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SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 14

King , Dogs, Wolf

There was a king he had 10 wild dogs...
He used them to torture and eat all ministers who made mistakes.

So one of the minister’s once gave an opinion which was wrong, and which the king didn’t like at all…
So he ordered that the minister to be thrown to the dogs.

So the minister said,
"I served you 10 years and you do this..?
SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 14

Pease give me 10 days before you throw me in with those dogs!
So the king agreed…

In those 10 days the minister went to the guard that was guarding the dogs and told him he wants to serve the dogs for the next 10 days…

The guard was baffled…
But he agreed…
So the minister started feeding the dogs, cleaning for them, washing them, providing all sorts of comfort for them.

So when the 10 days were up…

The king ordered that the minister be thrown in to the dogs for his punishment.

But when he was thrown in,

Everyone was amazed at what they saw..
They saw the dogs licking the feet of the minister!

So the king baffled at what he saw… Said:” what happened to the dog. !!!”

The minister then said;”
I served the dogs for 10 days and they didn’t forget my service…
Yet I served you for 10 years and you forgot all at the first mistake!”…

So the king realised his mistake and Got wolves instead

Moral : What management decided is decided..  though they are wrong, u will be screwed.

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Employee: I want leave
HR: What leave ? Sick leave ? Paid leave ?
Employee: R Gandhi leave
HR: eh ?
Employee: I will go somewhere for 2 months, but the company should not question where or why, but must assume that I am thinking about the betterment of the company.  And once I am back, I expect to be promoted and handed over the responsibility of running the company !

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3 friends lived in a flat on the 100th floor... One day when the lift was not working they decided to tell each other stories as they walked up the stairs. The 1st told a comic story till the 50th floor, 2nd told an action story till the 99th floor and the 3rd told a horror story in just 1 sentence -

"I forgot the flat keys in the car.

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Dear Dad
Sydney is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari 599GTB when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.

Your son, Nasser

Next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail

My dear loving son Twenty million US Dollar has just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us.
Go and get yourself a train too.

Love, your Dad
Al Habibi

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See this Absolutely amazing Mathematics !

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

Brilliant, isn't it?

And look at this symmetry :
1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321

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Prize winning joke of the year-
A man asked Nalia, why  Modiji walks in the evening and not in the morning?
Nalia replied ''bhaiya,  Modi is PM not AM

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Ducks Quack, Eagles Soar

I was waiting in line for a ride at the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing I noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie, and freshly pressed black slacks, the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for me.

He handed me a laminated card and said: 'I'm Wasu, your driver. While I'm loading your bags in the trunk I'd like you to read my mission statement.'

Taken aback, I read the card. It said: Wasu's Mission Statement:
To get my customers to their destination in the quickest, safest and cheapest way possible in a friendly environment.

This blew me away. Especially when I noticed that the inside of the cab matched the outside. Spotlessly clean!

As he slid behind the wheel, Wasu said, 'Would you like a cup of coffee? I have a thermos of regular and one of decaf.'

I said jokingly, 'No, I'd prefer a soft drink.'

Wasu smiled and said, 'No problem. I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, lassi, water and orange juice.'

Almost stuttering, I said, 'I'll take a Lassi.'

Handing me my drink, Wasu said, 'If you'd like something to read, I have The Hindu, Times  of India, ET and India Today.'

As they were pulling away, Wasu handed me another laminated card, 'These are the stations I get and the music they play, if you'd like to listen to the radio.'

And as if that weren't enough, Wasu told me that he had the air conditioning on and asked if the temperature was comfortable for him.

Then he advised me of the best route to my destination for that time of day. He also let me know that he'd be happy to chat and tell me about some of the sights or, if I preferred, to leave me with my own thoughts.

'Tell me, Wasu,' I was amazed and asked him, 'have you always served customers like this?'

Wasu smiled into the rear view mirror. 'No, not always. In fact, it's only been in the last two years. My first five years driving, I  spent most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do. Then I heard about power of choice one day.'

'Power of choice is that you can be a duck or an eagle.'

'If you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad day, you'll rarely disappoint yourself. Stop complaining!'

'Don't be a duck. Be an eagle. Ducks quack and complain. Eagles soar above the crowd.'

'That hit me right,' said Wasu.

'It is about me. I was always quacking and complaining, so I decided to change my attitude and become an eagle. I looked around at the other cabs and their drivers. The cabs were dirty, the drivers were
unfriendly, and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make some changes. I put in a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I did more.'

'I take it that has paid off for you,' I said.

'It sure has,' Wasu replied. 'My first year as an eagle, I doubled my income from the previous year. This year I'll probably quadruple it. My customers call me for appointments on my cell phone or leave a message on it.'

Wasu made a different choice. He decided to stop quacking like ducks and start soaring like eagles.

Have an eagle week..

