಾಲ್ಕು ದಿನಗಳನ್ನು ದೂಡಿ ಮುಗಿಸಿದೆ... "ಮನೆಗೆಲಸ ಅಷ್ಟು ಸುಲಭವಲ್ಲ" ಎಂಬ ಕಟುಸತ್ಯವನ್ನು ಬಹುಬೇಗನೆ ಅರಿತುಕೊಂಡೆ.....

ಆಕೆಯನ್ನು ದೂರಿದ ದಿನಗಳನ್ನು, ಚುಚ್ಚು ಮಾತುಗಳಿಂದ ಆಕೆಯನ್ನು ನೋಯಿಸಿದ ದಿನಗಳನ್ನು ನಾನು ಶಪಿಸುತ್ತಾ ಸ್ವತಃ ಮರುಗತೊಡಗಿದೆ....

ನಾನು ಕೆಲಸಕ್ಕೆ ಹೋಗಲು ಹೊರಡುವಾಗ, ಐರನ್ ಮಾಡಿಟ್ಟ ಬಟ್ಟೆಗಾಗಿ ಹುಡುಕಾಡಿದೆ.....

*ರೀ... ನೀವು ಈ ನೀಲಿ ಬಣ್ಣದ ಶರ್ಟ್,  ಕ್ರೀಮ್ ಕಲರ್  ಪ್ಯಾಂಟ್ ಧರಿಸಿ... ಇದು ನಿಮಗೆ ಚೆನ್ನಾಗಿ ಕಾಣಿಸುತ್ತಿದೆ"*... ಅಂತ ಆಕೆ ಹೇಳುವ  ಹಾಗೆ   ನನಗೆ ಅನಿಸಿತು......
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ಸಂಜೆ ಕೆಲಸ ಮುಗಿಸಿ ಮನೆಗೆ ಬಂದಾಗ  ನನಗಾಗಿ ಯಾರೂ ನಗುಮುಖ'ದಿಂದ  ಬಾಗಿಲು ತೆರೆಯಲಿಲ್ಲ.....!!
ನನ್ನ ಬರುವಿಕೆಗಾಗಿ ಯಾರೂ ಹಸಿವು ತಡೆದು  ಕಾದು ಕೂರಲಿಲ್ಲ....
*ಯಾಕೆ ಇಷ್ಟು ತಡಮಾಡಿ ಬಂದಿದ್ದೀರಿ* ಅಂತ ಯಾರೂ ನನ್ನತ್ರ ಗಾಬರಿಯಿಂದ ಕೇಳಲಿಲ್ಲ....

ಕೊನೆಗೆ ನಾನು ಬಾಗಿಲನ್ನು ದೂಡಿ ಒಳಗೆ ಹೋದಾಗ, ಹಾಲ್ ನಲ್ಲಿ ನಾನು ಬಂದದ್ದು ಕೂಡಾ ಅರಿಯದೆ, ಮಕ್ಕಳು ಮೊಬೈಲ್ ನಲ್ಲಿ ಮಗ್ನರಾಗಿದ್ದರು...  ಅವರ ಪಕ್ಕದಲ್ಲಿ ತಿಂದ ಪಾತ್ರೆಗಳು ಎಲ್ಲವೂ ಚೆಲ್ಲಾಪಿಲ್ಲಿಯಾಗಿ ಬಿದ್ದಿದ್ದನ್ನು ನಾನು ದುಃಖದಿಂದ ನೋಡಿದೆ....

ಆಕೆ'ಯಿದ್ದಾಗ ಸ್ವಚ್ಛವಾಗಿದ್ದ ಮನೆಯು ಇಂದು ಆಕೆಯಿಲ್ಲದಾಗ ಹೀನವಾಗಿ ಇರುವ ಮನೆಯ ಅವ್ಯವಸ್ಥೆಯನ್ನು ನೋಡಿ, ನನ್ನ ಹೃದಯವು ಮರುಗಿತು...

ಸ್ನಾನ ಮುಗಿಸಿ, ಒಂದು ಕಪ್ ಟೀ ಗಾಗಿ ನಾನು ಅಡುಗೆ ಮನೆಗೆ ಹೋದೆ...
ವಾಷ್ ಬೆಯ್ಸನ್ ನಲ್ಲಿ
ಊಟ ಮಾಡಿದ ತಟ್ಟೆಗಳು ಮತ್ತು ನೂಡಲ್ಸ್ ನ ಖಾಲಿ ಪ್ಯಾಕೆಟ್ ಗಳು ಮಾತ್ರ ನನಗೆ ಕಾಣಿಸಿತು....

ಪಾತ್ರೆಗಳನ್ನೆಲ್ಲಾ ಕ್ಲೀನ್ ಮಾಡಿ, ಫ್ರಿಡ್ಜ್ ನಿಂದ ಒಂದು ಆ್ಯಪಲ್ ತೆಗೆದು ಕಟ್ ಮಾಡಿ ತಿಂದು ಬೆಡ್ ರೂಮಿಗೆ ಬಂದು ಮಲಗಿದೆ....

ಲೈಟ್ ಆಫ್ ಮಾಡುವುದಕ್ಕೆ ಮುಂಚೆ ಗೋಡೆಯ ಮೇಲೆ ತೂಗುಹಾಕಿದ ಆಕೆಯ ಮುಗುಳ್ನಗುವ ಭಾವಚಿತ್ರವನ್ನೊಮ್ಮೆ ತುಂಬಾ ದುಃಖದಿಂದಲೇ ನಾನು ನೋಡಿದೆ.....,.

ಆಕೆಯನ್ನು ನಿರ್ಲಕ್ಷಿಸದೇ ಇದ್ದಿದ್ದರೆ, ಇಂದು ನಾನು ಸಂತೋಷದಿಂದ ಇರುತ್ತಿದ್ದೆ ಅಂತ ನೆನೆದು ಎರಡು ಹನಿ ಕಣ್ಣೀರು ನನ್ನ ಕಣ್ಣಿಂದ ಸುರಿಯಿತು.  😥

ಈ ಕಥೆಯನ್ನು ಓದಿದವರಲ್ಲಿ ಈ ಕಥೆಯ "ಕಥಾ ನಾಯಕ ನಾನೇ" ಅಂತ ಯೋಚಿಸುವವರು  ಅನೇಕರು ಇರಬಹುದಲ್ಲವೇ...? ಅಂತಹವರಿಗೆ ನಾನು ಹೇಳಬಯಸುವುದೇನೆಂದರೆ..

ಕಣ್ಣು'ಗಳಿರುವಾಗಲೇ ಅದರ ಬೆಲೆ ಗೊತ್ತಾಗುವುದು...ಕಣ್ಣಿನ ದೃಷ್ಟಿ ನಷ್ಟವಾದ ನಂತರ ಕಣ್ಣಿನ ಮಹತ್ವವನ್ನು ತಿಳಿದು ಏನೂ ಪ್ರಯೋಜನವಿಲ್ಲ.

ನಮ್ಮ ಊಟ . ನಮ್ಮ ಸಂಬಂಧ , ಒಂದು ಚಿಂತನೆ !

ಹೇಗೆ ಊಟದ ತಟ್ಟೆಯಲ್ಲಿ  ಪ್ರತಿಯೊಂದು ಪದಾರ್ಥದ ಒಂದು fix ಸ್ಥಳ ಇರುತ್ತದೆಯೋ, ಅದರ ಹಾಗೆ, ನಮ್ಮ ಹೃದಯದಲ್ಲೂ, ನಮ್ಮ ನಮ್ಮವರ  ಒಂದು ಸ್ಥಳ ...?

ಊಟದ ತಟ್ಟೆಯಲ್ಲಿ, ಮೊದಲು ಬಡಿಸುವುದು ಉಪ್ಪು.. ಅದೂ ತಟ್ಟೆಯ  left ಬದಿಯಿಂದ,  ಆದರೂ ಅದು ಯಾವಾಗಲೂ right..

ಏಕೆ..? ಹೇಳಿ..

ಉಪ್ಪು ಇಲ್ಲದ ಅಡುಗೆ, ರುಚಿಯೇ ಇಲ್ಲ.. ಇದೇ ನಮ್ಮ ಜೀವನದ ಸಾರ..
ಜನ್ಮ ಕೊಟ್ಟ ತಂದೆ ತಾಯಿ ಯರು, ಇವರು ನಮ್ಮ ತಟ್ಟೆಯ ಉಪ್ಪು ಇದ್ದ ಹಾಗೆ, ಇವರು ಇಲ್ಲದೆ ಇದ್ದರೆ, ಜೀವನ ಉಪ್ಪು ಇಲ್ಲದ ಊಟದ ತರಹ..

