SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 18

Mental Aptitude Test

Pretty Amazing The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person over 23 years of age cannot do it!
SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 18

1. This is this cat.
2. This is is cat.
3. This is how cat.
4. This is to cat.
5. This is keep cat.
6. This is an cat.
7. This is old cat.
8. This is fool cat.
9. This is busy cat.
10. This is for cat.
11. This is forty cat.
12. This is seconds cat.

Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down and I bet you, cannot resist passing it on


      The Principal

Dear Sir,

Sub.: leave application for eye coming

I will  not come  as my  eyes have come. If I come with  my coming eyes then  your eyes  will come  & you will not come. But still if you  come with your  coming  eyes all office eyes  will come  & all  will not  come. So  I will  not come   and all  will  come.  I  will come  back  when  my  coming eyes  will  go & all will  come  without their eyes coming.

Yours  Sincerely


A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text: “If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you!

The husband, typically unromantic, replied,

"I am in the toilet. Please advise"


बच्चा School का Admission Form भरते हुये .... पापा Mother Tongue मे Kya लिखु ?

पापा : लिख बेटा, Very Long & Out Of Control.


'Wife: Jab main gana gaati hon to aap bahar kyon chaly jaty hain??

Husband: Takay bahar waly ye na samjhen k main tumhara gala daba raha hon.'


Beautiful letter written by a father to his son
Please read till end . It's worth it .
Must send to your children

A letter to my beloved children :

Dear son / daughter

I am writing this to you because of 3 reasons

1. Life, fortune and mishaps are unpredictable, nobody knows how long he lives. Some words are better said early.

2. I am your father, and if I don't tell you these, no one else will.

 3. What is written is my own personal bitter experiences that perhaps could save you a lot of unnecessary heartaches. Remember the following as you go through life

 1. Do not bear grudge towards those who are not good to you. No one has the responsibility of treating you well, except your mother and I.
To those who are good to you, you have to treasure it and be thankful, and ALSO you have to be cautious, because, everyone has a motive for every move. When a person is good to you, it does not mean he really likes you. You have to be careful, don't hastily regard him as a real friend.

2. No one is indispensable, nothing is in the world that you must possess.
Once you understand this idea, it would be easier for you to go through life when people around you don't want you anymore, or when you lose what/who you love most.

 3.Life is short.
When you waste your life today, tomorrow you would find that life is leaving you. The earlier you treasure your life, the better you enjoy life.

4.Love is but a transient feeling, and this feeling would fade with time and with one's mood. If your so called loved one leaves you, be patient, time will wash away your aches and sadness.
Don't over exaggerate the beauty and sweetness of love, and don't over exaggerate the sadness of falling out of love.

 5.A lot of successful people did not receive a good education, that does not mean that you can be successful by not studying hard! Whatever knowledge you gain is your weapon in life.
One can go from rags to riches, but one has to start from some rags!

 6.I do not expect you to financially support me when I am old, neither  would I financially support your whole life. My responsibility as a supporter ends when you are grown up. After that, you decide whether  you want to travel in a public transport or in your limousine, whether rich or poor.

7.You honour your words, but don't expect others to be so. You can be good to people, but don't expect people to be good to you. If you don't understand this, you would end up with unnecessary troubles.

 8. I have bought lotteries for umpteen years, but I could never strike any prize. That shows if you want to be rich, you have to work hard! There is no free lunch!

9. No matter how much time I have with you, let's treasure the time we have together. We do not know if we would meet again in our next life.

                Your Dad


Funny Car Extensions

FORD  -  For  Only  Rough  Drivers

HYUNDAI    -   Hope  You  Understand  Nothing  Drivable  And  Inexpensive

VOLVO    -  Very  Odd  Looking  Vehicular  Object

PORSCHE    -   Proof  Of  Rich  Spoilt  Children  Having  Everything

OPEL    -  Old  People  Enjoying  Life

TOYOTA   -  The  One  You  Only  Trust  Always

HONDA    -  Hanged  Over  Now  Driving  Away

BMW    -  Biggest  Money  Waste

AUDI    -   Automated  Unwanted  Debt  Invitation

Mercedes -  Maximum  Enthusiasm   Recurring  Cost  Ego  Developed  Eagerness to  Sell

FIAT    -  Failure  In Italian  Automotive  Technology

and the Grand Finale..

MARUTI    -  Made  According to  Roads  Users  Typically  Indian

and the Great Grand Finale..

TATA    -  TRY  Again  TRY  Again………..


Height of Misunderstandin­g !

Mr. Kapoor comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: "I have great news… I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby!

The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."

The next day, Mrs. Kapoor receives a telephone call from Reliance Energy because the electricity bill has not been paid.

" Am I speaking to Mrs. Kapoor? "

"Yes… speaking"

Reliance guy, "You're a month overdue, you know!"

"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.

"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the Reliance guy.

"What are you saying? It's in your files… HOW ???"

" Yes ….. We have a system of finding out who's overdue "

" GOD !!!… This is too much…"

"Madam, I am sorry… I am just following orders… I have to inform that you are overdue.."

"I know that … let me talk to my husband about this tonight. He will speak to your company tomorrow.. "

That night, she tells her husband about the incident, and he, mad as a bull,rushes to Reliance office the next day morning.

"What's going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts..

"Just calm down," says the lady at the reception at Reliance, "it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us."

"PAY you? And if I refuse?"

"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off.."

"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.

"Well… I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle !!!

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