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New Research :

The last stages of the war in Ramayana.
Blood flowing like a river. The vanquished Ravana lying on the ground, groaning in pain, awaiting his death.
Rama calls Lakshmana .
Lakshmana, the ever obedient brother says “Yes brother, what do I have to do”
Dear Lakshmana, I have a very important job for you. For all his faults, Ravana is still a great man, very learned, full of wisdom. A great Siva Bhakta. A benevolent Chakravarty. Singer, musician, expert in Veena, knows al the Vedas by heart. Please go to him, pay your respects and request him to share his learning before he departs from this world.
The ever obedient Lakshmana immediately proceeds to the place where Ravana is lying. He stood near his head. Hearing the footsteps and recognising that Lakshmana is standing near his head, Ravana keeps quiet. Lakshmana waits a long time and returns frustrated.
Reports to Rama what happened. Rama, the all knowing, smiles. Lakshmana, when you go to someone for learning, you have to stand at their feet, not sit on their head. Learn to pay proper respect to Ravana so that he can impart his learnings.
Lakshmana goes back and stands near Ravana’s feet. Looking at Lakshmana, Ravana smiles and welcomes him. Dear brother Lakshmana, welcome. How can I be of service to you asks Ravana. Lakshmana keeps silent. Ravana understands the purpose for which Lakshmana has come. He requests Lakshmana to come near him so that he can whisper in his ears.
Says Ravana, I will teach you the 3 most important things which all must follow in their lives :
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1. Please Don’t get hooked to Whatsapp
2. Don’t use Facebook
3. While driving, please don’t use your Mobile.
You will succeed in your life.

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A rich businessman in a restaurant.. After eating, he gave 5$ to the waiter as a tip. . . The waiter had a strange feeling on his face after the tip. The man realized and asked. What happened? . . Waiter: I'm just amazed because on the same table your daughter gave Tip Of... 500$... and you her Father, richest man in the world Only Gave 5$...? . . . Man Smiled and Replied With Meaningful words:-"She is daughter of the world's richest man, but I am the son of a Coolie." ( Never Forget Your Past. It's Your Best Teacher)

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Please read this .  You will  find great relief , if you are disturbed. It's  a request

Once Buddha was traveling with a few of his followers.

While they were passing a lake, Buddha told one of his disciples, "I am thirsty. Do get me some water from the lake."

The disciple walked up to the lake.
At that moment, a bullock cart started crossing through the lake.
As a result, the water became very muddy and turbid.

The disciple thought, "How can I give this muddy water to Buddha to drink?"

So he came back and told Buddha, "The water in there is very muddy. I don't think it is fit to drink."

After about half an hour, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back
to the lake.

The disciple went back, and found that the water was still muddy.

He returned and informed Buddha about the same.

After sometime, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back.

This time, the disciple found the mud had settled down, and the water was clean and clear.

So he collected some water in a pot and brought it to Buddha.

Buddha looked at the water, and then he looked up at the disciple and said, "See what you did to make the water clean. You let it be, and the mud settled down on its own, and you have clear water."

Your mind is like that too ! When it is disturbed, just let it be. Give it a little time. It will settle down on its own.

You don't have to put in any effort to calm it down.
It will happen. It is effortless."

Having 'Peace of Mind' is not a strenuous job, it is an effortless process👌so keep ur mind cool and have a grt life ahead...

Never leave Your close ones.
If you find few faults in them just close Your eyes
'n Remembr the best time You spent together
because affection is More Important than Perfection..!
Neither you can hug yourself nor you can cry on your own shoulder.

Life is all about living for one another, so live with those who love you the most...

Relations cannot be Understood by the Language of Money...
Bcoz, Some Investments Never Give Profit But They Make us rich...!

Family n Friends are such Investments

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STORY FOR GROWTH:

A lovely little girl was holding two apples with both hands.
Her mum came in and softly asked her little daughter with a smile: my sweetie, could you give your mum one of your two apples?
The girl looked up at her mum for some seconds, then she suddenly took a quick bite on one apple, and then quickly on the other.
The mum felt the smile on her face freeze. She tried hard not to reveal her disappointment.
Then the little girl handed one of her bitten apples to her mum,and said: mummy, here you are. This is the sweeter one.

No matter who you are, how experienced you are, and how knowledgeable you think you are, always delay judgement.  Give others the privelege to explain themselves. What you see may not be the reality. Never conclude for others.

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ಕನ್ನಡ ಭಾಷೆಯ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಮಾಹಿತಿ
About Kannada Language:

Kannada is the third oldest language of World. (After . . . Sanskrit and Greek)
is as old as 2000 years.

Kannada is 99.99% perfect -logically and scientifically.

Kannadaigas got 8 Gnana Peetha Awards.

Shri VINOBA BHAVE called Kannada   as QUEEN OF WORLD SCRIPTS - "Vishwa LipigaLa RaaNi - Kannada "

International language -- English does not have its own Script. English is written in "ROMAN"

Kannada is as old as 2000 years. You can write what you speak and you can read what you write.

When " Kaviraja Maarga was written . . ."kaaveriyinda , godaavarivaregirpa ... " by Amogha Varsha Nripathunga, English was incradle and Hindi was not born at all.

Kannada is the only Indian language for which a foreigner (Kittal) wrote a dictionary (Shabda Kosha)

Ragale Saahithya can be seen only in v which is of a rare and different kind of literature.

Number of literature awards KUVEMPU got, was highest among any Indian authors.

Kannada Chandassu (shatpadis) out pared all other languages.

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