ತಟ್ಟೆಯ ಮಧ್ಯ ಭಾಗದಲ್ಲಿ,
ಅನ್ನ, ಸಾಂಬಾರ್..
ಚೆನ್ನಾಗಿ ಕಲಿಸಿಯೇ ತಿನ್ನುವುದು,
ಒಮ್ಮೆ ಚೆನ್ನಾಗಿ, ಅನ್ನ ಸಾಂಬಾರ್ ಕಲಿಸಿದರೆ ಆಯಿತು, ಮತ್ತೆ ಅದನ್ನು ಬೇರೆ ಬೇರೆ  ಮಾಡಲು ಬಾರದು.
ಹೀಗೆಯೇ ಇರುವುದು ...
ಪತಿ ಪತ್ನಿಯ ಸಂಬಂಧಗಳು..
ಸ್ವಲ್ಪವೇ ಕಾಲದಲ್ಲಿ ಹೇಗೆ ಒಂದು ಜೀವಿಯಾಗಿ ಬೆಸೆದು ಹೋಗುತ್ತಾರೆ..

ಈ ಅನ್ನ ಸಾಂಬಾರ್ ಮೇಲೆ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಘಮ ಘಮಿಸುವ ತುಪ್ಪ ಹಾಕಿದರೆ..? ಇನ್ನಷ್ಟು ರುಚಿ ಬರುವುದಲ್ಲವೆ..?
ಈ ರುಚಿ, ನಮ್ಮ ಜೀವನದಲ್ಲಿ ತರುವುದು ನಮ್ಮ ಮಕ್ಕಳು..
ಮಕ್ಕಳು ಇಲ್ಲದೇ ಜೀವನ ನೀರಸ..
ಅಜ್ಜ ಅಜ್ಜಿಯರಂತೂ, ಹಾಲಿನ ಮೇಲಿನ ಕೆನೆಯ ತರಹ..

ಅನ್ನ ಸಾಂಬಾರು ಆದ ಮೇಲೆ ..
ಬರುವುದು ಬಿಸಿ ಬಿಸಿ ರೊಟ್ಟಿ , ಇಲ್ಲವೇ ಮೆತ್ತನೆ ಪದರು, ಪದರು, ಬಿಸಿ ಚಪಾತಿ..ನೀವು ಹೇಗೆ ಲಟ್ಟಿಸುವಿರಿ, ಹಾಗೆ ಆಕಾರ ತೆಗೆದು ಕೊಳ್ಳುವುದು ಚಪಾತಿ.. ಚೆನ್ನಾಗಿ ಸುಟ್ಟು , ಉಪಯೋಗ ಮಾಡಿದರೆ, ಎಲ್ಲಾ ಪಲ್ಲೆ, ಚಟ್ನಿಯ ಜೊತೆ ತಿನ್ನಬಹುದು.
ಇದು, ನಮ್ಮ ಮನೆಗೆ ಬರುವ ಸೊಸೆಯ ಹಾಗೆ..
ಎಲ್ಲರ ಜೊತೆ, ಸಮರಸ ಆಗಿ ಬಾಳುವಳು..
ತಟ್ಟೆಯ ಬಲಗಡೆ ಇರುವುದು, ಪಲ್ಲೆ...
ರಸಪಲ್ಲೆ, ಸುಕ್ಕಾ ಭಾಜಿ,..
ಕೆಲವೊಮ್ಮೆ ಬಹಳ ಖಾರ..
ಕೆಲವೊಮ್ಮೆ  ಹುಳಿ ಜಾಸ್ತಿ.
ಆದರೆ ಹೇಗೂ ಇರಲಿ, ತಟ್ಟೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಇರಬೇಕು ಪಲ್ಲೆ.. ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಇದ್ದರೂ ಪರವಾಗಿಲ್ಲ, ಒಂದೇ ಪಲ್ಲೆ ಇದ್ದರೂ ಪರವಾಗಿಲ್ಲ..
ಆದರೆ ಬೇಕು ತಟ್ಟೆಯಲ್ಲಿ...
ಇವು... ನಮ್ಮ ಒಡ ಹುಟ್ಟಿದವರು..
ಅಕ್ಕ, ತಂಗಿ, ಅಣ್ಣ ತಮ್ಮ, ಯಾರೇ ಇರಲಿ..
ಇರಲಿ ಒಬ್ಬಿಬ್ಬರು.. ಮಸ್ತಿ ಮಾಡಲು, ತುಂಟ ನಗೆ, ಒಮ್ಮೊಮ್ಮೆ ಜಗಳ.. ಮಾಡಲೂ..ಬೇಕು..

ತಟ್ಟೆಯಲ್ಲಿ, ಒಂದು ಬಟ್ಟಲಲ್ಲಿ  ಹುಣ್ಣಿಮೆ, ಅಮಾವಾಸ್ಯೆ ...ದಿನಗಳಲ್ಲಿ  ಯಾವುದೋ ಒಂದು ಸಿಹಿ ತಿಂಡಿ..
ನಾವು ದಿನಾಲೂ ತಿನ್ನುವುದಿಲ್ಲ , ಆ sweets.. ಆದರೆ  ಆ ಸಿಹಿ ತಿಂಡಿ ಇದ್ದರೆ ಊಟಕ್ಕೆ ಒಂದು  ವಿಶೇಷ ಕಳೆ... ಇವರೇ ನಮ್ಮ ನೆಂಟರು..
ದಿನಾಲೂ ಭೇಟಿ ಆಗದ....ನೆಂಟರು..ಆಪ್ತರು..
ಇವರು ಭೇಟಿ ಆದರೆ, ಮನಸ್ಸಿಗೆ ಏನೋ ಒಂದು ತರಹ ದ ಸಿಹಿ ತಿಂಡಿ ತಿಂದ ಹಾಗೆ ಸಂತೃಪ್ತಿ...
ಅವರೊಡನೆ ಹರಟೆ... ಸುಖ ದುಃಖ ಹಂಚಿ ಕೊಳ್ಳುವುದು.. ಮನಸ್ಸು ಹಗುರಗೊಳಿಸುವ ಸುಲಭ ವಿಧಾನ..

ತಟ್ಟೆಯ ಉಪ್ಪಿನ ಕೆಳಗೆ ಇರುವದು ಲಿಂಬೆ ಹಣ್ಣಿನ ತುಣುಕು, ಚಟ್ನಿ, ಉಪ್ಪಿನ ಕಾಯಿ,
ಇವು ಊಟದ ಸ್ವಾದ ಹೆಚ್ಚಿಸುವ ವ್ಯಂಜನಗಳು.. ಬಾಯಿಗೆ ಚಟ್ ಪಟ ಸ್ವಾದ  ಹೆಚ್ಚಿಸುವ item ಗಳು..
ಈ ಕೆಲಸ ಮಾಡುವರು... ನಮ್ಮ ಗೆಳೆಯರು... ನಮ್ಮ ಜೀವನದ ಸುಖ ದುಃಖ ಗಳಲ್ಲಿ  ಜೊತೆಗೆ ಇರುವವರು..
ಚಟ್ನಿಯ ನಂತರ ಬರುವದು ಕೋಸಂಬರಿ,
ಯಾವುದೇ ಪ್ರಕಾರದ್ದೇ ಇರಲಿ ಅದು ಪೌಷ್ಠಿಕ ಆಹಾರ.. ಒಮ್ಮೊಮ್ಮೆ ಪಲ್ಲೆ ಇರದೇ ಇದ್ದರೂ, ಕೋಸಂಬರಿ ಜೊತೆ ಊಟ ಮುಗಿಸಬಹುದು. ಕೋಸಂಬರಿ ಪಲ್ಲೆಯ ಕೆಲಸ ಮಾಡಿತು.
ಪಲ್ಲೆ ಯ ಬದಲಿಗೆ, ಸಹಾಯ ಮಾಡುವ ಕೆಲಸ ಕೋಸಂಬರಿ ಮಾಡುತ್ತದೆ..
ಕೋಸಂಬರಿ ಅಂದರೆ, ನಮ್ಮ ನೆರೆ ಹೊರೆಯವರು,  ಇವರೇ ಆಪದ್ಬಾಂಧವರು,

ಈ ವ್ಯಂಜನಗಳ ಮತ್ತು ನಮ್ಮ ಸಂಬಂಧಗಳ ತುಲನೆ ಮಾಡುತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ. ಆದರೆ ಹೋಲಿಕೆ ಮಾಡುವ ಪ್ರಯತ್ನ ಮಾಡಿದೆ..ಅಷ್ಟೇ..

