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SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 64

Sweetness of Sour Oranges
SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 64
He often bought oranges from an old lady. After they were weighed, paid for and put in his bag, he would always pick one from his bag, peel it, put a segment in his mouth, complain it's sour and pass on the orange to the seller. The old lady would put one segment in her mouth and retort, "why, it's sweet," but by then he was gone with his bag. His wife, always with him, asked, "the oranges are always sweet, then why this drama every time?" He smiled, "the old mother sells sweet oranges but never eats them herself. This way I get her to eat one, without losing her money. That's all." The vegetable seller next to the old lady, saw this everyday. She chided, "every time this man fusses over your oranges, and I see that you always weigh a few extra for him. Why?" The old lady smiled, "I know he does this to feed me an orange, only, he thinks I don't understand. I never weigh extra. His love tilts the scale slightly every time." Life's joys are in these sweet little gestures of love and respect for our fellow beings. And in giving, not usurping. Not in money. *******

Chitragupta's problem :
😩😩😩

One day  Chitragupta told Bramha that he should stop this scheme that if ladies keep Karva Chauth...they will get the same  husband for the next 7 janmas. 
πŸ˜•πŸ˜•πŸ˜•

Brahma asked, ”Why”❓
πŸ˜•πŸ˜•πŸ˜•

Chitragupta : .Sir, its becoming difficult to manage...
The wife want the same 
 Husband  πŸ‘¨ and the husband  want a new wifeπŸ’ƒ
Its a problem to convince both.
😩😩😩

Bramha : But this can’t be stopped...
It’s been going on since times immemorial.
πŸ˜•πŸ˜•πŸ˜•
Just then Narada  comes and he suggested...
On earth, there is a great person called " Chanakya" πŸ‘³
Ask him for a solution.

(Chitragupta meets "Chanakya")

In one minute "Chanakya" solves the problem...😎

he advised .Chitragupta..
Any  wife who wants the same ..husband... tell her that, 
she will also get the same  "MOTHER IN LAW".         for the next 7 lives  πŸ’€πŸ˜–πŸ‘Ή

All women screamed "oh god no!!!" 
πŸ˜‘πŸ˜‘πŸ˜³πŸ˜³πŸ˜©πŸ˜©πŸ˜•πŸ˜•πŸ™†πŸ™†

Problem solved😜😜😜

*********

A man woke up in the morning deeply repentant  after a bitter fight with his wife the previous night. He noticed with dismay the crate of beer bottles that had caused the fight. 
He took it outside and started smashing  the empty bottles one by one onto the wall.
He smashed the first bottle swearing, "you are the reason I fight with  my wife".
He smashed the second bottle, "you are the reason I don't love my children".
He smashed the third bottle, "you are the reason I don't have a decent job".
When he took the fourth bottle, he realized that the bottle was still sealed and was full. He hesitated  for only a moment and said "you stand aside, I know you were not involved".
🍻 πŸ˜‚
Men will be men😝

*********

Welcome cup Tea... very touching...

A group of 15 solders led by a Major were on their way to the post in Himalayans where they would be deployed for the next 3 months. The batch who would  be relieved waiting anxiously.

It was cold winter & intermittent snowfall made the treacherous climb more difficult.

If someone could offer a cup of tea. . the major thought, knowing it was a futile wish..

They continued for an hour before they came across a dilapidated structure, which looked like a tea shop but locked. It was late in the night. 

"No tea boys, bad luck", said the major. But he suggested all take some rest there as they have been walking for 3 hours.
"Sir, this is a tea shop and we can make tea... We will have to break the lock", suggested one solder.

The officer was in great dilemma to the unethical suggestion but the thought of a steaming cup of tea for the tired solders made him to give the permission.

They were in luck, the place had everything needed to make tea and also packets of biscuits.
The solders had tea & biscuits and  were ready for the remaining journey.

The major thought, they had broken open lock and had tea & biscuits without the permission of the owner. But they're not a band of thieves but disciplined soldiers. 
He took out a Rs 1000/- note from his wallet, placed it on the  counter, pressed under sugar container, so that the owner can see.

The officer was now relieved of his guilt. He ordered to put the shutter down and proceed.

Three months passed, they continued to  do gallantly in their works and were lucky not to loose anyone from the group in the intense insurgency situation.
It was time for another team to replace them.

 Soon they were on their way back and stopped at the same tea shop which was open and owner was present in the shop.
The owner an old man will meager resources was very happy to greet 15 customers. 

All of them had tea and biscuits. They talked to the old man about his life and  experience specially selling tea at such a remote place.

The old man had many stories to tell, replete with his faith in God. 
"Oh, Baba, if God is there, why should He keep you in such poverty?", commented one of them.

"Do not say  like that Sahib! God actually is there, I got a proof 3 months ago."
"I was going through very tough times because my only son had been severely beaten by terrorist who wanted some information from him which he did not have. I had closed my shop to take my son to hospital. Some medicines were to be purchased and I had no money. No one would give 
me loan for fear of the terrorists. There was no hope, Sahib".

"And that day Sahib, I prayed to God for help. And Sahib, God walked into my shop that day."
"When I returned to my shop, I found lock broken, I felt I was finished, I lost whatever little I had. But then I saw that God had left Rs 1000/ under the sugar pot. I can't tell you Sahib what that money was worth that day. God exists Sahib. He does."

The faith in his eyes were unflinching.
Fifteen pairs of eyes met the eyes of the officer and read the order in his eyes clear and unambiguous, "Keep quiet".

The officer got up and paid the bill. He hugged the old man and said, "Yes Baba, I know God does exist. And yes, the tea was wonderful."

The the 15 pairs of eyes did not miss to notice the moisture building up in the eyes of their officer, a rare sight.

The truth is u can be God to anyone.

*********

Once there was a bus conductor, who was very rude to his passengers.

One day a beautiful young girl, of around 18 years,tried to board the bus, but he didn't stop the bus.

Unfortunately the beautiful young girl came under the bus and died on the spot. Angry passengers took the conductor to the police station, who in turn took him to the court.

The judge was not at all impressed with him and gave him capital punishment.

He was taken to the electrocution chamber. There was a single chair in the center of the room . The conductor was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. But to everyone's amazement, he survived. The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.


A couple of months later, an elderly gentleman tried to board the bus.

This time the Bus conductor, remembering his earlier experience stopped the bus. Unfortunately the elderly gentleman slipped and died due to his
injuries. The conductor was taken to the police station and then to the court, to the same judge. Though he hadn't done anything wrong, but considering his past record the judge decided to set an example and gave him capital punishment.

The Bus conductor was again taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room. He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him.

This time he died instantly !!!!!!!!!!!

The question is why didn't he die on the first  occasion but died instantly the second time??



Okay........ here is the Answer............

During the first  time the conductor was a Bad Conductor, therefore electricity didn't pass through him. But during the second time, he was a good conductor, so electricity passed through him freely and he died !!!! Physics never go wrong....

Don't look  at me!! I am also looking for the PersonπŸ˜‚ who sent me this...πŸ˜œπŸ˜›

*********



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