ಪ್ರತ್ಯೇಕ ಪದಾರ್ಥಕ್ಕೂ ಒಂದು ವಿಶಿಷ್ಟ ಗುಣಧರ್ಮ ಇರುತ್ತದೆ.
ಉಪ್ಪಿನ ರುಚಿ, ಸಕ್ಕರೆಯ ಸಿಹಿ, ಹುಣಸೆಯ ಹುಳಿ, ಮೆಣಸಿನ ಕಾಯಿಯ ಖಾರ, ಮೆಂತೆ ಪಲ್ಲೆಯ ರುಚಿ, ಹಾಗಲ ಕಾಯಿಯ ಕಹಿ...
ಹೀಗೆಂದು ಹಾಗಲ ಕಾಯಿ ಪಲ್ಲೆ ತಿನ್ನುವುದನ್ನು ಬಿಡುತ್ತೇವೆ ಏನು...?
ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಬೆಲ್ಲ, ಹುಣಸೆ ಹುಳಿ ಸೇರಿಸಿ ರುಚಿಯಾದ ಪಲ್ಲೆ ಮಾಡುತ್ತೇವೆ... ಅಲ್ಲವೇ..?
ಹೀಗೆಯೇ ಸಂಬಂಧ ಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಕೂಡ ಒಮ್ಮೊಮ್ಮೆ ಕಹಿ ರುಚಿ ಬರುತ್ತದೆ..
ಹಾಗೆಂದ ಮಾತ್ರಕ್ಕೇ ಸಂಬಂಧ ಗಳನ್ನ ಬಿಡಲಿಕ್ಕೆ ಆಗ್ತದೇನು..?
ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಕೆಲವು ಸಿಹಿ, ಹುಳಿ ಸೇರಿಸಿ ಮತ್ತೆ ಜೋಡಿಸಲಿಕ್ಕೆ ಆಗುವುದಿಲ್ಲವೇನು..?
ಇಲ್ಲದಿದ್ದರೆ ನಮ್ಮ taste ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ change ಮಾಡಬೇಕಾಗುತ್ತದೆ. ಏಕೆ..?
ಸಂಬಂಧಗಳು ಮುರಿದು ಬೀಳಬಾರದು.
ಪಂಚ ಪಕ್ವಾನ್ನಗಳನ್ನ  ಗಬ ಗಬ  ತಿಂದರೆ ಬಿಕ್ಕು ಹತ್ತಲಿಕ್ಕೆ , ನೀರು ಕುಡಿಯ ಬೇಕು.

ಯಾವುದೂ ಅತೀ ಆಯಿತು ಎಂದರೆ ಅದು ಕೆಡುವುದೇ...
ಸಂಬಂಧಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಕೂಡ, ಅತೀ ಸಲುಗೆ ಆದರೂ ಅದು ಒಳ್ಳೆಯದಲ್ಲ.
ಸಂಬಂಧಗಳು  ಕೆಲವೊಮ್ಮೆ  ನಮಗೋಸ್ಕರ.. ಅವನ್ನು ಎಂದೂ ಕಳೆದುಕೊಳ್ಳಬಾರದು...
ಸಿಟ್ಟು, ಲೋಭ, ಪ್ರೇಮ, ಮಾಯೆ,
ಆದರ, ಸಮ್ಮಾನ, ಮರ್ಯಾದೆ  ಇವೆಲ್ಲ ತಮ್ಮ ತಮ್ಮ ಪ್ರಮಾಣದಲ್ಲಿ ಕೂಡಿದರೆ...
Ready ಆಯಿತು.... ರುಚಿಯಾದ ಊಟದ ತಟ್ಟೆ.

How effective communication helps to better love relationship

If any relationship has to be strong , there is a need of good communication between the couple. It is not just spoken communication or only speaking about the wants or just speaking to each other together. There are multiple ways for effective communication in relationship

Healthy communication

In some couples communication will be more limited to yelling at each other , blaming about each other faults . This is not treated as a healthy communication and one should come out of the negative thoughts in others while communicating. If some negative aspect has to be discussed , it may be shared in a more assertive way or by communicating how the partners behavior is affecting ones mind

Start with a gratitude

Never treat your partner as taken for granted and just because its your partner it does not mean anything can be spoken outwardly. Keep complimenting about their smile , behavior , achievements , dressing beauty and similar such attributes. These communication not only bring in good moods but also lifts up the energy for new attractive two way communication

Listen first

Listening is an art . Listen carefully to your partner . It creates a feeling that you are involved and respect what they are saying and creates a feel of security. This helps in more engaged communication . The more you listen , the more your partner will be ready to open up and share thoughts getting your relationship stronger

Express Love

When there is something you cant express with words express it with a touch of love.  Remember those initial days when just a gaze or a touch of your partner brought happiness . Keep it up all the times even after years of relationship. 

Try out these simple effective communication tips and find yourself how it creates wonders in your love relationship with your partner. Do share your comments.

How wife may handle husband feelings during pregnancy

He is happy that he is now becoming a father . He anticipates the joy of entering a new phase of his life as father. But at times during the waiting period of 9 months feels being deprived of the separation . After turning pregnant she is not as earlier , she is not showing the same interest as earlier , she is not at all caring him are some of the thoughts running in his mind. There may be mood swings , it may be difficult for her to manage her own changing body . She used to wait for him to reach home , used to make phone calls or message throughout the day , used to take care on returning home after a long working day. Is it she now who has changed so much is his worry inside. But she could be in such a stage where it may be little difficult to have the same energy as earlier. Few research indicate it may be at this stage where husbands may be more worried and sometime depressed taking wrong steps. Its said 1 out of 10 husbands experience these thoughts.

Why is it so ?

During pregnancy there may be hormonal and physical changes in her body which may also have a physiological impact. She may be physically away from him and the sexual life may be at a stop for long time which may be one of the reason for such thoughts in him. Usually men do not express their feelings openly . She may think after a child birth it may create a feeling of insecurity in them. Whether he is not ready to accept the fact that her wife will have her top priority at this time. All such thoughts , may make mind shift towards such thoughts.

What role wife may play at this time ?

There are few aspects wife can think of at these times.  Consulting her personal doctor advise may be taken on whether they can continue their sexual life for some time . Respect the thoughts and feelings of her husband at this time. Try to make attempts to relax him at regular times offloading him of the outside work pressure. A sweet hug will just be sufficient which may make wonders in releasing their stress. Similar to how she thinks and anticipates the future surprises about her child she may talk to him and understand his feelings and thoughts about his child and discuss together.

Have you also experienced and dealt with such situations . Do share your experience.

ಮದುವೆ ವ್ಯಾಪಾರವಲ್ಲ - Marriage is not a bussiness

 
💟ಯಾರೇ ಆಗಿರಲಿ ಮಗಳು ಮದುವೆಯಾಗಿ ಹೋದ ಮನೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಚೆನ್ನಾಗಿರಬೇಕೆಂಬುದು ಪ್ರತಿ ಯೊಬ್ಬ ಹೆತ್ತವರ ಆಸೆ.  ಆದರೆ ಅತಿಯಾಸೆ ಎಷ್ಟು ಸರಿ?   ಬರೋ ಅಳಿಯ ಇಂಜನೀಯರ್ರೇ ಆಗಿರಬೇಕಾ?   ಡಾಕ್ಟರೇ ಆಗಬೇಕಾ?  ಅವರನವನ ಬಿಟ್ಟು ಉಳಿದ ಹುಡುಗರು ಮನುಷ್ಯರಲ್ಲವಾ?   ಅವರಿಗೂ ಒಂದು ಮನಸು ಅನ್ನೊದಿಲ್ವಾ?  ನಮಗಿಂತ ಹೆಚ್ಚು ಶ್ರೀ ಮಂತರನ್ನ ನೋಡಿ ಮಗಳನ್ನ ಮದುವೆ ಮಾಡಿಕೊಟ್ಟರೆ ಒಂದಲ್ಲ ಒಂದು ದಿನ ನಮ್ಮ ಹೆತ್ತವರಿಗೋ,ಸ್ವತಃ ಮಗಳಿಗೋ ಹೇಳಲಾಗದ ಅವಮಾನವನ್ನು ಅನುಭವಿಸುವ ಪರಿಸ್ಥಿತಿ ಬಂದರೂ ಆಶ್ಚರ್ಯವೇನಿಲ್ಲ.

💟ಯಾಕೆಂದರೆ ಎಲ್ಲರೂ ಒಳ್ಳೆಯವರು ಇರುತ್ತಾರೆ ಎನ್ನುಂತಿಲ್ಲ.  ಇಂಜನಿಯರ್,ಡಾಕ್ಟರ್ , ಅವರನ್ನು ಬಿಟ್ಟು ಉಳಿದ ಹುಡುಗರು ಮನುಷ್ಯರಲ್ಲವಾ? ಅವರಿಗೂ ಒಂದು ಮನಸು ಅನ್ನೊದಿಲ್ವಾ? ತಿಂಗಳಿಗೆ ಲಕ್ಷಗಟ್ಟಲೇ ದುಡ್ಡು ಬರಬೇಕಾ? ಹುಡುಗಿ ಕಡೆಯವರ ಇತ್ತೀಚಿನ ಅಪೇಕ್ಷೆಗಳು,ಬೆಂಗಳುರಲ್ಲಿ ಸ್ವಂತ ಮನೆ ಇರಬೆಕು.ಲಕ್ಷಗಟ್ಟಲೆ ದುಡ್ಡಿರಬೇಕು.ಮನೆಲಿ ಅತ್ತೆ ಮಾವ ನಾದಿನಿ ಇವರ್ಯಾರೂ ಇರಬಾರದು.ಇದ್ದರೂ ಬೇರೇನೇ ಇರಬೇಕು.  ಈ ಥರ ವಿಚಾರಗಳು ಹುಡುಗೀರ ತಲೇಲಿ ತುಂಬ್ತಿರೋರು ಹೆತ್ತವರೇ ಅಲ್ವಾ?   ಯಾಕೆ ಹೀಗಾದ್ರು ಅಂತ ಅರ್ಥವೇ ಆಕ್ತಿಲ್ಲ.  ಮಾತಿಗೆ ಬಂದಾಗ ಯಾರಿಗೇ ಕೇಳಿ ನೋಡಿ ನಮ್ಮ ಮನೆಲಿ ವರ ಇದ್ದಾನೆ ,ಒಂದು ಹುಡುಗಿ ಇದ್ದರೆ ತಿಳಿಸಿ ಎಂದು ಸಹಜವಾಗಿ ಹೇಳಿದರೆ ಸಾಕು.

💟ನಮ್ಮ ಹುಡುಗ ಮಾಸ್ತರ್ ನೌಕ್ರಿ ಮಾಡ್ತಿದಾನೆ ಅಂತಲೋ,ಕ್ಲರ್ಕ ಆಗಿದಾನೆ ಅಂತಲೋ,ದೇವಸ್ಥಾನ ದ ಮ್ಯಾನೇಜರ್ ಆಗಿದಾನೆ ಅಂತಲೋ,ಹೇಳಿದರೆ ಸಾಕು ,  ಅಯ್ಯೋ ಎಲ್ಲಿ ಕನ್ಯ ರೀ? ಎಂತೆಂಥ ಇಂಜನೀಯರು ಡಾಕ್ಟರುಗಳಿಗೇ ಸಿಕ್ತಿಲ್ಲ ಇನ್ನು ಇವರಿಗೇನು ಸಿಗುತ್ತೆ ಕನ್ಯ ಅಂತ ಮುಖಕ್ಕೆ ಹೊಡೆದ ಹಾಗೆ ಹೇಳ್ತಾರೆ.ಹೀಗೆ ಹೇಳಬೇಕಾದರೆ ಬೇರೆಯವರ ಮನಸ್ಸಿಗೆ ನೋವಾಗುತ್ತದೆ ಅನ್ನುವ ಪರಿಜ್ಞಾನವೂ ಇಲ್ಲದವರಿಗೆ ಇತರರ ಮನಸ್ಸಿನ ಸಂಕಟ,ನೋವು,ಎಲ್ಲಿ ಅರ್ಥವಾಗುತ್ತದೆ.  ಮಕ್ಕಳನ್ನು ಸಾಲಸೋಲ ಮಾಡಿ ,ವಿಪರೀತ ಓದಿಸಿಬಿಡುವುದು.ಅವರು ಹೆತ್ತವರ ಜೊತೆ ಇರಬೇಕಾದ ಸಮಯದಲ್ಲಿ ವಿದೆಶಕ್ಕೆ ಹಾರಿಬಿಡುವುದು.ಹೆತ್ತವರು ಮಕ್ಕಳಿದ್ದರೂ ಅನಾಥರಂತೆ ದೊಡ್ಡ ಮನೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಬಿಕೋ ಎನ್ನುವಂತೆ ಒಂಟಿ ಪಿಶಾಚಿಗಳಂತೆ,ಯಾಂತ್ರಿಕ ವಾಗಿ ಬದುಕುವುದು.ಈ ಸಂಭ್ರಮ ಕ್ಕೆ ಯಾಕೆ ಬೇಕು ಹೆಚ್ಚಿನ ಓದು ಬರಹ  ಓದಲಿ.ಓದುವುದಕ್ಕೆ ಬೇಡ ಅನ್ನುತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ.ಹೆಣ್ಣು ಹೆತ್ತವರು ಕಷ್ಟ ಸುಖ ಗೊತ್ತಿದ್ದು ,ಒಳ್ಳೆಯ ಪರಿಸರದಲ್ಲಿ ಬೆಳೆದು,ಉತ್ತಮ ಸಂಸ್ಕಾರ ಹೊಂದಿದವರಿಗೆ ಈ ಮಾತು ಅನ್ವಯವಾಗುವುದಿಲ್ಲ.  ಶ್ರಿಮಂತಿಕೆಯ ಭ್ರಮೆಯಲ್ಲಿರುವವರಿಗೆ ಮಾತ್ರ ಈ ಮಾತು.

💟ಇದೆಲ್ಲದರ ಆಚೆಗೆ ನಿಂತು ಬರೀ ದುಡ್ಡಿನ ಸುರಿಮಳೆಯಲ್ಲೇ ಮಗಳು ತೇಲಾಡಬೇಕು.ಮೈಮುರಿದು ಮನೆಗೆಲಸ ಮಾಡಬಾರದು.ಅರಾಮಾಗಿ ಕುಳಿ ತಲ್ಲೇ ಮೂರು ಹೊತ್ತು ತಿಂದು ತೇಗಿ ಬರದೇ ಇರುವ ಜಡ್ಡುಗಳನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ ಬರಿಸಿಕೊಂಡು,ಮತ್ತೆ ಡಾಕ್ಟರ್ ಹೇಳಿದ ಹಾಗೆ  ಅನ್ನ ಬಿಟ್ಟು, ಎಣ್ಣೆ ಹಚ್ಚದ ಒಣ ಚಪಾತಿ ತಿನ್ನಿ ,ಅಂತ ಸಾವಿರಾರುಗಟ್ಟಲೇ ಫೀಸು ತಗೊಂಡು ಐಷಾರಾಮಿ ಕಾರ ಲ್ಲಿ ಓಡಾಡುತ್ತಾ ಇದ್ದರೆ ಅದೇ ಸುಖ ಇವರಿಗೆ. ಈ ಸುಖ ಬಯಸುವ ಹೆತ್ತವರು ಮಕ್ಕಳನ್ನು  ಇಂಜನೀಯರ್ರು,ಡಾಕ್ಟರು,ಅಂತ ಮಕ್ಕಳ ತಲೇಲಿ ತುಂಬುತ್ತಿರುವುದಕ್ಕೆ ಮದುವೆ ಮುಗಿದ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ದಿನಗಳಿಗೇ ಡೈವೋರ್ಸಗಳಾಗುತ್ತಿರೋದು.ಹೊಂದಿಕೊಂಡು ಬಾಳುವುದನ್ನು ಕಲಿಸುವ ತಂದೆತಾಯಿ ಯಾವತ್ತೂ ಈ ರೀತಿ ವಿಚಾರ ಮಾಡಲು ಸಾಧ್ಯವಿಲ್ಲ. ಕೆಲಸಕ್ಕೆ ಹೋಗುವಳಾಗಿದ್ದರೆ ಅವಳೂ ಇಡೀ ದಿನ ದುಡಿದು ಮನೆಗೆ ಪರಕೀಯರಂತಾಗಿ ಬಂದು ಬ್ರೆಡ್ಡು ಜಾಮು ತಿಂದು ಮಲಗಬೇಕು.
ಇನ್ನು ಹಬ್ಬವೆಲ್ಲಿ? ಹರಿದಿನವೆಲ್ಲಿ?

💟ಮನೆಯವರೊಡನೆ ಬೆರೆತಾಗಲೇ ಕಷ್ಟ ಸುಖ,ಪ್ರೀತಿ ಕಾಳಜಿಯ ಅರಿವಾಗುವುದು. ಅದಕ್ಕೇ ಆಸ್ಪದವಿಲ್ಲದಿದ್ದರೆ? ಇಲ್ಲ ಬಡವರ ಮನೆ ಹುಡುಗಿಯೋ,ಮಧ್ಯಮ ವರ್ಗದ ಮನೆಯ ಹುಡುಗಿಯೋ ಆಗಿದ್ದು ಕೆಲಸಕ್ಕೆ ಹೋಗದಿದ್ದರೆ ಇಡೀ ದಿನ ಅವಳು ಒಬ್ಬಂಟಿಯಾಗೇ ಕಾಲ ಕಳಿಬೇಕು.ಟಿ.ವಿ.ಫ್ರಿಜ್ಜು.ಐಷಾರಾಮಿ ವಸ್ತುಗಳೊಂದಿಗೆ ಸಂಸಾರ ಮಾಡಲು ಆಗುತ್ತದಾ? ನೆಮ್ಮದಿಯಿಂದ ಬದುಕಲು ಆಗುತ್ತದಾ? ಶ್ರೀಮಂತಿಕೆ ಇದ್ದರೆ ಮಾತ್ರ ಸುಖವಾಗಿರುತ್ತಾಳೆ ಎನ್ನುವುದು ನಿಜವಾಗಿಯೂ ಮೂರ್ಖತನದ ಪರಮಾವಧಿ.   ಎಲ್ರಿಗೂ ಇಂಜನೀಯರೇ ಬೇಕು ಅಂದ್ರೆ ಉಳಿದವರೆಲ್ಲ ಮನುಷ್ಯರಲ್ವಾ? ಹಳ್ಳಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕಷ್ಟಪಟ್ಟು ಬೆಳೆದಿರುವ ಹುಡುಗರು,ಹೊಲ ಮನೆ ನೋಡಿಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಕ್ತಿರುವ ಹುಡುಗರು,ವಿದ್ಯಾಪೀಠ ದಂತಹ ಗುರುಕುಲ ಪದ್ಧತಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಓದಿ ಬೆಳೆದ ಹುಡುಗರು ,ಅಡಿಗೆ ಗುತ್ತಿಗೆದಾರರು,ಮೆಡಿಕಲ್ ರೆಪ್ರೆಸೆಂಟೇಟಿವ್ಸ್, ಈ ಎಲ್ಲ ಕೆಲಸ ಮಾಡೊರಿಗೆ ಬೆಲೇನೇ ಇಲ್ವಾ?    ಹೆತ್ತವರನ್ನ,ಒಡಹುಟ್ಟಿದವರನ್ನ ಚೆನ್ನಾಗಿ ನೋಡಿಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಗುವ ಹುಡುಗರು, ಸಂಸ್ಕ್ರತಿ, ಸಂಪ್ರದಾಯದೊಂದಿಗೆ ಕಿರಿಕಿರಿಯಾಗದಂತೆ ಸಂಸಾರವನ್ನು ತೂಗಿಸಿಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಗುವ ಷ್ಟು ಸಮರ್ಥರಿರುತ್ತಾರೆ. ಹೆಂಡತಿ ಚೆನ್ನಾಗಿಯೇ ನೋಡಿಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತಾರೆ.

💟ದುಡ್ಡಿರುವ ಇಂಜನೀಯರ್ ಮಾತ್ರ ಹೆಂಡತಿ ಯನ್ನು ಚೆನ್ನಾಗಿ ನೋಡಿಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತಾರೆಂಬುದು ನಿಜಕ್ಕೂ ಮೂರ್ಖತನ.  ಇತ್ತೀಚಿನ ದಿನಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಕಂಡಂತೆ ಹುಡುಗಿಯರೇ ಬೇರೆ ಜಾತಿಯವರ ಹುಡುಗರೊಂದಿಗೆ ಶೋಕಿಗಾಗಿ ತಿರುಗಾಡಿ.ಪ್ರೀತಿ ಎನ್ನುವ ಹೆಸರು ಕೊಟ್ಟು ಐಷಾರಾಮಿ ಬದುಕಿನ ಆಸೆಗಾಗಿ ಓಡಿಹೋದವರಿದ್ದಾರೆ.ಜೀವನ ಹಾಳು ಮಾಡಿಕೊಂಡು ಬಂದವರಿದ್ದಾರೆ.ಹೆತ್ತವರ ಮನಸ್ಸಿಗೆ ನೋವು ಕೊಟ್ಟು ಮದುವೆ ಆದ ಎಷ್ಟೋ ಉದಾಹರಣೆಗಳಿವೆ.  ಇನ್ನು ಕೆಲ ಹುಡುಗಿಯರು ಸುಖಾಸುಮ್ಮನೆ ಹುಡುಗರನ್ನು ಕೆಣಕುವುದು.ಅಥವಾ ಅವರ ಮನಸ್ಸು ಕೆಡಿಸುವುದು.

💟ಸಲಿಗೆಯಿಂದ ತಾವಾಗೇ ಮಾತಾಡಿ ಹುಡುಗರಲ್ಲಿ ಇಲ್ಲ ಸಲ್ಲದ ಆಸೆಗಳನ್ನು ತುಂಬಿ ಮದುವೆ ವಿಷಯ ಪ್ರಸ್ತಾಪ ಮಾಡಿದಾಗ ಈ ಹುಡುಗಿಯರಿಗೆ ಹೆತ್ತವರ ನೆನಪಾಗುತ್ತದೆ.ಅಷ್ಟೊತ್ತಿಗೆ ಹುಡುಗರ ಮನಸ ಹ್ಸು ಮದುವೆಯ ಆಶಾಗೋಪುರ ಕಟ್ಟಿಕೊಂಡಾಗಿರುತ್ತದೆ.  ಈ ವಿಷಯದಲ್ಲಿ ಲೆಕ್ಕ ಹಾಕಿದರೆ ಹುಡುಗಿಯರಿಗಿಂತ ಹುಡುಗರೇ ಹೆಚ್ಚು ಜವಾಬ್ದಾರಿ ಯಿಂದ ನಡೆದುಕೊಳ್ಳುವುದು. ಅದಕೆ ಕಾರಣವೂ ಇದೆ.  ಹುಡುಗರು ವಾಸ್ತವದ ಸತ್ಯ ಅರಿತವರಾಗಿರುತ್ತಾರೆ.ಮದುವೆ,ಬಯಕೆ,  ಬಾಣಂತನ,ಮಕ್ಕಳು,ಅವರ ಲಾಲನೆ ಪಾಲನೆ ಎಲ್ಲ ವಿಷಯಗಳ ಜವಾಬ್ದಾರಿ ಸಾಮಾನ್ಯವಲ್ಲ ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಮನೆ,ತಂದೆ ತಾಯಿ ಎಲ್ಲರ ಸಹಾಯ ಸಹಕಾರ ಬೇಕಾಗುತ್ತದೆ,ಅದೇ ಸಂಸಾರ ಎನ್ನುವ ಸರ್ವಸಾಮಾನ್ಯವಾದ ತಿಳುವಳಿಕೆಯನ್ನು ಹೊಂದಿದವರಾಗಿರುತ್ತಾರೆ.  

💟ಹುಡುಗರನ್ನು ಹುಚ್ಚು ಮಾಡುವಾಗ,ಅವರ ಹಿಂದೆ ಬಿದ್ದು ಅವರ ತಲೆ ಕೆಡಿಸಿ.ಅವರಿಂದ ತಮಗೆ ಬೇಕಾದ ಎಲ್ಲ ಕೆಲಸಗಳನ್ನು ಮಾಡಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳುವಾಗ ಈ ಹುಡುಗಿಯರಿಗೆ ಹೆತ್ತವರ ಭಯ.ಚಿಂತೆ ಇರುವುದಿಲ್ಲ.ಮದುವೆ ವಿಷಯ ಬಂದಾಕ್ಷಣ ಹೆತ್ತವರ ಮನಸಿಗೆ ನೋವು ಕೊಡಲು ನಾವು ತಯಾರಿಲ್ಲ.ಅವರು ತೋರಿಸಿದ ಕಡೆಯೇ ಮದುವೆಯಾಗುತ್ತೇವೆ.

💟ಎಂದು ಹೇಳಿ ಜಾರಿಕೊಂಡರೆ ಅದು ಪ್ರೀತಿ ಎನಿಸುತ್ತದೆಯಾ? ಸುಮ್ಮನೆ ಹುಡುಗರ ಮನಸ್ಸು ಹಾಳು ಮಾಡಿದರೆ .ಮಗನನ್ನೇ ನಂಬಿರುವ ಮನೆಯವರ ಗತಿ ಏನಾಗಬಹುದು?

💟ವರ ಕನ್ಯ ಅನ್ವೇಷಣೆಯ ವಿಷಯದಲ್ಲಿ ಇತ್ತೀಚಿಗೆ ನಡೆಯುತ್ತಿರುವ ಈ ಘಟನೆ ಗಳು ಬಹಳ ಜನರಿಗೆ,ನೋವುಂಟು ಮಾಡುತ್ತಿವೆ.  ಇರಲಿ ನಮ್ಮ ಮಕ್ಕಳು.ನಮ್ಮಿಷ್ಟ.ಯಾರು ಬೇಡ ಎನ್ನುತ್ತಾರೆ? ನಾಳೆ ಏನಾದರೂ ಹೆಚ್ಚು ಕಮ್ಮಿಯಾದರೆ ನಮ್ಮ ಮಕ್ಕಳಿಗೆ ನಾವೇ ಜವಾಬ್ದಾರಿ ಹೊರುತ್ತೇವೆ.

💟ಸಾಮಾನ್ಯ ಹುಡುಗರೂ ಸಹ ,ಜೀವನ ಮಾಡಲು ಅವಶ್ಯಕತೆ ಗೆ ತಕ್ಕಷ್ಟು ದುಡ್ಡು ಬೇಕು.ಇನ್ನೂ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಐಷಾರಾಮಿ ಬಯಸಿದರೆ ಅದೂ ತಪ್ಪಲ್ಲ .ಮನೆಗೆ ಬೇಕಾದ ಅವಶ್ಯಕತೆ ಇರುವ ಎಲ್ಲ ವಸ್ತುಗಳನ್ನು ಬಹಳ ಸಂತೋಷ ದಿಂದಲೇ ತಂದುಕೊಡುತ್ತಾರೆ.

💟ಇಂಜನೀಯರು ಡಾಕ್ಟರುಗಳಿಗಿಂತ ಜೀವನವನ್ನು ಅತಿ ಹತ್ತಿರದಿಂ ದ,ಅನುಭವಿಸಿ,ಹೆಂಡತಿ ಯ ಪ್ರತಿ ಹೆಜ್ಜೆಯಲ್ಲೂ ತಾವಿದ್ದು ಅವಳ ಸಂತೋಷ ದಲ್ಲಿ ತಾವು ಸಂಭ್ರಮ ಕಾಣುತ್ತಾ ಸಂಸಾರದ ನೊಗವನ್ನು ಹೊತ್ತು ನೋವು ಮರೆತು ನಗುನಗುತ್ತಾ,ನಗಿಸುತ್ತಾ ಬದುಕುವುದು ಮಧ್ಯಮ ವರ್ಗದ ಹುಡುಗರೇ.ಅವರಿಂದಲೇ ಸುಖಸಂಸಾರ ಸಾಧ್ಯ. ಹೆಂಡತಿ ಯ ಪ್ರತೀ ಕಷ್ಟ ಸುಖಗಳಲ್ಲಿ,ಸಣ್ಣಪುಟ್ಟ ಕೆಲಸಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಭಾಗಿಯಾಗುವ ಪ್ರೀತಿ,ಮನಸ್ಸು, ಮಾನವೀಯತೆ,ಇರುವುದು ಇಂತಹ ಹುಡುಗರಲ್ಲಿಯೇ ಹೆಚ್ಚಾಗಿರುವುದು.ಇದರಲ್ಲಿ ಯಾವ ಸಂಶಯವೂ ಇಲ್ಲ.
ಅದೇ ತನ್ನ ಮನೆಗಾಗಿ ಹಗಲೂ ರಾತ್ರಿ ದುಡಿಯುವ ಹೆಂಡತಿ ಗೆ ನೆಗಡಿಯೋ,ಕೆಮ್ಮೋ ಆದಾಗ ಗಂಡನಾದವನು ಹತ್ತಿರ ಬಂದು ಕಾಳಜಿ ತೋರಿಸಿ ,ಒಂದು ಕಪ್ಪು ಕಶಾಯ ಮಾಡಿ ಕುಡಿಸುವ ,ಆರೈಕೆ ಮಾಡುವ,ಪ್ರೀತಿ ತೋರಿಸುವ ಕೆಲಸ ದುಡ್ಡು ಕೊಡುವುದಿಲ್ಲ.ಅದು ಮಾನವೀಯತೆ ಇರುವ  ಒಬ್ಬ ಸಾಮಾನ್ಯ ಮನುಷ್ಯ ಮಾಡುವ ಕೆಲಸ.ಅದು ನಮ್ಮ ಸುಸಂಸ್ಕಾರವಂತ ಹುಡುಗರು ಮಾಡಿಯೇ  ಮಾಡುತ್ತಾರೆ.

💟ಆದರೆ ಇಷ್ಟೆಲ್ಲದರ ತಾತ್ಪರ್ಯ ಒಂದೇ .
ಬರೀ ಇಂಜನೀಯರ್ರು,ಡಾಕ್ಟರು,
ಆಸ್ತಿವಂತರಿಗೆ ಮಾತ್ರ ಕನ್ಯ ಕೊಡಲು ಯೋಗ್ಯರಲ್ಲ.

💟ಅವರ ಹೊರತಾಗಿ ಒಂದು ಜವಾಬ್ದಾರಿ ಇರುವ ಮಗನಾಗಿ ಇರುವ ಎಲ್ಲ ಯೋಗ್ಯ ವರಗಳೂ ನಮ್ಮ ಮಕ್ಕಳನ್ನು ಚೆನ್ನಾಗಿಯೇ ನೋಡಿಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತಾರೆ. ಕಷ್ಟವಿದ್ದಾಗಲೇ ಸುಖದ ಅರಿವಾಗುವುದು.ಸುಖದ ಸುಪ್ಪತ್ತಿಗೆಯಲ್ಲೇ ಮಗಳು ಇರಬೇಕೆಂದು ಬಯಸುವುದು ಖಂಡಿತ ತಪ್ಪು.ದುಡ್ಡು ಜೀವನಕ್ಕೆ ಅವಶ್ಯಕತೆ ಅಷ್ಟೇ. ದುಡ್ಡೇ ಜೀವನವಲ್ಲ.

💟ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಯಾರ ಮನಸ್ಸಿಗೂ ನೋವುಂಟು ಮಾಎಉವ ಉದ್ದೇಶವಿಲ್ಲ.ಆದರೆ ಹೆಣ್ಣು ಹೆತ್ತವರು ಒಂದು ಘಳಿಗೆ ಯೋಚನೆ ಮಾಡಿದರೆ ಒಳ್ಳೆಯ ಗುಣವಿರುವ ಯೋಗ್ಯ ವರನಿಗೆ ಕೊಟ್ಟು ಮದುವೆ ಮಾಡಿದರೆ ಅವಳು ಖಂಡಿತ ಸುಖವಾಗಿರುತ್ತಾಳೆ.  ಮಧ್ಯಮ ವರ್ಗದ ಮನೆಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಇಂದಿಗೂ ಸಣ್ಣ ಪುಟ್ಟ ಸಾಲಸೋಲಗಳು ಇರುವುದು ನಿಜ. ಅಂತಹ ಸಂಸಾರ ವೇ ಒಂದು ಹಬ್ಬದಂತೆ.   ಸದಾ ಸುಖ,ಸಂತೋಷ, ಸಂಭ್ರಮ, ನೆಮ್ಮದಿ ತುಂಬಿರುತ್ತದೆ.ತುಂಬಿದ ಮನೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಮಗಳು ನಿಜಕ್ಕೂ ಸುಖವಾಗಿರುತ್ತಾಳೆ. ಯಾವತ್ತೂ ಅವಳಿಗೆ ಒಂಟಿತನ ಕಾಡುವುದಿಲ್ಲ.ಮಧ್ಯಮ ವರ್ಗದ ಹುಡುಗರೂ ಜವಾಬ್ದಾರಿ ಉಳ್ಳವರೇ ಆಗಿರುತ್ತಾರೆ.  ದುಡ್ಡಿನ ಮುಂದೆ ಒಳ್ಳೆಯ ಗುಣಕ್ಕೆ ,ಒಳ್ಳೆಯ ಹುಡುಗರ ವ್ಯಕ್ತಿತ್ವಕ್ಕೆ ಬೆಲೆ ಇಲ್ಲದಂತಾಗಿದೆ.ಅದು ಮನಸಿಗೆ ತುಂಬಾ ನೋವಾಗುವ ವಿಚಾರ.
ಹಾಗಂತ ಇಂಜನೀಯರುಗಳು,ಡಾಕ್ಟರ್ ಗಳು,ಶ್ರೀ ಮಂತರು ಮನುಷ್ಯತ್ವ ಇಲ್ಲದವರು ಅಂತಲ್ಲ.ಅವರಿಗೆ ಒಳ್ಳೆಯದು ಕೆಟ್ಟದರ ಅರಿವೂ ಕೂಡಾ ಇರದಷ್ಡು ಒಳ್ಳೆಯವರಾಗಿರುತ್ತಾರೆ.  ಆದರೆ ಹೆಣ್ಣು ಹೆತ್ತವರು ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ವಿಚಾರ ಮಾಡಬೇಕಲ್ಲವಾ? ತಮಗೆ ಗೊತ್ತಿರುವ ಹುಡುಗನನ್ನೇ ಆರಿಸುವುದು ಸೂಕ್ತವಲ್ಲ ವೇ?

💟ಇನ್ನು ಸ್ನೆಹಿತರಿಗೆ,ತಮ್ಮ ಸ್ನೇಹಿತರಲ್ಲಿ ಯಾರು ಹೇಗೆ ಎನ್ನುವ ವಿಚಾರ ತಿಳಿದೇ ಇರುತ್ತದೆ.ಅಂತಹ ಸಮಯದಲ್ಲಿ ತಮ್ಮ ಅಕ್ಕ ತಂಗಿಯರನ್ನ ಗೊತ್ತಿರುವವರಿಗೇ ಕೊಟ್ಟು ಮದುವೆ ಮಾಡಿದರೆ ನಮ್ಮ ಹುಡುಗಿ ನಮ್ಮ ಕಣ್ಣೇದುರೇ ಇದ್ದ ಹಾಗಾಗುತ್ತದೆ,ಸ್ನೇಹಸಂಬಂಧ ಇನ್ನೂ ಗಟ್ಡಿಯಾಗುತ್ತದೆ.ಇದು ನನ್ನ ಅಭಿಪ್ರಾಯ. ನಿಮ್ಮ ಅಭಿಪ್ರಾಯ ಖಂಡಿತ ತಿಳಿಸಿ.  ಇಷ್ಟು ರೀತಿಯಾಗಿ ಈ ವಿಚಾರದಿಂದ ಮನಸು ವಿಚಲಿತವಾಗಲು ಕಾರಣ ಕಣ್ಣೆದುರು ನಡೆದಿರುವ,ನಡೆಯುತ್ತಿರುವ ಘಟನೆಗಳು.ಹೆತ್ತವರ ನುಂಗಲಾರದ ನೋವು.  ಪ್ರೀತಿ, ಪ್ರೇಮ, ವಿಶ್ವಾಸ,ನಂಬಿಕೆಗಳಿಗೆ ಬೆಲೆ ಕೊಡುವವರು ಯಾವತ್ತೂ ವಣಪ್ರತಿಷ್ಠೆ ಹಾಗೂ ಶಾಶ್ವತವಲ್ಲದ ಶ್ರೀಮಂತಿಕೆಯ ಹಿಂದೆ ಬಿದ್ದು ತಮ್ಮತನವನ್ನು ಕಳೆದುಕೊಳ್ಳುವುದಿಲ್ಲ.  ಬೇರೆ ಕೆಲಸ ಮಾಡೊರಿಗೆ ಬೆಲೇನೇ ಇಲ್ವಾ?
ಯಾವ ವಧುವರರ ಜಾಹಿರಾತು ಮಾಹಿತಿಗಳನ್ನು ನೋಡಿದರೂ ಹೆಚ್ಚು ಬಿ.ಈ.ಬೀಟೆಕ್ ,ಎಮ್ಟೆಕ್,ಇಂಜನೀಯರ್,ಡಾಕ್ಟರ್, ಅಪೆಕ್ಷೆಯೇ
ಇರುತ್ತವೆ.

💟 ಮಗಳು ಡಾಕ್ಟರ್, ಇಂಜನೀಯರ್,ಸಿ.ಎ.ಇದ್ದಾಳೆ ಸರಿ ಅವಳಿಗೆ ತಕ್ಕ ಹುಡುಗನನ್ನ,ಅದೇ ಪ್ರೊಫೇಶನ್ನಲ್ಲಿ ಇರೋರನ್ನ ನೋಡಿ ಮದುವೆ ಮಾಡಿದರೆ ಇಬ್ಬರೂ ಚೆನ್ನಾಗಿರುತ್ತಾರೆ ಎಂದುಕೊಂಡರೆ ಅದೂ ತಪ್ಪೇ.ಎಷ್ಟೋ ಕೇಸುಗಳು ಮಗು ಹುಟ್ಟುವ ಮುಂಚೆಯೇ ವಿಚ್ಛೇದನಕ್ಕೆ ಬಂದು ನಿಂತಿರುತ್ತದೆ.ಯಾಕೆಂದರೆ ಇಬ್ಬರಿಗೂ ಮಗು ಬೇಕಿಲ್ಲ.ಮಗು ಹುಟ್ಟಿದ್ದೇ ಆದರೆ ಆ ಮಗುವಿನ ಜೀವನವಿಡೀ ಆಯಾ ಳ ಕೈಯ್ಯಲ್ಲೇ.ತಾಯಿ ಕೈತುತ್ತು ಇಲ್ಲ.ತಂದೆಯ ಮಮತೆ ಕಾಣಲ್ಲ.

💟ಇಬ್ಬರೂ ದುಡಿಯುವವರು.ಇಬ್ಬರಿಗೂ ಸರಿಸಮ ದುಡ್ಡು.ದೊಡ್ಡ  ಫ್ಲಾಟ್ ನಲ್ಲಿ ಐಷಾರಾಮಿ ಜೀವನ. ಬ್ರೆಡ್ಡು.ಜಾಮು.ಪೀಜಾ.ಬರ್ಗರು,ಇದೇ ಹೊಟ್ಟೆಗೆ.ಇರೋ ಒಂದು ಸಂಡೇ ,ವೀಕೆಂಡು ಹೋಟೆಲು. ಮಾಲ್ ಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಓಡಾಟ.ಮುಗಿತು ಮತ್ತೆ ಸೋಮವಾರದಿಂದ ಅದೇ ಯಾಂತ್ರಿಕ ಜೀವನ. ಎಲ್ಲದಕಿಂತ ಹೆಚ್ಚಾಗಿ ಇಬ್ಬರ ನಡುವೆ ಈಗೋ ಪ್ರಾಬ್ಲಂ.ಒಬ್ಬರ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಒಬ್ಬರು ಮಾತಾನಾಡುವ ಸ್ವಾತಂತ್ರವನ್ನೇ ಕಳೆದುಕೊಂಡಿರುವಾಗ ಪ್ರೀತಿಗೆ ಜಾಗವೆಲ್ಲಿ?

💟ಸರಿಸಮ ಓದಿದವರಿಗೆ ಕೊಟ್ಟು ಮದುವೆ ಮಾಡುವುದು ಒಂದು ಕಡೆ ಸರಿ.ಆದರೆ  ಇನ್ನು ನಮ್ಮಂತಹ ಮಧ್ಯಮ ವರ್ಗದ ಹುಡುಗಿಗೂ,ತೀರಾ ಬಡತನದಲ್ಲಿ ಬೆಳೆದ ಮಗಳಿಗೂ ನಾವು ಇಂಜನೀಯರುಗಳಿಗೆ ಕೊಟ್ಟು ಮದುವೆ ಮಾಡುತ್ತ ಹೋದರೆ ಏನು ಕತೆ?  ಮಗಳು ವಿದೆಶದಲ್ಲಿದಾಳೆ.ಅಳಿಯ ವಿದೇಶದಲ್ಲಿದಾನೆ ಅಂತ ಹೇಳಿಕೊಳ್ಳುವುದೇ ಒಂದು ಪ್ರತಿಷ್ಠೆ ಆಗಿ ಹೊಗಿದೆ.ಹಾಗಿದ್ದರೆ ನಮ್ಮ ದೇಶ,ನಮ್ಮ ಸಂಸ್ಕ್ರತಿ, ಸಂಪ್ರದಾಯಗಳಿಗೆ ನಾವೆಷ್ಟು ಮಹತ್ವ ಕೊಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದೇವೆ?  
ಫೇಸ್ಬುಕ್ ನಿಂದ ಗಂಡುಹುಡುಗರು ಕೆಡುತ್ತಾರೆ ಎನ್ನುವ ಮಾತು ಹಿರಿಯರೊಬ್ಬರು ಹೇಳಿದಾಗ ನಿಜಕ್ಕೂ ಬೇಸರವಾಯಿತು. ಆ ಹಿರಿಯರಿಗೆ ಯುವ ಪೀಳಿಗೆಯ  ನಡತೆ ಇನ್ನೆಷ್ಡು ನೋವಾಗಿರಲಿಕ್ಕಿಲ್ಲ.

💟ಕೆಡಬೇಕಾದರೆ ಫೇಸ್ಬುಕ್ಕೇ ಬೇಕಾಗಿಲ್ಲ.ಕುಳಿತಲ್ಲಿಯೇ ಕೆಡಬಹುದು.ಅದು ಮನಸ್ಸಿಗೆ ಬಿಟ್ಟ ವಿಚಾರ.
ಈ ವಿಷಯದಲ್ಲಿ ಲೆಕ್ಕ ಹಾಕಿದರೆ ಹುಡುಗಿಯರಿಗಿಂತ ಹುಡುಗರೇ ಹೆಚ್ಚು ಜವಾಬ್ದಾರಿ ಯಿಂದ ನಡೆದುಕೊಳ್ಳುವುದು.

💟ಆದರೆ ಕೆಲವು ಹುಡುಗಿಯರ ಹುಚ್ಚಾಟದಿಂದಾಗಿ ಹುಡುಗರ ಮನಸ್ಸು ಎಲ್ಲೋ ಒಂದುಕಡೆ ಮಂಕಾಗುತ್ತದೆ.ಆದರೆ ಹುಡುಗರು ಯಾವತ್ತೂ ಜೀವನ ಪರ್ಯಂತ ಬ್ರಹ್ಮಚಾರಿಗಳಾಗೇ ಕಾಲ ಕಳೆಯುವರೇ ಹೊರತು ಯಾವ ಹೆಣ್ಣಿನೊಂದಿಗೂ ಹುಚ್ಚಾಟವಾಡುಷ್ಟು ಕೆಟ್ಟುಹೋಗಿಲ್ಲ ನಮ್ಮ ಬ್ರಾಹ್ಮಣ ಹುಡುಗರು.
ಅವರಿಗೆ ತಮ್ಮದೇ ಆದ ಕನಸುಗಳಿವೆ.ಹೆತ್ತವರ ಬಗೆಗೆ ಕಾಳಜಿ ಇದೆ.ಸಂಸಾರದ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಗಂಭೀರತೆ ಇದೆ.ಜೀವನದ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಉತ್ಸಾಹವಿದೆ.ತಮ್ಮವರನ್ನೂ ಸಂತೋಷವಾಗಿಟ್ಟುಕೊಂಡು ತಾವೂ ಅದರಲ್ಲೇ ಸಂತೋಷ ಕಾಣುವ ಒಳ್ಳೆಯ ಮನಸ್ಸು ಇದೆ.  ಮಗಳು ಸಂತೋಷವಾಗಿರಲು ಇಂತಹ ಒಳ್ಳೆಯ ಯೋಗ್ಯ ವರ ಸಾಕಲ್ಲವಾ? ಯಾರನ್ನೋ ಮೇಲೆತ್ತಿ ಇಂತಹ ಹುಡುಗರನ್ನು ತೀರಾ ಕೀಳಾಗಿ ಕಾಣಬೇಡಿ.   ಹುಡುಗಿ ಕೊಡದಿದ್ದರೆ ಬೇಡ .ಆದರೆ ಇಂತಹವರಿಗೆ ಕನ್ಯ ಯಾರು ಕೊಡುತ್ತಾರೆ ಎನ್ನುವ ತಾತ್ಸಾರದ ಮಾತು ಬೇಡವಷ್ಟೆ.

💟ಇನ್ನು ಬ್ರಾಹ್ಮಣ ಹುಡುಗರು ಬೇರೆ ಜಾತಿಯ ಹುಡುಗಿಯರನ್ನು ಕಣ್ಣೆತ್ತಿ ನೋಡಲೂ ಹೆದರುತ್ತಾರೆ.ಯಾಕೆಂದರೆ ಅವರಿಗೆ ಪ್ರೀತಿ, ಮದುವೆ,ಹುಚ್ಚಾಟವಲ್ಲ.ಅವರಿಗೇ ಅವರದೇ ಆದ ಜವಾಬ್ದಾರಿಗಳಿವೆ.ತಾವು ಕೆಲಸ ಮಾಡುತ್ತಿರುವ ಕ್ಷೇತ್ರದಲ್ಲಿ ಅವರಿಗೇ ಅವರದೇ ಆದ ಸ್ಥಾನಮಾನವಿದೆ.ಎಲ್ಲದಕ್ಕೂ ಹೆಚ್ಚಾಗಿ ಸ್ವಾಭಿಮಾನ ದಿಂದ ಒಬ್ಬರಿಗೆ ಕೈಚಾಚದಂತೆ ಬದುಕುತ್ತಾರೆ.  ಎಲ್ಲರಿಗೂ ಅವರದೇ ಆದ ಜೀವನವಿದೆ.ಮನಸಿದೆ,ಕನಸಿದೆ.ಯಾರಿಗೂ ನೋವು ಮಾಡುವ ಅಧಿಕಾರ ಯಾರಿಗೂ ಇಲ್ಲ.ಅವರವರ ಮನೆಗೆ ಅವರೇ ರಾಜಕುಮಾರರು.
ಅವರಿಗಾಗಿಯೆ ಹಗಲಿರುಳು ಪರಿತಪಿಸುವ ಕುಟುಂಬವಿದೆ.ಅಂತಹ ಕುಟುಂಬದವರ ಪ್ರೀತಿಯ ಮುಂದೆ ಕೋಟಿಗಟ್ಟಲೆ ಆಸ್ತಿ ನಮ್ಮ ಹುಡುಗರಿಗೆ ಲೆಕ್ಕ ಬರುವುದಿಲ್ಲ.   ಒಂದು ಹುಡುಗಿ ಶ್ರೀಮಂತ ಮನೆಯ ಹುಡುಗನನ್ನು ಬಯಸಿದರೆ,ಒಂದು ಹುಡುಗ ಮಾತ್ರ ತಾನು ಮಾಡಿಕೊಳ್ಳುವ ಹುಡುಗಿ ಒಳ್ಳೆಯವಳಾಗಿದ್ದರೆ ಸಾಕು ಎನ್ನುತ್ತಾನೆ.   ಶ್ರಿಮಂತಿಕೆ ಯಾವತ್ತೂ ಬಯಸುವುದಿಲ್ಲ.  

💟ಯಾವುದೋ ಒಂದು ಘಳಿಗೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ದೇಹ,ಮನಸ್ಸು ಕುಸಿದು ನೆಲಕ್ಕೆ ಬಿದ್ದಾಗ ಬೇಕಾಗುವುದು ಹಣವಲ್ಲ.ಒಂದು ಹಿಡಿ ಪ್ರೀತಿ.ಒಂದು ಭರವಸೆಯ ಸಾಂತ್ವನ ನೀಡುವ ಕೈ.ಅದು ಮಧ್ಯಮವರ್ಗದ ನಮ್ಮ ಹುಡುಗರಲ್ಲೇ ಜಾಸ್ತಿ ಇದೆ.ಅದನ್ನು ಗುರುತಿಸಿದರೆ ಸಾಕು.  ವರ ಕನ್ಯ ವಿಷಯವಾಗಿ, ‌ಇಂದಿನ ಪ್ರಸ್ತುತ ವಿದ್ಯಾಮಾನದ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ನನಗೆ ಅನಿಸಿದ್ದನ್ನು ಮುಕ್ತವಾಗಿ ನಿಮ್ಮೊಂದಿಗೆ ಹಂಚಿಕೊಂಡಿದ್ದೇನೆ.ನಿಮ್ಮ ಅಭಿಪ್ರಾಯವನ್ನು ಮುಕ್ತವಾಗಿ ತಿಳಿಸಿ.

ಲೇಖನ: ವಿದ್ಯಾಶ್ರೀ ಕಟ್ಟಿ.